Who is being unreasonable ?

[Grouchymardybum25]

I have a step DC who is young primary school aged, he lives full time with us and has 3, 2 hour supervised contacts a month and one supervised over night a month.
he had fallen in a puddle one contact when on over night stay so they had bought him some clothes now sometimes he turns up in them from over night contact and we just rotate clothes so they go on his pile etc
we dress him and send change of clothes in any of the clothes we have. She has made contacted demanding the clothes she has bought be returned to her as his only allowed them during contact ? I can’t get my head around this ? Like I can’t understand why he needed 2 scooters because she bought one for his birthday but only allowed to play with it there, so then we had to buy him one for Christmas. We bought him a bike and he uses it at both.
AIBU to think it’s pathetic ?

The scooter is no issue, and totally understandable. The clothes, yes I agree shouldn't be a problem. But quite clearly there are issues here with such restricted supervised visits. There's much bigger fish to fry than just giving her the clothes back.

You're doing a wonderful thing OP. If you're happy to keep accommodating contact, please do.

For two hours?

Let me get this straight:

The mum bought some clothes for him and sent him home to you in them. You wash them and then send him to hers wearing them when he visits her? If it’s this then no - yanbu - however, if she has to have supervised contact with her son she is clearly having problems and as others said, I would pick your battles. Just send him to hers dressed in some cheap clothes with the outfit she bought in a bag.

Dont make it about a tussle between you and her - be the bigger person.

Why is there any changing involved at all? 2 hour contact op hands over the bag with the clothes in and job is done! The were never meant to be at ops house, they ended up there because he fell in a puddle!

That's madness isn't it

@ZeroFuchsGiven because the moms a weirdo. OP is saying she's expecting him to change into 'her' clothes for the 2 hour visits, which is utterly bizarre:

OP please ignore the majority of these replies. It's actually winding me up.

It's a bloody faff for you and in the kindest way possible, DC will (later if not now) pick up on bizarre things like 'clothes only for mummy's house' BUT all you can do is continue to facilitate this ludicrous behaviour because ultimately you have to put DC first and you don't want to strain their relationship. You're not wrong for finding it frustrating or ridiculous, sounds like you bare a lot of the brunt of this arrangement too. You should be allowed to vent without being made out to be Cruella D'evil.

It's really not a clear cut situation and sympathies, it's draining.

No they were bought for him because he fell in a puddle 🤣 up until this point there was never any clothes bought for him at all.

You don't think it's an issue telling a kid no they can't have something at dad's because they have one at mums?

The clothes thing is strange. I would go along with it, but equally I think it’s better if they just come and go in whatever clothes they have - as long as everyone ends up with the clothes they need for the dc to have something suitable to wear.

The scooter - I think it makes sense to have one each of big items like this - even though my exh doesn’t seem to agree and doesn’t buy any such things for his house!

Because he can ride scooter better for one !
also they have scooter racks at school not bike ones

oh I don’t even know why I’m justifying buying a scooter 🤣

Wow Mumsnet really does hate step parents don't they?

OP she is being completely ridiculous, but as others have said this might just not be the hill to die on. Grit your teeth and go along with it for the sake of keeping the peace, soon enough the child will be old enough to be choosing his own clothes and saying no to having to get changed multiple times in a 2 hour period to keep his mum happy.

🤣

OP said he'll need to change multiple times for the 2 hour visits

I don't get why mum is being prioritised over the kid

Thats nice. There are obviously reasons why contact is supervised, why is she a weirdo for wanting some of her childs things to stay with her?

Shock- woman who sees her kid for 6 hours a month doesn’t have his best interests at heart and acts unreasonably???

She is clearly an arse in many ways, don’t engage with the nonsense and send the clothes back, keep calm and carry on doing her job every day. 🌸

Yes please stop justifying.

To the poster who can't see the faff in a bike over a scooter? Clearly all the children you know are Olympian riders because taking my kids out on scooters is MUCH easier than on a freaking bike.

Again, OP YANBU.

But if they stay at her house the only way he would ever get to wear them without bringing them back to our house 3 weeks our if 4 is by changing for 2 hours and again. Which as I have said is fine I take opinions on board still find it strange.