To want DS to go to the best university?

[Oilrigger]

DS now has five offers from universities: three Russell Group, one a well-regarded uni but not RG and one a newer university (former poly years ago) offering him BBC (he is predicted AAB). The courses are pretty similar at all five unis (can't go into more detail because he would be furious if he found out I was posting on MN!).

He is adamant that he wants to go to the former poly because he likes it the most. He also reasons that he will have a more enjoyable and less pressurised time there and that he is more likely to get a good class of degree (2.1 or 1st) from the ex-poly - rather than a 2.2 from a Russell Group uni that he just scrapes into. So he is going to firm the ex-poly (he won't have/need an insurance as it is his lowest offer).

AIBU to want him to firm one of the more prestigious Russell Group unis and insure the former poly? DH says I am as it is DS' decision and he's the one who will be going to uni.

I would make it clear to him that it is his decision, but of course he should go to the university with the best reputation.

TBH, his attitude seems a bit on the slack side. Go to the ex poly because it will be easier to get a result ? That's no way to end up with a good quality degree.

Someone is going to be paying 10s of thousands for this (you or him?), and he is maybe going to be paying the debt off for years in the future. Serious money. Get the best degree at the uni with the best reputation that you can.

It absolutely has to be his decision.

It's his life and he will live with the consequences.

It does score highly for graduate employability and student satisfaction though.

And these are arguably the most important things to consider......

Ultimately it's your DSs choice.

get a good class of degree (2.1 or 1st) from the ex-poly - rather than a 2.2 from a Russell Group uni that he just scrapes into.

Is that how it works.

YANBU to have an opinion.

But it's his choice. His life. If he has all the info he needs. Then he decides and you support his decision.

It really depends.

Every job I've ever had wanted a degree. But they never cared where from, what in or what grade.

I've been involved in graduate recruitment. We always saw the university, but it did not influence the hiring decision in any way as we looked at the individual's performance at interview/selection centre.

There may be certain employers who do select based on uni but the majority don't. I

What are your reasons for not wanting him to go to his preferred uni?

When I was 18 I fell in love with a university and chose to go to the more prestigious one for the reputation. I dropped out, and then 2 years later went to the one I fell in love with and now live here with my partner and child. It's just a shame I have the extra student debt and wasted my time because I felt pressured into going to the more pretentious university.

Courses vary! It isn't always the case but the post 92 universities often have a more applied approach, more real world, even courses that sound more theoretical. They also often suit those who prefer a different learning style. Some of the post 92 universities are excellent now, without knowing which s d which course it's hard to say if it's highly ranked or not. Remember that the Russell group is simply a self styled club that 3 universities I know of refused to join as they didn't agree with the ethos, yes most the top universities are members but not all. The best university for an individual varies

He also reasons that he will have a more enjoyable and less pressurised time there and that he is more likely to get a good class of degree (2.1 or 1st) from the ex-poly - rather than a 2.2 from a Russell Group uni that he just scrapes into.
There again, he - an AAB student - is going to have to spend three years with people who have scraped to get into a BBC sort of place. Is that what he wants?

Having said that, if it is an ex-poly then it has been around a while and presumably has some sort of reputation.

Is it some sort of cry for help? Is he taking his foot off the pedal in the run-up to exams, giving himself permission to get BBC grades rather than the predicted AAB.

Nose out

"Is it some sort of cry for help? Is he taking his foot off the pedal in the run-up to exams, giving himself permission to get BBC grades rather than the predicted AAB."

I can see why you might think that @senua. But no, he got AAA in his mocks last month so he should make AAB which is his highest offer.

I'm offering advice FGS. I am not going to stand in his way - I know it is his decison

I went to Loughborough (20+ years ago now!) over other more prestigious unis for the exact reasons your son wants to go to his chosen uni. It was my lowest offer at BBC. I got AAB.
I have zero regrets.
Hasn't affected my job prospects at all. I have got nearly every job I have interviewed for (probably 95% success).

YABVU. He likes it, that’s where he feels he will be happy and he’s the one who’ll be experiencing it.

There is no more discussion to be had.

My son is in his final year at one of the top two. The experience has been amazing, the course less so. You are supposed to be so grateful to be there that you don't question it. No preparation for the world of work at all, dry essay after dry essay. No team work, no collaboration. Let him choose.

