DSS Brought random girl home

[HappyMothersDayLadiesofMN]

DSS 17 is away college
Come home for the weekend as usual and went out drinking. At 2.30 made an almighty racket coming in drunk which woke us up
After 15 minutes we could hear him having sex. He'd brought a girl home.
After 30 minutes of this they came out of the room to the bathroom next to my bedroom giggling. By now I was bloody annoyed so I jumped out of bed and went out of the room. He's in his boxers she's naked going into the bathroom.
I told him to keep it down and that they were taking the piss. He apologised and said they were going to bed. I said I've heard you "being in bed" for the last half an hour.
We have no idea who this girl is. AIBU to be cheesed off. I found it massively disrespectful, not only did they wake us up which happens a lot when he goes out but to bring a strange girl home and have noisy sex then walk around undressed outside our room. What if DH had gone to speak to them. My DD was in bed in the room next to them too.

Is this acceptable for teenage boys?

All normal teenage behaviour, might as well enjoy it before he's completely bugged down by responsibility, work and family. We were all selfish at this age its just part of growing up, it will pass.

I can't believe people are so relaxed about this. It's not a flat share, it's a family home. Totally unacceptable. Tell him in future to take his one night stands to a hotel. A girlfriend is different, but some random he's picked up...no, that's not how you treat your parents home.

Oh come on. I was drinking at 17 amd going to clubs. I would never EVER bring someone home without asking and have them wandering about naked. That's not acceptable at all. At 17 you have to 'let'your child drink because if you didn't they'd do it anyway but stay elsewhere and be potentially less safe. Aside from the sex stuff. If he's going out he needs to be quiet coming in if there are other peoples in the house. That's just polite. You're not unreasonable at all and the fact he is not mortified is weird. Time for your partner to take the reigns and set some ground rule. When he's living elsewhere he can do what he wants until then he does have to respect your rules.

I will not have strangers sleeping in my house without me even being asked first. I don't care if ss is 17, or 47. I expected to be able to walk around my own home knowing exactly who is there. If they don't like it they can lump it.

Yuk how disrespectful. Couldn't they have got a hotel room instead of inflicting it on the rest of the house.
Would her parents have liked it if they'd gone there?

How things have changed and not for the better.

Wasn't she ashamed?🙄god I'd be mortified crashing into someone's house like that when I hadn't even met their parents and diving straight into bed.

Remember the saying bringing a girl home to meet mum and dad, now they don't care, just jump straight into bed. Not nice. YANBU.

Unacceptable
A relationship is one thing but one night stand. No

@dottypotter changed since when?
that was not particularly noteworthy when I was 17, 30 years ago.
the sex noises and nudity is a bit much, I’d have a word about being a bit more private and respectful, but he’s just enjoying being a young un!

I’ve had an older than him son bring home a random girl. Also young man of a friend do the same. They were quiet but I did not like it. It’s my house, don’t want random people in here without a bit of forward thinking by them. Didn’t say anything in those cases. But if they had done what your two got up to, I would be fuming. Sit him down and explain basic courtesy of where he’s gone wrong with this.

Totally agree

Hope you had a good day and caught up on sleep.

Missing point of thread, but this did make me a smile, as you explained this is slightly out of character, they were obviously happy giggling, though understand the timing made it especially annoying.

We didn't all do that , some had more respect for their parents and the rest of the household.

My house, my rules. If you don't like them go elsewhere. My children don't always like it but they respect this. Give it a try, you will sleep better.

This is easily sortable , tell him no one night stands allowed ! Sorry but that’s not ok

No it isn't. I was a bit of a early starter in terms of drinking/going to over 18's clubs etc but I would never have done this.

Its clearly the coming home for the weekend that is usual not the drinking. I think you've misread

@BumpySkull your lack of reading comprehension makes me cringe for you. Have you ever parsed a sentence? You need a class in basic grammar skills, especially on conjunctions.

I had someone stay for a few days for a wedding, (she asked), she was the on/off x of a friend. They are still together She brought a random guy back to our house for a shag!!
I opened my bedroom door to come face to face with this random man!! I pointed him to her room. I wish I had told him to get the fuck out. They proceeded to have loud sex. The next morning, after I asked him to leave as soon as he came downstairs, she thought it was all rather funny until I told her it was very uncool and that I was very pissed off. Asked her why the fuck didn't she go back to his place!!! My kids were in the house.
I was hosting a dinner for the wedding couple and friends that night, so kicking her out would have caused a big scene, so didn't. I regret that. I haven't spoken to her since.
In my house, my daughters, 21, 19 are not allowed to bring randoms back. No fucking way. No chance!
I would be very very pissed off with him. I would have firm words with his Father, and call a family meeting to set some ground rules.
Good luck.

I'm actually shocked at some of the responses in this thread saying this is standard teenage behaviour.
I'm only 34 and was a wild enough teen but never would I have done something like this. The thought of parents having to hear their children have sex is actually vile to me. Long term girlfriends or boyfriends staying over... fine. But I absolutely do not want to hear anyone having sex in my house, very least of all my children.
In your shoes OP (and I have a young teenage boy so I hope I'm never in your shoes), I would have literally barged into the room, cut the shit completely, told the girl in no uncertain terms to get the fuck out of my house and my son would be seriously reprimanded in any way possible. The fact that there is a 9 year old in the house makes it so much worse. This is not, and should not be seen as, normal! 🤯

I agree with you. And I was wild too, I'd never disrespect my parents like this

Genuine question here, am I out of touch on this? Why is it disrespectful to a consenting adult who chooses to have a one night stand? She would have known it was your house, no? No 17 year old would have the house of an adult?

This. I’m 34 with an almost 17 year old. I want to say it’s because I’m protective and don’t want him doing what I did. But it’s not. He’s popular and happy, but would never even think of doing this. To be honest, the drinking to that degree isn’t a culture in his school either though. This would never be a situation though, I honestly find it weird 17 year olds bringing people home. It’s blatantly mum and dad’s, you’re still in education, don’t treat it as a shag pad.

Agree. There is zero chance a teenager would be bringing back people to shag, whether one night stand or LTR.

That's the privilege of adults who earn and operate their own households.

Agree with the suggestion of a sit down conversation during proper waking hours with some ground rules. If he's old enough to have sex, he's old enough to talk about it and do things respectfully. Likely chatting with his Dad is the right way forward.

I wouldn't allow randoms in my home, especially with other dc there. Too many risks and I don't think it's respectful. Every parent has to figure this out for their own home. I had friends whose parents were 100% fine with it and friends whose parents would absolutely not have been and it would never have happened. It is your home & your rules. Before you chat with DSS, you and your partner need to make sure you both agree on what the house rules will be, especially with the complication it is your DSS and not your DS. These rules should apply to all dc when they are teens/adults.

I don't think you are asking too much @HappyMothersDayLadiesofMN

I don’t see where OP days he drinks frequently? I see where she says he comes home and goes goes out often…. Genuinely don’t see the part where she says he drinks frequently though. Did she say that? Where?