To not give up my Playmobil and cut cousins hands off if she tries to take it?

[Qantaqa]

Ok Ok .. the last part is possibly U....

I have an extensive collection of playmobil which has been boxed up for many years. I briefly got it out 10 years ago when my DSs were 7/8ish but after a particularly traumatising incident where they broke some I boxed it all back up and put it away and never got it back out. I say this to show that my attachment to it is frankly ridiculous.

My cousins daughter is 6. She is in many ways an mini version of me at that age and I adore her and obviously indulge her and am silly with her in ways her parents can't be. I (obviously) have been buying her Playmobil for birthdays and Xmas which she loves. My collection came up in a discussion at a birthday meal recently and cousins daughter asked if she could come over and play. I said it was boxed away and that was it.

Except it isn't. Cousin has asked about "getting some sets for her DC since I aren't using it". I've politely said various versions of no with excuses, but this morning I had this message,

Hey Q. Any more thoughts over the Playmobile? DC is beside herself with excitement ay the thought of having some of yours! We are out for Mothers Day this afternoon but I'll give you a bell later. xx

Clearly I need a stronger "No over my dead body" response but having moaned mentioned this to DM at lunch she thinks IABU to not "pass it down".

DB thinks I should just go buy a box off Facebook and hand that over which I am considering.

So AIBU to want to keep my Playmobil?

Your response was great OP. I like DS having my old teddies that I can't bear to throw away, in fact I have some to my niece and nephew before him too. You don't want to get them out even for your own kids, and that's fine too. You might feel better able to do it with grandchildren, or your great-grandchildren might get them in the end when you're gone.

I think you need to be more explicit about the irrational personal connection so she gets it's different from your kids' playmobil.

Hi cousin - you'll prob think it's ridiculous but my own playmobil has got incredible sentimental importance to me - to the degree that I couldn't actually let the DC play with it. Sorry if DN will be disappointed, I did try to explain!

I like your message idea 😂
I am similar in that I would give away my kids duplo but not my own. My dad kept it for me. My children played with it along with some of their own and I now want to keep it for potential grandchildren. It holds happy memories. It doesn’t matter what others say or if it’s boxed up forever more. It’s yours to deal with as you feel happiest

the cousin is being very rude.

Eee some people have more front than Blackpool! If her daughter is upset she’s only got herself to blame for presuming she can take other peoples stuff!

I would feel the same as you OP. It's part of your childhood. You wouldn't be expected to give up a much loved teddy bear for it to be destroyed loved by someone else.

I've got a dolls house, not a play thing and my niece knows not to touch and she will get it after my days or as she used to tell people "When Auntie dies I can touch her dolls house".

They could bury it with you? I suppose they'd need a very big coffin.

If my husband is doing the dying duck act I tell him my plans for a skip when he dies. It's amazing how quickly he revives. To be fair it isn't just Playmobil with him and I'll need a very big skip.

Bingo!!

Things aren't wasted just because some kid isn't playing with them.

OP, just tell her it's a treasured collection and you don't take it out of its boxes. Her daughter will survive.

You're absolutely right that op doesn't need to do anything with them she doesn't want to do, but like pp if question if there's something deeper, just like I would a man storing all his toys away not for collectors items bit because he gets anxiety at the thought of someone touching them.

Most people keep stiff either for the kids to use or to sell at a profit, not because they come out in hives at the thought of them being touched.

Doesn't mean op has to explore that emotional reaction but that doesn't mean it's unrealistic to this the response is indicative of bigger issues

thats so horrible, sorry :/

Woman says NO to CF.

Entire thread blows up with either unnecessary psychoanalysis, or urgings to ignore her own wishes & give the CF what she wants.

This.

It is yours - you get joy from knowing it is your possession and even if you are being irrational THAT IS YOUR RIGHT.

Tell her you'll leave it to your niece in your will.

😂

Just another in a long line of threads where women are guilted into abolishing their boundaries, abandoning preferences and giving up privacy/personal possessions because some entitled kid and/or parent comes along and wants them to.

