Feel shit and pissed off with kids grandparents

[Mamaofthree1]

I'm a SAHM with 3 kids (10 Wk Old, 1YO, 6YO. I'm always trying my best to be the best parent for my kids, spend time really with them like making sure am present and enjoying their company, take them to places nearly everyday to make them happy. I look back at my own childhood my parents weren't in it with their heart. They don't make any effort to see my kids they expect me to take my kids to see them every weekend they never come to mine to see them, they're not the most welcoming when I go there aswell, after like an hour they're yawning saying they tired etc and make it obvious they cant be arsed with the kids. My dad always drinks atm and that's all he cares about. Just feel like they're barely acting like grandparents. My mam does have MS and feels poorly quite a lot so I dont expect much from her but my dad doesn't have any excuse. My mam is poorly but she could enjoy their company more like interact with rhem more instead of just sticking them in front of the telly as soon qs they come un, if I ask to babysit she plain right refuses straight away. My 2 eldest kids had a sleepover at their house when they were 5 YO and 16 MO only because I left their bags and told them straight they were babysitting while I go to have dinner and night with DH before baby no 3 came along. Because if I asked they would of just said no. Am honestly just feeling so let down by them I normally would go every Saturday to theirs but today I just took the kids to softplay instead. Please tell me its my problem and it's not them. I just see all these other grandparents doing so much with their grandchildren while mine seems to be totally selfish never leave the house to visit us and always negative argumentative and miserable and just toxic for my kids. Sorry for the long post its just getting me so down. I feel like my kids deserve so much more. My other half's parents don't live in this country so they don't have anyone else by their side.

[NorthernDrizzle]

Saturday night and the air is getting hot

[Skeuomorph]

Yeah, you’re the problem here.

[cadburyegg]

My 2 eldest kids had a sleepover at their house when they were 5 YO and 16 MO only because I left their bags and told them straight they were babysitting while I go to have dinner and night with DH before baby no 3 came along.

Wow. Your sense of entitlement is through the roof tbh.

As a single parent I never understand this martyrdom done by some attached parents. You and your dh aren't attached at the hip. If you want time to yourself then leave him with the kids for a few hours and go out by yourself. If you want to go out with your dh then pay a babysitter

[FedUpWithBriiiiick]

Did ye, aye?

[Mamaofthree1]

Another thing I forgot to mention is their house is not the most child friendly and they get stressed whenever my toddler touches stuff they don't like him touching but I would be okay with. Just clearly want to be left on thei own in the house with no friends , I'm feeling so down when I spend too much time with them. Some advice please and tell me if I'm being unreasonable

[melj1213]

YABU

[Feel]

YABU.

[JorisBonson]

@FedUpWithBriiiiick

Did ye, aye?

Yep

[Tomatoblush]

You are being unreasonable.

[Youvebeenseeingsos]

YABU

[MintJulia]

Your parents deserve a less entitled and more considerate daughter.

Sorry but they are YOUR kids, no one else is responsible for them. So either pay for a babysitter or eat at home.

[Mamaofthree1]

I don't get how I'm the 'problem' like unless anyone's gone through this they won't understand it. I feel as though they're not there for my kids and it's not so much that it benefits me because they would babysit, i only got them to babysit that one time because I felt like they shouldnt really view them as a burden they should enjoy my kids company. It's the fact that my kids are missing out on having real involved grandparents, like research has shown how important grandparents are in kids lives.

[ODPintheNHS]

Yabu. They owe you nothing.

Packing their bag and leaving them there?

entitled much?

[Spiderboy]

YABU and entitled. Coupled with the fact your mum is disabled makes it horrifying on your part really. You just dumped your kids there and left?

[melj1213]

Your children are your responsibility, not your parents.

Would it be nice for them to have a great relationship? Of course, but they aren't obligated to be involved with your children if they don't want to be, and considering that they weren't great during your childhood what made you think you having children would suddenly make them want to deal with them?

[Mamaofthree1]

Yeah but the real issue isn't that they wouldn't babysit, am not even bothered about going out really. Its the fact that they're not even appreciating what's in front of them.

[melj1213]

@Mamaofthree1

Yeah but the real issue isn't that they wouldn't babysit, am not even bothered about going out really. Its the fact that they're not even appreciating what's in front of them.

They appreciate their own company, their own space, their own lives.

Why can't you appreciate that they don't think your little darlings are the be all and end all of their existence and stop trying to force them on one another?

[DinaofCloud9]

Lol OK. You're ridiculous.

[Stickytreacle]

If I had MS and a husband with drink issues I wouldn't want to babysit your kids either.

[Boomboom22]

Why are you there every week? That is an awful lot of time to spend with grandparents. Maybe they would be more interested if you went once a month?

[Starlitestarbright]

Your DM has MS, its a debilitating condition. So is caring for someone with it, i imagine your df is exhausted. You decided to have so many dc and in quick concession. I'd say no to you aswell you are beyond selfish and entitled. I hope this is a reverse.

[SleepingisanArt]

OP do you have MS? No? Because if you did you would totally understand why your mum doesn't want to babysit and finds your children exhausting. A 1yr old and a small baby need a lot of care and she just won't feel able to cope. Your dad sounds like a man who thinks children are not for men.... And of course their house isn't childproof- it's their house not yours. I'm sorry but you do sound unreasonable

[daisydot22]

Some elements of the op were ridiculous but I do sympathise with the overall point. It's hard when you have parents/grandparents who can't be arsed with their grandchildren. Even more so when you know that you were a child routinely given to your own grandparents.

No grandparent is obligated to provide childcare but as a healthy, loving, well rounded family it would be nice to feel like they wanted to spend time with their grandparents. My own mum isn't like that, she also prefers to drink alone rather than interact with her grandchildren. So I do see the op's point even if she hasn't worded it the best.