To want DS to go to the best university?

[Oilrigger]

DS now has five offers from universities: three Russell Group, one a well-regarded uni but not RG and one a newer university (former poly years ago) offering him BBC (he is predicted AAB). The courses are pretty similar at all five unis (can't go into more detail because he would be furious if he found out I was posting on MN!).

He is adamant that he wants to go to the former poly because he likes it the most. He also reasons that he will have a more enjoyable and less pressurised time there and that he is more likely to get a good class of degree (2.1 or 1st) from the ex-poly - rather than a 2.2 from a Russell Group uni that he just scrapes into. So he is going to firm the ex-poly (he won't have/need an insurance as it is his lowest offer).

AIBU to want him to firm one of the more prestigious Russell Group unis and insure the former poly? DH says I am as it is DS' decision and he's the one who will be going to uni.

@Theoldwrinkley
As he didn’t go to Cardiff how would he know? Sounds like a massive chip developing. Maybe his happiness is down to his choices post degree. What are his problems that Warwick caused?

To be fair I know a few people who've been to Warwick and had bad experiences with courses/lecturers/lack of support.

DS did his degree and masters at Warwick. He chose it for the course content rather than location but, Covid restrictions apart, enjoyed his time there and is still in touch with the friends he made there.

I wanted DD to go to St Andrews but she rejected their offer due to location. I think if she had gone there we might have had similar conversations.

+1 @Oilrigger

That should have been @Theoldwrinkley not the OP

I'd also like to add that my DD has just done very well in exams at the end of her 1st semester despite chosing a lower ranked Uni. She worked hard & revised & is bright. Some kids do well wherever they go tbh .

Well done to your DD @DangerousAlchemy

Awww thanks @RampantIvy 😊

Congratulations to your DD. Does she have plans of what she’d like to do when she graduates.

@Parker231 she has no clue yet tbh. I'm just so pleased she's settled into uni life as she's quite introverted & struggles with some social anxiety. Really impressed with how she's handled herself since she left in September. She'll do a year in industry though in her 3rd year so hopefully that will give her a better idea of what she does (or doesn't) want to do 😁

@DangerousAlchemy Look at the other thread on that subject. It’s a slog to get a placement. The universities don’t have enough of them.

There's nothing wrong with being motivated by money, the issue is that a lot of lawyers people on MN seem to believe that it is the ONLY motivation worth having (not @TizerorFizz, I hasten to add, she has a much broader perspective than this). It's all a question of priorities, and everyone's are different. It's perfectly possible to earn large sums and still love what you do, just as it's possible to earn smaller sums and love what you do!

@DangerousAlchemy DD2 was doing a vocational course at a former poly and realised during her placement year that it wasn't her vocation at all 😂As you are clearly aware, ruling things out can be just as useful as ruling them in.

I know @TizerorFizz I'll check it out thanks. She doesn't have to worry about placements til her 2nd year so for now we're focusing on letting agent agreements & paying deposits for next year's house 😉 otherwise my brain just might explode....

Not sure why she wasted her time applying in the first place on that basis?

Reading some of these posts… stop the world; I want to get off!

She applied to St A as it’s one of the top places for her course and she was forecast to meet the grade requirements. She received offers from all those she applied to but after visiting St A again declined it as she thought it was too quiet for her

Fair enough!

'Except that the most academic children at 17/18 aren't de facto the most academic adults after 3 (or 4) years at university. That does not take into account the different teaching and learning styles at school v university, how some people thrive when they can narrow their studies down to a specific area while others might be better 'all-rounders' but aren't as well suited to really focusing in on one thing'

This is definitely true. There were some student in my university who weren't traditionally 'bright' i.e. their report writing and general grammar/speaking and articulating themselves wasn't great, but they were so fond of the subject that they did well. Or students that didn't get the best marks have done amazingly once they got to work anyway. I am an architect and it is a fairly vocational job anyway, which suits different people.

Sorry, I am mistaken, it was Diagnostic Radiography that is only offered in Salford and not Manchester or Manchester Met.

I think a MAJOR thing that people forget is even if you get 4 A*s, get a 1st from Oxbridge and land/interview for a prestigious job you are unlikely to get it or even advance through your career if you are introverted/socially awkward/too nice/too nasty etc.
Advancing through certain or most careers has nothing to do with academics. It is your personality/bringing in clients/presenting yourself etc. Whatever is deemed important in your sector. Even the best doctor might not be suited if they have a horrendous bedside manner and don't actual care about thier patient's wellbeing. A highly intelligent lawyer may not progress if they haven't got a lot of confidence etc.