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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give up my Playmobil and cut cousins hands off if she tries to take it?

378 replies

Qantaqa · 19/03/2023 13:15

Ok Ok .. the last part is possibly U....

I have an extensive collection of playmobil which has been boxed up for many years. I briefly got it out 10 years ago when my DSs were 7/8ish but after a particularly traumatising incident where they broke some I boxed it all back up and put it away and never got it back out. I say this to show that my attachment to it is frankly ridiculous.

My cousins daughter is 6. She is in many ways an mini version of me at that age and I adore her and obviously indulge her and am silly with her in ways her parents can't be. I (obviously) have been buying her Playmobil for birthdays and Xmas which she loves. My collection came up in a discussion at a birthday meal recently and cousins daughter asked if she could come over and play. I said it was boxed away and that was it.

Except it isn't. Cousin has asked about "getting some sets for her DC since I aren't using it". I've politely said various versions of no with excuses, but this morning I had this message,

Hey Q. Any more thoughts over the Playmobile? DC is beside herself with excitement ay the thought of having some of yours! We are out for Mothers Day this afternoon but I'll give you a bell later. xx

Clearly I need a stronger "No over my dead body" response but having moaned mentioned this to DM at lunch she thinks IABU to not "pass it down".

DB thinks I should just go buy a box off Facebook and hand that over which I am considering.

So AIBU to want to keep my Playmobil?

OP posts:
TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 19/03/2023 15:32

Whatisthisanyidea · 19/03/2023 15:26

What she cannot understand - what no-one can understand - is that I don't get any joy from watching other people play with it - I just get anxious and stressed

Well maybe look at it from cousins POV - her 6 year old is excited and the thought of playing with you - she may well be nagging her mum constantly to come over and play and cousin is just messaging from there - Maybe cousin has told 6 year old over and over that you don’t let anyone play and the 6 year old knows she’s special to you.

Weve all been there with kids nagging.

Nonsense - the cousin has actively led her child to believe that OP will give her the playmobil. Clear case of emotional blackmail, given OP has already said NO.

Lovelynondriver · 19/03/2023 15:33

YANBU

My nephew was like this with my Harry Potter books and my Lego. He borrowed it. Then sold it all the year after and used the money to pay for a PlayStation game.

He didn't think he had done anything wrong. My Dbro didn't give a hoot and my SIL thought it was hilarious.

Don't do it OP x

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 19/03/2023 15:33

AgathaMystery · 19/03/2023 15:26

I think…. I think it’s a bit weird. Not gonna lie.

It’s a bit sad that it’s better for it to sit in boxes than ever be used again. I couldn’t have something just stored away like that.

disclaimer: one of my parents is a hoarder so I don’t allow any ‘stuff’ that isn’t used. We all have our issues I guess.

Try to contain your sadness.
The playmobil makes OP happy, just where it is.

That is all you need to understand.

MereDintofPandiculation · 19/03/2023 15:34

burnoutbabe · 19/03/2023 13:32

If it's all boxed does it have value? Check eBay out?

Then you can use it as an excuse-it's collectible and will be funding your retirement!

Not as much value as you might expect.

thelongroad · 19/03/2023 15:36

This has got me really annoyed for you, OP.

It doesn't matter what the collection is. It really, really, really doesn't.
It's yours, and you don't have to let anyone else play with it, look at it, or do anything at all with it. And it's totally up to you what you do with it too - even if it's sitting in a box somewhere. That's absolutely fine. It's not "sad" - as a PP pointed out, most collections are not being used for the original purpose!

IncompleteSenten · 19/03/2023 15:38

Laughing it off only goes so far.

If she continues to push it you may have to eventually drop the jokey veneer and be very direct.

I've told you no several times. They're just toys to you but it's an important collection to me and I'm not giving it away. Some people collect coins, stamps, (insert other collection stuff my minds gone blank). My collection happens to be Playmobil but that doesn't make it fair game. Don't ask me again.

Blossomandbee · 19/03/2023 15:39

thelongroad · 19/03/2023 15:36

This has got me really annoyed for you, OP.

It doesn't matter what the collection is. It really, really, really doesn't.
It's yours, and you don't have to let anyone else play with it, look at it, or do anything at all with it. And it's totally up to you what you do with it too - even if it's sitting in a box somewhere. That's absolutely fine. It's not "sad" - as a PP pointed out, most collections are not being used for the original purpose!

This is exactly what I was about to write. It's yours, you don't owe it to another child to play with or have to justify yourself in any way. Her parents can buy her Playmobil if they're so keen for her to have it.

whumpthereitis · 19/03/2023 15:43

I don’t know what’s so difficult to get. You don’t personally need to be sentimental to understand that other people are, and it’s not some inherently inferior way to be.

I’m not sentimental either, but it doesn’t take much in the way of either brain cells or imagination to comprehend that your preferred way of doing things does not in fact need to be that of everyone. Ironically, those thinking they’re highlighting a failing in OP are in fact parading their own.

DaisyBoop · 19/03/2023 15:44

I don’t think it’s irrational at all to have something that you’re attached to. I’ve still got my baby blanket in my underwear drawer and I’ll never part with it. DS was never even allowed to sleep with it 😆 Don’t go buying a pretend set from a charity shop, you’ve every right just to say no.

Somethingneedstochange78 · 19/03/2023 15:47

Why are you so keen to keep it in pristine condition? I loved seeing my own children nephews and neice playing with toy's that I used to play with. My daughter's favourite doll was one that used to be mine I cut her hair.😂😂😂 I don't see the point of hoarding toys never to have them played with again. Are you wanting to sell it all on for profit? Who will you pass it onto?

Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 19/03/2023 15:49

tealandteal · 19/03/2023 13:20

Just say “Haha, I’ll leave it to her in my will”

Do this.

Or say, “I didn’t let me own kids play with it, so no. Don’t ask again.”

DeanStockwooooo · 19/03/2023 15:52

Don't do it !
My DB collects matchbox cars and has done since he was a young kid , he played with them as a child as did I but we were careful with them .

Once he got in to his late teens they were boxed ( mostly in their original boxes) and put on display.
Our young cousin always wanted to play with them and after mutch badgering from cousin and our parents DB reluctatly consented to let him play with a few .
Cousin had a screaming fit when DB tried to take them back when cousin was going home ( cousin 10yrs old and it was made very clear he was not keeping them before they were lent out )
So cousin ended up been able to keep them and take them home , a few weeks later were were at cousins house and asked he wanted to get the cars out so he and DB could play together, 3 of the 5 cars had been thrown away because they were badly damaged, the other 2 were badly scratched / wheels missing.

LolaSmiles · 19/03/2023 15:53

She's being really rude. It's your item. Whether it's a Playmobil or another collection or any other item. You don't get to demand and pressurise people into giving things to you.

Some people are presumptuous and rude.

LoveQuinnOhDearyMe · 19/03/2023 15:54

No, I completely get you OP, because I actually have a huge collection of playmobil from childhood myself (think the mansion house plus furniture, the school, the police and fire stations, the hospital, the farm, tons of smaller sets and more). It’s in plastic clip lock boxes in my parents house loft. My sister has taken some of hers for my nieces and I plan on having it for my children and my children only. In fact my dream is to have a spare room so it can be permanently set up 😀😀

I guess it just holds the memories of childhood and the fact that my entire family (grandparents, parents, and other relatives) all contributed to the collection, and sadly many are now gone, makes it so special. I can tell you exactly who gave me most of it and whether it was birthday or Christmas.

We are all allowed to hold on to something special.

Just apologise and say no, or maybe a token of a few people and something small from it (ive got a few doubles for example have you got anything twice?)

ill back you all the way!

SD1978 · 19/03/2023 15:55

They asked, the answer is no. It's yours and you can do without (or nothing with it) as you wish. She needs to stop asking.

whumpthereitis · 19/03/2023 15:55

Somethingneedstochange78 · 19/03/2023 15:47

Why are you so keen to keep it in pristine condition? I loved seeing my own children nephews and neice playing with toy's that I used to play with. My daughter's favourite doll was one that used to be mine I cut her hair.😂😂😂 I don't see the point of hoarding toys never to have them played with again. Are you wanting to sell it all on for profit? Who will you pass it onto?

How’s that relevant to OP? She’s not you, and her preferences don’t need to be the same as yours. She doesn’t need to explain or justify herself either.

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 19/03/2023 15:56

Somethingneedstochange78 · 19/03/2023 15:47

Why are you so keen to keep it in pristine condition? I loved seeing my own children nephews and neice playing with toy's that I used to play with. My daughter's favourite doll was one that used to be mine I cut her hair.😂😂😂 I don't see the point of hoarding toys never to have them played with again. Are you wanting to sell it all on for profit? Who will you pass it onto?

It doesn't matter why. Nobody else needs to understand how or why other people enjoy their own possessions.

SoShallINever · 19/03/2023 15:57

Wow, your cousin has led the child to believe that the toys are going to be given to her? What an absolute CF she is. It also awful that your DM appears to be supporting her.
They are your heirlooms/momentoes just the same as if they were gold necklaces or old autographed books. The fact that they are toys does not change anything.They are yours and she has no right to demand your belongings.
I would send a text saying "Hi cousin, i don't think you understand how much these toys mean to me, I didnt even let my own kids play with them and I won't be parting with them. Its a shame you've led DN to believe she can have them".

LostFrog · 19/03/2023 15:57

YANBU, but please can I come and play? I will be v careful.
my DM threw away all my toys and books, I am 45 and still haven’t forgiven her

Bobblemymind · 19/03/2023 15:59

I had a small collection of boxed Playmobil. It was on a shelf in the spare room. My nephews (4&6) stayed over and ripped open every box and scattered all of the pieces around. I am still sad about it.

ShandaLear · 19/03/2023 16:02

You just say, ‘No, they’re collectors items l and I’m not letting kids get their greasy mitts all over them. I didn’t even let my own kids play with them’ and ‘ you’re out of line for telling your kid she could play with them when I hadn’t agreed to it. You’ll need to tell her no because it’s not happening so don’t ask again’.

Thisgirlcan21 · 19/03/2023 16:04

I would reply,
I think I politely declined this offer.
she may not have noticed but I am a child in an adult body. I have a slight playmobil obsession and can’t cope with children touching it hence my own children were banned. Happy to buy her some though!

Isthisreasonable · 19/03/2023 16:04

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 19/03/2023 14:28

Hey Q. Any more thoughts over the Playmobile? DC is beside herself with excitement ay the thought of having some of yours! We are out for Mothers Day this afternoon but I'll give you a bell later. xx

"What do you mean - any more thoughts? I've already said no, several times. Why have you told DN this is happening? Is it to guilt-trip me into giving in to you?"

This response with knobs on. The promising it to dc is enough to dismiss the request out of hand. Stay strong OP, it's yours and she has no say over it whatsoever.

Ludo19 · 19/03/2023 16:11

Berthatydfil · 19/03/2023 13:22

Give me some of your savings - after all money is meant to be spent

Show quote history

😂😂😂😂

picklemewalnuts · 19/03/2023 16:11

The message you've written is good, OP. You could add a sentence about "planning to display it when DSs have left home".

People have doll/lego/china collections displayed. Men (mainly) have train sets. There's no reason you can't have a display too.