So upset, not sure what to do

[Moonstarssunsky]

Posting here for traffic.
I'm not sure what to do over a stray cat I've been feeding etc.

I had my own cat until a few months ago when she sadly passed away. Before she passed however, a stray cat started to visit our garden and play with my cat.

The stray cat 'Tom' was so thin that we'd feed him everyday and provided shelter outside for him. We couldn't get close enough to get him into a cat carrier to take him to the vets.
After our Molly died, Tom became more confident with us and started to come into the house and stay overnight.

He put on weight and started to look healthy again. It was still difficult though trying to entice him into a cat carrier in order to check if he was chipped after all. He.was'nt neutered though, hence why we presumed he wasn't chipped either.
I recently borrowed a different kind of carrier to the one we already had, in the hope that it'd be easier to get Tom into it. Just to say, he's not the type of cat you can pick up easily.

Fast forward to yesterday, I was looking out the window and saw a young man walking past my house carrying Tom tightly in his arms. I ran out to speak to the man and saw that Tom was struggling to get free and was very distressed.
The man claimed that Tom was his cat and that he was taking him home as he hadn't seen him for some time.

I explained that we'd been caring for Tom and were gaining his confidence in us and that we'd love to keep him and get him checked and neutered at the vets.

The man was adamant however that Tom was his family pet, but admitted that he'd not been chipped. He said that his family were going to chip the cat immediately, and added that he'd make Tom into an indoor cat just so that he doesn't try to come back to me and my family.
The man let slip his house number (which was much further down the road) and hurried off with the cat still distressed.

I'm angry at myself for not trying to get Tom out of his arms, but I was concerned about repercussions if I did so. I'm also angry with myself for not ensuring we'd taken Tom to the vets sooner. I've no excuses for that, other than I was trying to gain his trust and needed the right carrier along with help from someone else to force him into the carrier if necessary.
A while after Tom was taken, my Dd and I visited the house where he's at and were told basically to go away (not very politely) once again, and that they'd be keeping the cat inside from now on.

I don't know what to do now. I'd love to offer money for Tom but I don't know whether to leave it for a while, as i.dont want to push things with this family.

They also have a few other cats (according to the going man) and so now I'm so upset that Tom is living with other pets and isn't happy there. If he was he wouldn't have left.
Sorry for rambling.

It’s not your cat. Stop it. I say this as someone who had an actual stray who did not have another home. This cat does. Imagine if someone had just stolen Molly from you. Stop it.

You can’t just steal someone else’s cat?! Are you mental??

And I'm sorry but this is bollocks too.

If you were concerned about his diet you never would've fed him in case he has any allergies.

And you never would've stopped him going home (which you did by feeding him) in case he missed out on any meds he might desperately need.

My old cat was diabetic and on two injections a day. You would've killed him if you'd done this.

Carry on feeding Tom when he visits you. But accept he’s not your cat.

Not in England or Wales...in the US most cities mandate a "license" but compliance is probably like 50%. I forgot how much you Brits love the government being in every aspect of your lives.

Lets hope none of your neighbours has any skinny children walking around the area.

I put an ad on social media and put flyers through loads of doors (didn't quite post on them right down the far side of the road though) and as he looked as if he was starving I fed him.

I understand how you feel and 8d have felt the same. I don't see what you can do though. It seems the cat is his. Maybe he'll just keep him in for a while then let him out if he seems miserable. Try not to worry. I'd assume the cat is a loved family pet and won't be mistreated.

Do not carry on feeding ‘Tom’ for all the reasons from PPs.

Yeh being able to return a dog to its owner if they get lost/stolen is the same as the government being in every aspect of our lives.

Thank you, I hope he will be treated properly.

You can't you take someones cat or offer to buy it. If you're genuinely concerned for the cats well-being and have adequate reasons to believe he's being neglected then phone the RSPCA.

It's very sad what happened to your own car but go to a shelter and rescue another. Don't knock on a strangers door asking for theirs!

Cat not car*

I find it really weird that posters think property ownership trumps animal welfare.

1. the property cat was malnourished
2. the cat was unhappy or would have stayed where he was
3. 'indoor cats' are cats who aren't allowed to exercise their natural instincts
4. Worse, this cat has been free to roam but will now be imprisoned so that the 'owners' can maintain their property rights

My idiot neighbour started feeding my cat in order to steal him too.

Stupid woman cost me hundreds in vet fees as he was on a specific diet.

You can't just take a shine to someone else's property and decide you're keeping it.

You can feel sorry for the cat for being stuck indoors, but it's your fault, you've made it clear to the owners you want the cat.

It's also pretty weird how you put fliers through people's doors, but didn't quite reach their house.

yeah, it's not surprising you can't see the difference between the utilitarian benefit of chips and being mandated by the government to chip your dog. Like I said, you love the government in your lives lol.

@ElonsMusky it is illegal not to chip your dog, but you already knew that.

You've not been able to get close to him in months despite feeding him, yet he manages to get close enough and then picks the cat up immediately?

Yeah, that's his cat you want to steal.

Get your own.

Of course is not 'weird' regarding their house not getting a flyer. I've already said it was MUCH further down the road where they live.
And it's pretty nasty of you to say it's my fault. I didn't steak the cat. I believed he was a stray because he was so bloody thin!
I apologize I gave food to a starving cat . Ffs

Steal not steak obviously

I would keep my cat inside from now on if you were trying to steal him too. I absolutely do not understand why people do this. Cats have a right to roam. Don't feed any cat that isn't yours. If it's injured, contact a cat rescue sure, but don't just feed a random cat that's not yours. Makes me so angry 😠

S’not your cat, mate.

Thank you. I agree with you.

Seems it's not about the welfare and the happiness of the cat, it's all about who 'has a claim to it first'

Look, you’ve done your best by the cat, according to you. Now the owner has found his cat you need accept that the cat has gone. Yes, sad for you but not your concern any longer.

My cat ia reaally skinny and small - she's always been that way!! She eats a normal amount. Some cats are just like that/fussy/have an illness you dont know about. Why dont you adopt your own cat?