DSS Brought random girl home

[HappyMothersDayLadiesofMN]

DSS 17 is away college
Come home for the weekend as usual and went out drinking. At 2.30 made an almighty racket coming in drunk which woke us up
After 15 minutes we could hear him having sex. He'd brought a girl home.
After 30 minutes of this they came out of the room to the bathroom next to my bedroom giggling. By now I was bloody annoyed so I jumped out of bed and went out of the room. He's in his boxers she's naked going into the bathroom.
I told him to keep it down and that they were taking the piss. He apologised and said they were going to bed. I said I've heard you "being in bed" for the last half an hour.
We have no idea who this girl is. AIBU to be cheesed off. I found it massively disrespectful, not only did they wake us up which happens a lot when he goes out but to bring a strange girl home and have noisy sex then walk around undressed outside our room. What if DH had gone to speak to them. My DD was in bed in the room next to them too.

Is this acceptable for teenage boys?

Jesus I'd have never have done this as a teenager! Do they not have sex at house parties anymore?! Or wait til parents are out 😂 madness.

Or the car!

I don’t host random strangers in my home. depending on her age and state of inebriation, I would have asked her to leave or called her parents to come get her.

if he wants to risk spending a drunken night with some person he barely knows, he should be paying for a hotel. Or more likely, his parents should be teaching him not to engage in such risky behavior to begin with.

Weird that a minor girl was black-out drunk and naked in the OP's home in the middle of the night and no one seems to be concerned about her in the slightest.

Her age wasn't mentioned nor if she was black out drunk at that time by the OP so I guess they weren't jumping to conclusions

No reason to assume they're the same age, you're right. Maybe she was 19!

And yes, maybe she wasn't black -out drunk and just...thought it would be a good idea to wander naked in a stranger's home. That makes it normal.

It's important to be a cool mom and not jump to conclusions.

We don't allow stay overs here for one night stands and dss is 25. He can bring back a girlfriend /someone he's in a relationship with but otherwise it's a no.

Are people on here just trying to stir up arguments? There have been some really odd replies

Clearly these days on most threads the answer is yes. The first few responses to this one are particularly goady even for mumsnet however.

Not jumping to conclusions doesn't mean you are the cool mum .

As you say it's important not to jump to conclusions...

Glad you have spoken to him and he was suitably contrite. Address contraception with him too.

Your son has very poor standards and poor manners.
It is your house. He shouldn't be coming in late waking anyone. He should not be drinking.
He should not bring one night stands to your home.
Does your husband set boundaries for him?

Bad things often happen to young people who drink, stay up all night, drive after midnight, have non consensual sex often etc etc. Their brains are still developing and the alcohol and tiredness make for poor decision making. It adds huge risk of accidents, rape, unwanted pregnancies, STDs, fights, alcohol related brain damage, experimenting with drugs, smoking and death. Just driving while tired or being tipsy and accepting a lift home does end in deaths.

Kids need to learn how to have safe fun and how to regulate their behviour so to not be antisocial like your son. They learn with sensible boundaries and parenting.

@BloaterW1 that poster is being ironic quite clearly.

My DSD17 text me in the early hours a couple of weeks ago saying she was bringing someone home. Clearly, I was asleep and didn't know until the morning when I woke up.

She had been in all night, not out drinking, She got up at 3am, got in her car, drove and picked him up and bought him home.

I hit the roof when I woke up to the text. My baby was asleep in the room next door and there was a stranger in my house. I couldn't convey to her the level of danger in that.

Absolutely furious, and totally unacceptable in my eyes. I'm not prepared to have men I don't know in my home, when I don't know they're here. I have her sister and a baby to keep safe and they are my priority over her sex life. Total lack of respect for us, her sisters and herself.

You're not wrong to be pissed off OP.

Of course it is disrespectful and awkward.

Which parent actually want to hear their 17 year old kid having sex? or stumble upon a naked teenage girl?

If he wants to live the life of adult and do as he please tell him that he needs to move out, get his own place and pay his way.

As long as he is under your roof he will follow some basic rules.

I can't believe some of the replies on this thread...raise your standards.

Really? I didn't notice...

I've reported your post because whatever your views, your unnecessary, unacceptable name calling is out of order.
It's a one off incident which has been dealt with. Calling him those nasty names was uncalled for.

@FrillyGoatFluff I think this is the risk of saying 'no overnight guests without asking' as they are more likely to be asking at 2am and will just think just sending the text is enough.

Call me old fashioned but if my DC are old enough to be having casual, drunken sex they’re old enough to pay for & book themselves a hotel room! There’s no way I would stand for that…

My eldest son is 16 and there's no way that behaviour would be happening in my house. Total lack of respect. Naked random girl in my house, other kids asleep! No way!

I don’t care if he’s 17 or 56 that is NOT acceptable.

I read it as the coming home for the weekend is the ‘as usual’ bit. Then I’m this accession he went out drinking. Revisit the text Sherlock, Op never said the drinking was frequent.
Op - all but the naked in the hallway but is normal but no way should she wandering around your home naked!

I think your comprehension is a bit off. He came for the weekend as usual. He went out drinking. No "as usual" after the part where he went out drinking.

Agree. He doesnt sound like he has much respect for his parents or himself. She obviously thinks the behaviour is ok because she lets him go out drinking too. The ol boys will be boys crap.

She has created this problem

I was lucky I think that my two didn't really bring randoms home. But they did have their boyfriends/girlfriends to stay over - but always let me know they would be. So I never met any naked randoms unexpectedly on the landing. I also had to pick them up from parties completely drunk from time to time.