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AIBU?

DSS Brought random girl home

203 replies

HappyMothersDayLadiesofMN · 19/03/2023 08:26

DSS 17 is away college
Come home for the weekend as usual and went out drinking. At 2.30 made an almighty racket coming in drunk which woke us up
After 15 minutes we could hear him having sex. He'd brought a girl home.
After 30 minutes of this they came out of the room to the bathroom next to my bedroom giggling. By now I was bloody annoyed so I jumped out of bed and went out of the room. He's in his boxers she's naked going into the bathroom.
I told him to keep it down and that they were taking the piss. He apologised and said they were going to bed. I said I've heard you "being in bed" for the last half an hour.
We have no idea who this girl is. AIBU to be cheesed off. I found it massively disrespectful, not only did they wake us up which happens a lot when he goes out but to bring a strange girl home and have noisy sex then walk around undressed outside our room. What if DH had gone to speak to them. My DD was in bed in the room next to them too.
Is this acceptable for teenage boys?

OP posts:
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MrsMikeDrop · 19/03/2023 10:26

I wouldn't be very impressed, maybe tell him next time they can go to her place

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Phoebo · 19/03/2023 10:27

Ihatethenewlook · 19/03/2023 09:38

I did lots of fun things when I was 17. That didn’t include going out and getting pissed, bringing back a bit of strange to my parents house and noisily shagging their brains out with the whole house listening. And then walking round bollock naked post-sex for my parents to see. And then laughing about it. That’s fucking appalling behaviour from anyone, but clearly we have different standards. If it’s so nice and fun and normal then why is the op complaining about it?

Agree. I had lots of fun but not in my parents house because I had respect

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longwayoff · 19/03/2023 10:27

17 is underage drinking? Is it? What's the cut off age? I dont have any teens and dont go to pubs or bars.

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Thisismeyeah · 19/03/2023 10:28

If you allow this in your house, he will take advantage. 17 is a bit young to be accepting of this type of behaviour, whats to say the girl is even old enough. You need some boundaries in your house especially with younger children around.

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DojaPhat · 19/03/2023 10:30

It's about the sheer lack of respect. It doesn't matter if the girl in question is the DSS' best friend friend or random - bringing her home and proceeding to have loud sex is out of order. When he sobers up talk to him -you need his father on side to essentially read him the riot act. It's about respect.

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Sarah2891 · 19/03/2023 10:31

I thunk he's being very disrespectful. No way would I allow that.

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Minfilia · 19/03/2023 10:31

YANBU.

I am fine with my DC having their long term partners stay, but that would piss me right off!

I would be reading him the riot act today!

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raspberrywine · 19/03/2023 10:33

laviniapurpletips · 19/03/2023 09:10

Totally read this as came home for the weekend as usual AND went out drinking. Meaning the coming home for weekend was the usual part but not the drinking.

It's becoming a minefield for anyone considering posting a new thread on here.

IKR? If the opening post isn't written with perfect clarity (and this one was), then there's all sorts of nonsense and jumping down OP's throat.

It is a wonder anyone starts a new thread.

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Jarstastic · 19/03/2023 10:34

TheFireflies · 19/03/2023 10:20

No, they really wouldn’t.

And unless he was going to be taking photos of the girl during their random chance encounter on the landing, the police wouldn’t be interested either.

there was a recent thread by an OP whose 17-year old got in bf’s mums car and started it and knocked into another car. and even on that the police completed a Merlin report.

presumably social services didn’t do anything in that case. a middle aged man and a naked teenage girl under 18 on a landing, why invite this into your life.

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raspberrywine · 19/03/2023 10:36

OP, how old is your daughter? That's a factor too.

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Jarstastic · 19/03/2023 10:38

longwayoff · 19/03/2023 10:27

17 is underage drinking? Is it? What's the cut off age? I dont have any teens and dont go to pubs or bars.

Yes it’s 18 has it has always been in my life and also age for smoking now. And education. At 16 you now cant stop being educated, smoke or drink; but can bring new life into the world.

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maddy68 · 19/03/2023 10:39

He's away at college so is used to freedom.

He was drunk and hormonal.


Just have a word with him later once she has gone home. It's annoying but one of those things.

