To think that the majority of teenagers would benefit from going away to boarding school

[Covidisstillanissue]

I’m just musing based off those who I know personally. Clearly, this is unlikely to ever become a widespread idea but thinking hypothetically. Also, while I think for the majority of teenagers this would be beneficial it wouldn’t be for everyone.
First off, I think it would massively benefit them in terms of independence. So many times nowadays teenagers (especially younger teens) are unable to even do the most basic things and are often very infantilised. I think with boarding often you become far more independent than your peers who live at home and go to day school.
Secondly, socially I think it would be beneficial as they live with their friends and often form far stronger friendships and (tied in with independence) a bit more maturity in terms of how they deal with their friendships. In schools nowadays it feels like parents and pastoral staff are constantly dragged in to even the most minor disputes between friends, sometimes with kids age 15/16 - an age you would expect them to be gearing up to be behaving more like adults.
To be clear, I do not think that boarding school is good for children under the age of about 13 (year 9) however, for teenagers I do think they would benefit.
There’s other things I could say but overall Aibu to think that for most teenagers boarding school would be beneficial?

Have met loads of people in life who were boarding school kids, each and every one is fucked up and admit it was a deeply traumatic experience

Those I know who went to boarding school were far less independent than those who didn't. The people I know who were boarders are emotionally stunted adults. That's not to say that's the case for everyone, it's purely anecdotal from my experience.

Frankly, I think parents need to step it up and teach basic life skills like cooking, cleaning, DIY, and budgeting. All information is readily available online if parents don't know it themselves. Schools are relied upon far too heavily.

I agree OP. I went, my DC went. Great fun. - but people have ridiculous views on boarding school. It's cruel and wicked - apparently. And 16 and 17 year olds are innocent children who must be protected at all costs in their loving families (because all families are loving and wonderful and teach kids properly, right?). - And yet at 18 they are adults and should go away and their parents MUST not interfere or help them out because they are ADULTS! 😂

My son has got his independence at Uni. He didn’t need to leave home before then to be able to cook or wash his clothes

I think @blickgeek has outlined the benefits well. About half the people I know well and consider friends went to boarding schools (mostly service families often deployed overseas, so for continuity of education). We're all competent and self-reliant and emotionally independent. My DH can still cry and has friends from 50 years ago. Skills like laundry, shopping and cleaning are hardly difficult to learn at university. It doesn't work for everyone, acknowledged, but there is actually some value in learning young that the world doesn't revolve around any one individual and in impartial discipline for the good of the community. "It isn't fair" gets nowhere as a complaint if the rules are uniformly applied. You learn quickly that you are not more special than anyone else to the house parents, and it's very nice to go home where you are special.

You can build independence at home (and boarding school is often very structured and regimented so not necessarily promoting independence in many things). You can build family ties as well as socialisation with friends at home. You don't need to live with friends to socialise with them. If there are children who bully them, they can escape it more easily in a home away from them. I would prefer to be there to support and guide my children myself. I prefer to parent / bring up my own children. Other people are free to do what they think suits their children best as I am sure that there are different perspectives and positives. Different children will thrive in different environments and some children would not suit boarding school.

Boarding school nearly killed me, and many of my friends from school are now severely mentally damaged, some dead and others with highly successful lives but no family. I'd rather send my kids to school ran by children than to a boarding school.

So am I. And I don't think it did him any harm.

Thanks. I wasn't sure if my post resonates with others.

Do you think that whole thing about just being able to pick up and go and fit anywhere is something that is specific to people that went to boarding school ?

If you need a couple of guinea pigs to test your theory, my teenage daughters are up for grabs

It's also important to consider that sometimes the home environment may be far from ideal. So boarding school might be a better option.

I went to private school on an academic scholarship as a day pupil and I did a term of boarding aged 11 and aged 15 and it was great for independence. However it's bloody expensive and at the time pastoral care at private school was not great. I think there are other ways - there used to be the citizenship scheme where young people could do residentials over the summer etc.

My 15 year old cooks, cleans, helps with laundry and does a paper round at 6am 5 days a week. She also regularly travels around the city centre using trains or buses.

When she finishes school she gets to come home to a loving and secure environment where she's welcome to invite friends if she wants.

I really can't see how boarding school would be an improvement on any of that.

YABU to think that boarding school is beneficial outside the circles where knowing the right people is more important than ability...and frankly most aspiring teens wouldn't fit in because their family net worth makes them unattractive companions.

It might seem so but no, I think it can be really harmful.

So many men in particular are emotionally damaged and stunted from boarding school that there's a terms for it "boarding school syndrome".

Not saying it's a hard no - everyone is different. But your question was whether they all inevitably benefit. To which I would say not necessarily.

Have you been watching a lot of Malory Towers?

Have you heard how some teens talk to each other ?! They’re awful to each other. To not be able to escape that would be hugely detrimental to mental health. There is a massive problem with bullying in UK schools and I imagine it’s no different in a boarding school. Teens still need their parents. They may not realise it , but they’re quite vulnerable due to raging hormones and these days, social media.

Not really, OP. The main benefit of most blaring schools is making connections with other wealthy people bur this benefit is quickly disappearing as society is changing and we don't blindly respect the rich like we used to. Otherwise, they are essentially businesses that commonly rip off gullible parents and give substandard care to emotionally abused children. I wouldn't say I recommend it.

They wouldn't learn life skills such as cooking, shopping, budgeting, cleaning, ..., in a boarding school because it would all be done for them. Meanwhile they'd be exposed to potential bullying and abuse around the clock. I'd never make my kids go unless it was their own idea.

First off, I think it would massively benefit them in terms of independence. So many times nowadays teenagers (especially younger teens) are unable to even do the most basic things and are often very infantilised. I think with boarding often you become far more independent than your peers who live at home and go to day school.

I would have thought a teen living at home would be more capable of learning how to survive in the adult world than one at a boarding school where everything is done for you. It's proper parenting which makes a child independent, not where they go to school.
I also believe it is important that a child goes to school where they live and becomes a part of that community.

Indeed. Just look at Boris and his Eton chums.

We had our two sons because we wanted a family and to bring them up ourselves. We didn't have them so we could pack them off for someone else to raise. Now in their 40s, they're doing very well.

No, because teenagers need a lot of love and there's none of that at boarding school. (I am an ex boarder from when I was younger than 13 and also have teen DC).

Unfortunately, too few have that.

Is sexual assault in school not bad enough youvwant to hugely increase opportunity. Okay.

The parents would benefit more than the child.
😁😁