To be fucked off that DH ate my leftovers

[CatLoaf]

I had an amazing dinner last night, steak platter with friends. It came with bubble and squeak, fab chips...piles of it, and we couldn't finish it. I checked with the others if they were OK with me taking the leftovers home, and was so so looking forward to them tonight. DH (a 'flexitarian' who tries not to eat meat), just told me he ate it for lunch.

I am so so pissed off, and I KNOW I should have expressly told him not to eat it if that's what I wanted. But I'm 6 months pregnant, hormonal, and when he told me I just saw red. Totally overreacted and told him I was really pissed off with him. Then went into our bedroom and had a scream into a pillow. I know, pathetic. Then I told him he could sort his own dinner out.

Now he's taken his coat and backpack and gone out, saying he can't stay here atm. It's completely blown up and I feel horrible. Currently sitting in the dark in DD's room. I hate this

It’s bringing me screaming back to living in uni halls and wondering why so many people thought taking other people’s food was acceptable behaviour. It’s not joint food just because it’s stored in a joint appliance.

I do think different households have different 'rules', generally though I wouldn't think to tell someone who didn't eat meat often not to eat a steak platter. We go by the rule if it's leftovers or whatever then ask before eating! Admittedly I do think perhaps your reaction was over the top, but so was his storming out in a huff. Is this just the tip of the iceberg OP? The steak that broke the camels back as it were? My DH would have gone and got me a takeaway or something if he'd done this, did he offer?

He's not greedy. I just had an image in my head of enjoying this delicious food, then hearing him calmly remark that he'd eaten it for lunch was just too much.
I've whatsapped him but it's not delivered.

He shouldn’t have done it. It was selfish. You flew into a pregnant rage. Saying ‘I’m pissed off’ and screaming into a pillow is not really cause to leave.

You need to tell him not to.

Food in the fridge is fair game.

Maybe it is in your house but not in mine.

We had leftovers this week from afternoon tea last weekend and if either me or DH had eaten the lot without asking the other, we would have been pretty mad! He should have asked. I think he's overreacting by leaving though tbf

That's not irrational. What a selfish, horrible thing to do, to take an obviously choc orange brownie and throw it in the bin. If you're a picky eater, pay attention to the food you try to eat

Mumsnet is full of posters with husbands who sneak around eating food they're not supposed to. It's a thing on here. It's some kind of fetish.
It's like there's a whole underworld of piggy blokes with their trotters in their wives baked goods.

It actually annoys me (and saying this as heavily pregnant!) why it's funny or acceptable to say pregnancy hormones are a reason/excuse for shouting or difficult behaviour, but can't see such allowances given for any other hormonal rages.

It was my dinner, I thought that might make a difference. Leftovers from family meals, sure, knock yourself out

Taken his coat and backpack? Does he just come and go usually?

I completely empathise with you OP! I’d be incandescent too! 🤬

Years ago I made a whopper apple pie. The pastry, from scratch, was perfect. The fruit beautifully cooked, sweet but not too sweet, just soft enough, an absolute corker of a pie.

We all had some for supper and there was enough left for a second round of pudding the following night.
You know what’s coming don’t you?

I was salivating on my way home from work thinking about warm succulent pie and custard. Comfort food of my God!

Opened fridge and it was gone! Scoffed by husband and a child. I was furious that they could be so greedy.

I’ve never forgotten it and to this day child and I reminisce and laugh ‘til tears run down our cheeks.

Nah, if you took food home from a restaurant then it's yours to eat. He was out of order. And now he's being sulky.

@ScentOfAMemory

Mumsnet is full of posters with husbands who sneak around eating food they're not supposed to. It's a thing on here. It's some kind of fetish. It's like there's a whole underworld of piggy blokes with their trotters in their wives baked goods.

😂

Yes, Ive seen the Reddit threads on the greedy husband phenomenon. Whatever. This isnt that - he's not greedy, I'm not saying he's a pig, I'm saying I'm angry he ate my leftovers for lunch.

YANBU, he is. It should have been completely obvious that you brought the food home to eat yourself from your own meal especially as you didn’t think he was eating meat. I think your reaction is reasonable and his is ridiculous, he was thoughtless and now appears to be guilt tripping you.

I would assume this is the tip of a big iceberg?

PS:
Buy yourself a thick black marker pen.
Cover ”your” food in tin foil.
Write your name on the foil.
Shove to back of fridge or stash in veg’ drawer.
Works a treat. 😂

This. If I saw some leftovers from elsewhere in the fridge I’d assume the person who put them there did so because they wanted to eat them. I wouldn’t just scoff the lot. Thoughtless greedy git.

This is the best thing I've read on MN for ages. What a delight.

God it's like lasagne gate all over again. I have no idea why some men are like this, I'm just glad I'm not married to one.

Yes, if id have gone out with friends and taken home the leftovers then I wouldn't expect my OH to eat them. He probably would of too but id have told him not too as food in the fridge is fair game. He has overreacted by walking out. He knows he's in the wrong, doesn't apologise so just buggers off instead. It's not like you can pack a bag and walk out. When he returns, I would tell him it's your turn for some time out and you will see him later - see how he likes it!

Ugh I would have reacted very similarly to you, I was full of rage and tears when I was pregnant. Obviously, it's easily sorted hopefully. Hope you feel better soon.

YANBU in my opinion. Yes it was food that was in the fridge but it was your leftovers not just random food from the weekly shop.

Leftovers in our house belong to the original owner unless permission is granted.

if I was pregnant and DH are my coveted leftovers, I would expect him to go back to the restaurant and get me an order to-go