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HappyMothersDayLadiesofMN · 19/03/2023 10:39

DaveyJonesLocker · 19/03/2023 10:18

I'm far from prudish or whatever but no way would DS be bringing one night stands to my house at 17 years old, or ever, and shagging loudly with his (non existent as yet) little sister in the next room.

Bang out of order. Bring your girlfriend over and have quiet sex all you like. But you do not bring strangers into my house and wake us all up listening to you shag.

Also, why the hell are you cooking dinner on mother's day? Fuck that.

DD is only 9 so I won't be letting her loose in the kitchen just yet.
I'm cooking for my mum and the rest of the family so it's on me, DH is peeling all the veg.

OP posts:
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HappyMothersDayLadiesofMN · 19/03/2023 10:41

raspberrywine · 19/03/2023 10:36

OP, how old is your daughter? That's a factor too.

Sorry she's 9. Luckily totally oblivious to anything that happened. Some difficult questions if she'd got up for loo while we were on the landing.

OP posts:
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Ludo19 · 19/03/2023 10:42

Anoisagusaris · 19/03/2023 09:10

I think it’s sad that 17 years are having sex with strangers/random people they meet on a night out. I don’t care if people think that’s an old fashioned view.

I do too

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Skeuomorph · 19/03/2023 10:46

If anyone ever asks me about the importance of the Oxford comma, I’m going to point them to this thread 😁

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raspberrywine · 19/03/2023 10:47

Sorry she's 9. Luckily totally oblivious to anything that happened. Some difficult questions if she'd got up for loo while we were on the landing.

Totally unacceptable to bring a girl home just for this alone. Long term girlfriend is different to a (possible) ONS.

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Skeuomorph · 19/03/2023 10:49

Anyway, to answer the question.

I do think bringing a stranger into the house late at night and making enough noise to wake people up is disrespectful.

That said, he was a honey drunk teenager, so not exactly thinking with his brain.

I’d have a chat with him when he’s sober and start agreeing some ground rules. Personally, given he has his own bed to bring girls to at uni, I’d be implementing a full ban on random overnight guests.

I’m curious to know why they were heading to the bathroom together, though.

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TheScreams · 19/03/2023 10:50

HappyMothersDayLadiesofMN · 19/03/2023 09:19

Thank you. I was starting to doubt myself for a second

No, that’s not at all what was said. Read what was actually said.

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FrenchandSaunders · 19/03/2023 10:54

I’ve had two teens and def no randoms allowed back to ours. I was happy for boy/girl friends to stay overnight but no randoms.

I wound be very pissed off OP!

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FrenchandSaunders · 19/03/2023 10:59

As for the under age drinking horrors from some …. the vast majority of 17 year olds have fake ID these days.

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HoppingPavlova · 19/03/2023 11:01

Just have a word with him later once she has gone home. It's annoying but one of those things

I really don’t think it is ‘one of those things’. No way a 17yo, 40yo or 50yo is carrying on like that in my house. How disrespectful.

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Hellybelly84 · 19/03/2023 11:01

Anoisagusaris · 19/03/2023 09:10

I think it’s sad that 17 years are having sex with strangers/random people they meet on a night out. I don’t care if people think that’s an old fashioned view.

Agree-how can they both not be embarassed?

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TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 19/03/2023 11:01

HappyMothersDayLadiesofMN · 19/03/2023 09:26

We will be having a conversation when he gets up. I just wanted to be sure is wasn't being a boring old fart about it.
I don't want naked teenagers outside my bedroom, I'd already made it obvious someone was awake so common sense should have told them they'd woken us up and not to walk around in that state.
DH would have had a heart attack if he'd seen her.

Why are you not just referring this straight back to DH to deal with?

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TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 19/03/2023 11:02

LakieLady · 19/03/2023 09:24

The girl may not have been a stranger to OP's DS though, just because the OP doesn't know her. When I was that age, my DPs only knew my closest friends, they had no idea who else I was friends with.

This is especially true in a small town like mine, where most kids go to the same secondary school. When my friend had a stern word with her then 18YO about bringing home a "random" girl, he quickly pointed out that they'd known each other since they were 11.

So?
They're still randoms to the parents.

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