Dad taking a bath with young child

[Demjay]

Please help:
would you consider it normal for a dad to share a bath with his children : say 3-5 years? If you had other concerns , would this be a red flag , or is this just totally ordinary / acceptable dad behaviour?

Generally speaking, a father bathing with his children of that age wouldn't be a concern. Given additional concerns, it would be inadvisable.

Is the man in question aware of allegations of abuse against him?

The thing is I don't think nudity within a family or sharing a bath necessarily means something dodgy is going on. I'm sure in the vast majority of cases, it's totally innocent. But...I do get the ick at the idea of adult male genitalia being out around children. My dad was a totally decent human being and father but the thought of seeing him naked is absolutely gross to me. My dh is never naked in front of our kids and neither am I. I often wonder with these families who are really easy going and liberal...are the kids really fine with it?

This would be fine if your drip feed was hugely relevant, which it is. Your update was incredibly concerning……

*if your update wasn’t hugely relevant

I think it's brilliant that you have approached this so differently from your own upbringing.

Apart from anything else, it's important for kids to know that bodies are not always perfect/ airbrushed and (ffs) bald.

Can I also afk how wearing shorts in the bath prevents a man abusing a child?

I would be more worried about the substance abuse.

I very much look forward to the visit, we haven’t seen our lovely social worker recently.

Lol

You can't access the IP address of the commenter. Even if you couldn't (hint: you can't!) there's nothing you could do with it.

Stop speaking shit 🤣

It doesn't but putting abuse aside, a child might be uncomfortable with seeing their parents genitals. I know I wouldn't have wanted to at any age. I find the idea repulsive and no I've never been abused. I just think it's grim.

I have a 3 year old and off course he needs assistance with bath time. I'll be honest it wouldn't even cross mine or DH's mind to get naked in the bath with him. We're just not that kind of people.

Off course if the child needed extra support (disability) then I can understand but other than that I can't understand WHY a parent would need to get naked in the bath with a child. I'm sorry but I just find it really weird.

My 3 year old is very bright. I use to get dressed in front him occasionally when he was a bit younger but now that I noticed him being more inquisitive I stopped.

I shared baths with my son until he was 2 and I probably still would but that bath is small.

My husband has been in the bath with our son recently but it's rare since she is 6ft5!

I don't see the issue and it's definitely the same for mum as it is dad .
The other issues though could sway it for me. I haven't read the full thread yet

We're not particularly liberal but we're not overly concerned with nudity in our house. We don't actively go around naked for the purpose of being naked, but if they walk in and we're dressing or showing, it's not an issue. I assume if my kids were ever uncomfortable or in any way not fine with it, they'd stop coming in when they know I'm in the shower or running around naked themselves. Having a shower in peace would be lovely though. There's a difference in forcing your kids to be naked / to be around you when you're naked and just going about normal every day behaviour where the kids don't care what you're doing and become little space invaders.

Normal on its own. If something feels off, then please do something for the child’s sake x

Women sharing baths with kids IS different to men sharing baths.

Look at stats as to how many men sexually abuse children vs women

Do you think that that was innate, or learned?

Innate because my family were actually pretty liberal...my parents weren't prudish at all. They'd leave the door open when they were changing or in the bathroom. I just found it disgusting.

My OH is a mobile worker away monday to friday, my DS 2y loves Fridays when he can get in the bath with daddy. If DS is in the bath first all you hear is him shouting his daddy to hurry up! Nothing wrong at all.

For your red flags none of them relate to be red flags towards the child. Yeah he doesn't sound like a great man! But just because he isnt a great man doesn't make him a nonce. From person
Experience it's the over Nice ones you need to watch!!

So a father not bathing with his kids, means he's not going to sexually abuse them? If you follow the school of thought, then you can never allow a father to change a nappy, be alone etc.

Or are you saying all men are pedophiles and bathing with their children is going to make them act on it? Which of course is totally ridiculous!

Yes, but are they statistically more likely to be abusing their own children, or someone else's? Statistically, most children who suffer sexual abuse are victims of a man known to the family rather than their own biological father.

Look at the statistics of how many of those men are sexually abusing other people's children, rather than their own.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · Yesterday 23:21
Are you a prude?
it’s totally natural for kids to see their parents naked and vica versa.

It seems to be a generational thing. I never saw my parents naked, nor have I shared a bath with any of my children - though this is really because I prefer a very hot bath and a long soak in peace.
My elder daughter, I know, shared a bath with her daughter when the child was small.
The other kids who are now parents - I've never asked them. It would seem intrusive to do so.

You might want to read the whole thread. The question of statistics - and your and others’ clearly poor understanding of them - has been covered.

So is my partner likely to be abusing my children then?

He doesn’t bath with our 7yo now, but definitely did when she was smaller - I think she might have jumped in a shower with him when on holiday last year, so she 6. He does, however, bath her.
I pass my toddler son into his bath approx once or twice per week.
There is most definitely no abuse going on. The kids don’t bath with me because they always pee in the bath and I’m not about that life

The question of statistics - and your and others’ clearly poor understanding of them - has been covered

And debunked.