To think that the majority of teenagers would benefit from going away to boarding school

[Covidisstillanissue]

I’m just musing based off those who I know personally. Clearly, this is unlikely to ever become a widespread idea but thinking hypothetically. Also, while I think for the majority of teenagers this would be beneficial it wouldn’t be for everyone.
First off, I think it would massively benefit them in terms of independence. So many times nowadays teenagers (especially younger teens) are unable to even do the most basic things and are often very infantilised. I think with boarding often you become far more independent than your peers who live at home and go to day school.
Secondly, socially I think it would be beneficial as they live with their friends and often form far stronger friendships and (tied in with independence) a bit more maturity in terms of how they deal with their friendships. In schools nowadays it feels like parents and pastoral staff are constantly dragged in to even the most minor disputes between friends, sometimes with kids age 15/16 - an age you would expect them to be gearing up to be behaving more like adults.
To be clear, I do not think that boarding school is good for children under the age of about 13 (year 9) however, for teenagers I do think they would benefit.
There’s other things I could say but overall Aibu to think that for most teenagers boarding school would be beneficial?

If your family is dysfunctional or abusive boarding school is better. But for children from normal loving families institutional care is not the answer.

I think the problem is more that too many parents don't understand that their job as parents is to teach their children to be independant and well rounded people by the time they're 18. It's an 18 year long process, not mollycoddling them till 17 and 3/4 and then tell them to figure it out because their age suddenly makes them adults.

Not the majority no, but there are benefits for some kids.

Hard to believe the number of posters who seem to think that only children from disfunctional families benefit from boarding. Lots of children from perfectly normal, loving families are boarders.

The option for local, weekly boarding/home at weekends at 6th form level would be a really good, gentle ease in to uni independence.

Of course they might be independent enough to do it, but why would they want to? I was home, outside, playing with my mates every night when I was 13.

My idea of independence would not have been living at my school. How independent can you really be when you're under the supervision of a boarding school?

My DP went to boarding school from age 11. It is responsible for the majority of the problems in his life now. YABVVVVVVU.

I'm sure some kids benefit but like everything in life there is no one size fits all and boarding schools definitely do not/would not benefit every teenager - in some cases they cause extreme emotional harm.

Do you know any personally?

None of my friends who went to boarding school came from dysfunctional families but most of them were dysfunctional in some way by the time they left boarding school.

Agree.

Boarding schools are very institutionalised. Everything on tap, you don't naked your own tea, navigate going to a concert with friends etc etc
I think the opposite of what you are saying is true, apart from those with really helicopter parents

Boris Johnson is a prime example of boarding school kid.

He's a self-interested narcissist who apparently doesn't respect himself and he respects other people even less. Look how he's treated women over the years.

But isn't becoming independent and living with your mates what university or first jobs are for? Surely the issue is given cost of university or cost of living young adults aren't moving on to independence at 18/20ish?

It is not. I did this and had less independence at school and knew more about taking care of myself than my fellow pupils did.

If you are terrible at parenting your child might be better at boarding school. Otherwise it is a terrible idea.

I often think this. DS is at army cadets with boarding school kids and he likes the idea of it. From what I've seen there's a lot to be said for part time boarding during the teen years for teens who would like to do it.

I work at a school which is half boarding, half day pupils. Some children thrive, but many don't. They are home sick, and anxious which presents in many ways. And as to learning independence, they are totally nannied by the school, so no!

Um, no. I think teenagers still need a lot of parenting, and it's much easier to do that effectively when you're actually living with them.

Good parenting obviously includes things like teaching them to be independent and learning to manage friendship issues and other stuff for themselves. You don't have to send them away to a achieve this.

It isn't a binary choice between sending your kids to boarding school and being an overly involved helicopter parent. There is a happy medium.

By learning independence parents mean that children become emotionally detached and distant from them. That can look like independence as they no longer go to their parents to help meet their emotional needs.

Why not say they would benefit from national service?!

What a weird concept. No judgment if you choose it but I would never send my children away to be essentially raised by their school.

YABU my mum went to boarding school and is so self reliant (as described by PP) she is emotionally crippled. It's a parent's job to tech independence not a school.

Rubbish. It’s a very individual thing. Our kids were at a boarding school as day pupils. At least half of the boarders were miserable there.

this in bucket loads.

I have one at uni and one about to go in September.
Both can look after themselves, get around the country on public transport, cook, do the washing, clean.
Both are able to drive, have a good work ethic and have earned their own money since aged 16.
Both are kind and caring adults, who have a good circle of friends.

and importantly, both have a good close relationship with both parents, knowing that they have a safe base here if they need it, and support if and when they need it, while being 100% ready to fly the nest when uni started.

I went to boarding school. I was independant and had close friends. But those things did not come form boarding school. It also took me a long time to forgive my parents, despite having a close relationship with them.

Agree with most PP here who say that most teens need more parenting. Not boarding school.

Yes it would be fun; but who do they actually turn to to help them sort out problems?

Yes - as I said earlier - my granddaughter.