What job does he want at the end of this? It may or may not matter which university it is!

Do you want him happy or stressed?

Drop out rates are SO high. He can't risk being unhappy. The former poly is likely to have more resources in terms of student support/success/experience, as well as employability, including programmes and connections with employers. University now is not like it used to be, the more modern and innovative the better for the current job market.

I did the uni and course my parents coerced me into, hated it, and only now at 36 am I beginning to study in the course of my choice after suffering through a course and subsequent career/jobs I hated after that. Its a source of great contention between us, and I'll never forgive them for it. Now they say oh but it was your choice - but the pressure they put me under, the emotional black mail etc - no, 17 year old me did not have a choice.

You can offer your advice and opinion (non pushy), but its up to him how much of that he takes on board. And ultimately snd rightly, it'd his decision.

Depends really on who's paying for it.

If he is paying for it how he spends his god knows how many £ going to uni and either gets a result or wastes it is in his court.

But to me the idea that someone wants to go to a less reputable or easier place because they will get an easier ride seems to me to be a bit of an attitude problem and is some display of immaturity. You're not going to uni to get an easy ride. You're going there to get a valued qualification. Sure there is fun to be had in the downtime. But it's about the hard work first and the fun second. It has to be - it costs too much £ to throw away.

The easiest ride is not to bother going at all. Then you at least aren't £££££ down and have the chance of applying again in a few years when you've got your head straightened out on why you are applying and wanting to achieve the best result you are capable of. It would be a pain if he gets one year into the course and then decides it's too much like hard work and ends up with a load of debt and no result.

Enjoying University and being enthused about your course will likely lead to him doing better, which has better employment prospects than a lower grade at a "better" university. With the exception of the top few, University rankings change all the time too. The Uni I went to is ranked substantially differently now to when I studied there.
As an interviewer for my employer (Engineering), we don't really care in our industry where your degree is from. We've had Cambridge graduates who have been wholly unsuitable for the role and ex-poly grads who have thrived. What matters more is evidence they worked hard, they learned skills and relevant knowledge and they are the right fit with the right attitude for the employer. However this is my industry and not all are the same. For example that might be completely wrong for medicine.

It's his life decision. He will always resent you for choosing something that will affect his next three years or potential life. His reasonings are a bit off though 'more enjoyable and less pressurised time there and that he is more likely to get a good class of degree (2.1 or 1st) from the ex-poly - rather than a 2.2 from a Russell Group'. If he thinks that this is true then he is destined to do badly. There is nothing worse than being complacent and then failing.
Polies can be just or even more vigorous than Russells. My degree is accredited by the RIBA, who moderate and accredit all of the unis and therefore the standard is equal.
I have attended a poly and a russell group and the standard was no different. I found that lots of students lived at home in the poly, and they chose it for that reason, and had more of a 'go in, get the work done and go home' attitude rather than the red brick 'student life experience'. It was split maybe 50:50 local students in the poly.
It is totally dependant on the course too. There are some courses where everyone seems to get 80% and others where it isn't as common. Of course if you get a job in the industry related to the course they know what the average is for that field so the grade doesn't matter as much, it's just what is average for the field.

There is totally an advantage to going to a more prestigious uni!! Especially depending on the course. You get access to career fairs, the quality of employers that go there will be higher. You’ll go to an interview and the interviewer will also have gone to Oxford, you build that little connection etc etc. You get access to alumni networks/mentoring etc. Uni should be about securing a good job afterwards, the ex poly might be the right place for his course, or it might not.

I've worked in graduate studies admissions and for competitive graduate programs it DOES make a difference. All other things being equal, an applicant from a high ranking uni (for that subject) is going to get picked before an applicant before an applicant from a low ranking uni.

Nobody will be looking at his a-level results, so unless in his cover letter for grad programs he makes a compelling case for having actively chosen the low-ranking uni in order to work specifically with Professor Genevieve Blinkenhausen-Fustenberger on her groundbreaking work on protofeminist ant societies in Samoa, it will just look like he couldn't get into anywhere better.

But if he really wants to go to wherever he has chosen, you can't reall stop him. His life, his student loans.