Dad taking a bath with young child

[Demjay]

Please help:
would you consider it normal for a dad to share a bath with his children : say 3-5 years? If you had other concerns , would this be a red flag , or is this just totally ordinary / acceptable dad behaviour?

DS5 often goes in the shower with DH. We have a big shower so it’s not an issue.

I have stopped going in with DS as he shouts ‘boobies’ too often for my liking. But I feel it’s just normal at that age.

Of course its the same

Why is it not the same?

History of intimate partner violence (emotional and financial, some physical), history of stalking, relationship with children appears overly enmeshed , bathes with them and encourages them to bedshare with him. Something just feels off.

Sorry- it's no different to mum bathing with the kids. Either on your home/opinion it's wrong for both, or for neither. Personally- I see it as fine. Unless the children are uncomfortable with it.

My son used to automatically rip his clothes off if he heard dad’s bath running. Stopped around 4/5 if I remember.

That's ridiculous. Do your kids think your DH has a smooth Ken doll groin?

Because 98% of sexual abusers are male. The overwhelming majority of child sex abuse is committed by men. It’s exceptionally rare for a mother to sexually abuse her own children.

Who are you in relation to these people?

Partner violence/abuse most certainly makes someone a gross human being; but not necessarily an incestuous paedophile. In fact; I’d argue that the vast majority of abusers are not planning on sexually abusing their own children.

Bedsharing with preschoolers and being “enmeshed” is completely normal for an involved father.

Who is this man to you?

Are they your children OP? Or a relative’s?

Something is making your red flag pop up. I wouldn’t ignore it. Your latest update is very concerning.

History of intimate partner violence (emotional and financial, some physical), history of stalking,

Are you being serious right now? This alone is enough to never speak to someone. An all rounder when it comes to abuse and then a stalker on top of it all? Wow. Do you not know what red flags are?! These are literally the definitions of red flags

Totally normal....

A relative

How do you know these people?

It’s also exceptionally rare for a man to sexually abuse his own children.

Just because 98% of sexual abusers are men; doesn’t mean that 98% of men are sexual abusers. Particularly when we add other variables like the fact we are talking about preschoolers and we are talking about the men’s own children.

Because 98% of sexual abusers are male. The overwhelming majority of child sex abuse is committed by men. It’s exceptionally rare for a mother to sexually abuse her own children.

So are you saying no man should be trusted, by virtue that they are male?

Who are you to decide that the man's feelings are ridiculous? If he's not comfortable, he's not comfortable.

I wouldn’t be at all concerned if my husband took a bath with our kids!

This is a really strange post OP. You're really drip feeding information. It's almost like you want everyone to say YABU so you can prove everyone wrong with a massive revelation.

No I was just asking if people would consider it normal , or if it would be seen as a concern.
People immediately started saying that it’s no less of a concern than a mother bathing with her kids. I was explaining why I disagree with that.

We also cosleep with our kids?

As much as he sounds like a horrible partner/husband, it simply doesn’t logically follow that he’s a paedophile who wants to abuse his own children, if that’s what your suggestion? I mean - I’m not justifying his awful behaviour at all, but the two things just aren’t connected.

I just wanted peoples honest opinions about the bath. It seems most people think this is fine