a question about pizza which is representative of deeper isses

[pizzaz]

Regular poster, have name changed for less bias...

I am on may home from another mumsnetter's house in dp's work van that I've borrowed for the day in order to transport a large item. My friend is looking after the dc and I've promised pizza tea for us all when we get back. Will be pizza on a tight budget.

Anyway, all day was a rush, so after lots of lovely texts from dp throghout the day (we have been rather on/off lately so this was a nice surprise and he was quite apologetic in several of his texts) I call and tell him on my way home but wold he mind going online to order the pizza so we don't have to wait when I get in as is now quite late. I tell him I have a budget of about 7 quid and that there is a bOGOF which comes to about 6 quid or so. He seems surprised but I say have a look online.

Anyway he orders pizza and when I get home announces that it is just over £15 quid in total. I look surprised and then say "what am I going to do?" We argue and he flings me 20 quid out of the work till and tells me to go away as I am taking the piss.

Now, I owe him money but it is complicated and he knows I am doing all that I can to pay him back and also that it was partly his 'situtaion' with ex wife that caused the debt in the first place.

However, I am a lone parent trying to get back to work and with no residual income, I gettaken out by him all the time since socialising isn't even part of my life as I don't have the spare cash for it. He tells me he is ok with this so wjhy is he being unreasonable about the pizza money??

AIBU?

I think I am discovering here that this comes down to - amongst other things - the fact thatI am in a relationship with a man who is faaar wealthier than I nd thatto me a few quid matters hugely and to him it doesn't.

The fact that we also have a professional relationship also skews things as does the fact that he is going through an acrimonious divorce and the fact that he is quite materialistic/driven by finances.

Yes, I am ridiculously upset.

Message withdrawn

I could never be with a man who quibbled over £8

Life is far far to short for that

I do think you need to have a long talk with your dp though & I am sorry for my flippant post at the start of this thread... I just think you need strength from somewhere to be able to stop blowing things out of all proportion.

You definately need to sit and have an honest talk with your dp, if you are upset about this then something certainly isn't right.

It sounds like both of you had good intentions but things got confused along the way. A relationship is about give and take and communicating with eachother.

Your dp needs to know how you feel and vice versa.

Good luck

Don't worry WofS. I know I need shaking, I'd like to shake myself. Sadly it is going to take a whole lot more than that for mw to put my past behind me and function in a more regular way.Not sure I have the strength really.

Anyway, thanks for those who have looked past the trivial here and helped me to gain some perspective. I'm not sure I know how wrong or right either me or dp are but clearly we need to talk money and divison of finances, favours and that kind of thing.

I think i've tried to do this but as he is in the midst of constant discussion and uncertainty over his divorce any heavy discussion from me is very unwelcome and is yet another thing I am criticised for.

I need to leave but I do love dp - when he is calm and his usual self. Will play the wait and see game a little longer but I have cancelled all plans with him for now inc. valentine's plans, my birthday next week, etc. Sob.