It's really tiresome. OP is well within her rights to have a private collection; the nature of the objects is irrelevant. (And many, many adults collect toys, children's books, model cars, etc.; there are entire mini-industries built around such collectors.)

It's not weird or irrational, and shame on those who are characterizing it that way.

DS2 broke the leg of the Gnu

He did WHAT!!!!! 😦

Exactly. We're all supposed to bow down at their slightest whim, because "chldren."

That's the only "irrational" thought process on display here.

Quote: “One Christmas I was disappointed as after opening presents I hadn't received any Playmobil other than a woman and pram for the Victorian House. Only to discover when I went into the play room that actually I had got the passenger train set and dad had build a track like that just for me table, up a long incline over the door and window and back down on to the table!”

These toys hold very special memories for you and if you want to keep it squirrelled away then do. There is no shortage of playmobil. Plenty available including second hand. You are not depriving anybody. Anybody worried about your relatives lack of playmobil can buy her some.

Anyone who has read mumsnet long enough would not be at all surprised to find that after you have broke your heart giving it away she later sells it on as her daughter “wasn’t playing with it anymore”. It’s important to you so keep it.

Totally get where you are coming from op. I have also have a ‘collection’ of Retro toys, are ‘now’ not to be touched or played with by anyone.

This is after the childhood toys that I did still have in my possession were allowed to be played with (with a view of keeping hold of for many years to come) got completely and absolutely destroyed by said child.

I eventually replaced them and added to it over the years, but vowed never to let them be played with again, and they aren’t. Most people don’t get it but my attachment to them is what other people would consider irrational.But the fact is is nothing to do with anybody else, nobody else has to understand it.

It’s a collection I love to own and dd has said she will take care of it after I’m long gone as she knows it’s part of who i am.

Exactly!

I have some beautiful china that I never use because DH and DC think it is old-fashioned and horrible but I keep it because I love it.

And I don't need to use it because it keeps me happy because I KNOW IT IS THERE.

And it's MINE.

I have always liked Bill , I could listen to him all day .
I don't know much about the sylvanian family but I know they are much sought after

But this has just put Bill even higher on my 'he is a good guy ' poll 😚

I’m in my fifties. I still have my Daisy Doll, and my small Pippa’s, her kitchen and horse, came out about twenty five years ago, horse got broken and was swiftly put away. I admire them from time to time in the loft and I’m not letting anyone else play with them.

id get a FB, eBay box and let that be and end to it. If asked for more say no.

Personally I don’t understand the joy of storing old toys. However that’s irrelevant. You get joy from it and so those play mobile sets are important to you and not something you want a young child playing with.

In my opinion , rather than a jokey set you should just send a serious honest one. She obviously hasn’t taken the hint so far. Something like…
”I’m really sorry but I just don’t like the thought of children playing with my sets. I let DS play with some when he was younger and some ended up broke. So I have decided to keep them stored rather than get them out to play with. I know it must sound a bit OTT to you, but I just bloody love those sets and would be upset if something got broke. There are loads of old sets on eBay though. Shall I have a look and see if there are any nice retro ones I can buy for DN and being round to play with her”.

I think your message is good but the jokey tone might mean she still won’t take you seriously. I think you need to tell her this straight.

I wouldn't be apologetic or say "it sounds OTT to you..." in a self-effacing way. the OP has nothing to justify or apologize for.

As a pp said, something like "Why do you keep asking and raising DN's expecations when I've told you my collection is off limits to the kids??? There are plenty of sets on eBay."

I feel your pain. My ED had lots of PM. And I kept all of it. Except we were moving country, and I had no where to store it. I also had a friend with children much younger than mine. So I asked my 22 year old daughter if she minded if I passed it on. She said I could. I have to say though, the kids I passed it on to play with it all the time. My friend sends me pictures of the latest goings on. So, it’s being played with, and loved some more, and that makes me happy.