Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

a question about pizza which is representative of deeper isses

81 replies

pizzaz · 12/02/2008 10:32

Regular poster, have name changed for less bias...

I am on may home from another mumsnetter's house in dp's work van that I've borrowed for the day in order to transport a large item. My friend is looking after the dc and I've promised pizza tea for us all when we get back. Will be pizza on a tight budget.

Anyway, all day was a rush, so after lots of lovely texts from dp throghout the day (we have been rather on/off lately so this was a nice surprise and he was quite apologetic in several of his texts) I call and tell him on my way home but wold he mind going online to order the pizza so we don't have to wait when I get in as is now quite late. I tell him I have a budget of about 7 quid and that there is a bOGOF which comes to about 6 quid or so. He seems surprised but I say have a look online.

Anyway he orders pizza and when I get home announces that it is just over £15 quid in total. I look surprised and then say "what am I going to do?" We argue and he flings me 20 quid out of the work till and tells me to go away as I am taking the piss.

Now, I owe him money but it is complicated and he knows I am doing all that I can to pay him back and also that it was partly his 'situtaion' with ex wife that caused the debt in the first place.

However, I am a lone parent trying to get back to work and with no residual income, I gettaken out by him all the time since socialising isn't even part of my life as I don't have the spare cash for it. He tells me he is ok with this so wjhy is he being unreasonable about the pizza money??

AIBU?

OP posts:
lazarou · 12/02/2008 11:01

yeah, who is it? All this talk of pizza, i'm hungry now...

DualCycloneCod · 12/02/2008 11:03

ooh snidey!miaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaow

DualCycloneCod · 12/02/2008 11:03

tan skirts iwht tights maybe?

WallOfSilence · 12/02/2008 11:04

Erm... I can't remember her name, it's a Xmas shop name I think.

DualCycloneCod · 12/02/2008 11:05

oh god i wnat ot b in the in corwd and KNOW>

pukkapatch · 12/02/2008 11:06

i have no idea who the oposter is. but from the first post, what came accross was was how upset this person is. and they are asking for advice support.
cod, when i read the weaning threads, that is when i get really annoyed about how seriously some women take it. quite frankly it isnt life threatening. decision making life altering at all. in fact its a waste of itme. but i dont go on those threads and be rude to them. a little respect please.

DualCycloneCod · 12/02/2008 11:07

fair enough

mrsruffallo · 12/02/2008 11:07

How long have you been with him? Find the whole money thing a bit wierd tbh
If you only had 7 pounds you should have bought a couple from the supermarket-esp if he is being funny about your debts.

mrsruffallo · 12/02/2008 11:09

Does he use the fact you owe him money as an excuse to be rude to you? I would have to confront him on this

MotherFunk · 12/02/2008 11:10

Message withdrawn

Original poster
pizzaz · 12/02/2008 11:10

farking hell. Bit tedious to have kicked off. I mean, it's tedious for you lot because it is about crappy pizza and measly £7 quid. But, for me, tis important becauase I'm just learning what is reasonable in relationships.

I've said in posts before - WofS - that I need help here because I have no bloody idea when I am being treated appallingly and when I am being demanding and unreasonable.

Trinity and custy are both right in their interpretation and I agree with them that if he can't understand thatI only have 7 quid I only have 7 quid then I shouldn't be made to feel bad about the consequences nor stump up money that doesn't exist.

I'm getting really low about my inability to make judgements about relationships so however silly you think this thread is it isn't to me.

I am trying to walk away from being treated unkindly but I am struggling, really struggling

OP posts:
Original poster
pizzaz · 12/02/2008 11:13

I promised my friend pizza because it was a treat for, essentially, free childcare. If it had been for me and dc we would have cooked dinnner blah blah, from scratch and so on.

I had a budget for the day and stuck to it. The childcare was worth it because I was seeing a future client while friend cared for dc and stand to earn a lot of money (thank god) over Feb and March.

OP posts:
DualCycloneCod · 12/02/2008 11:14

so next tine y ou ask him to help you

he will say no fark orf cos you were a cow over the pizza

he cocked up
get oevr it!

MotherFunk · 12/02/2008 11:15

Message withdrawn

Original poster
pizzaz · 12/02/2008 11:16

How was I a cow? Really.

OP posts:
Original poster
pizzaz · 12/02/2008 11:17

pizza was time and cost effective given the circs, honest.

OP posts:
WallOfSilence · 12/02/2008 11:19

Right.

I won't post again.

I'm not much help in situations like this as I always want to shake you & say "For fuck sake grow a back bone & stop deending on other people!"

Seeya!

Original poster
pizzaz · 12/02/2008 11:23

K, I'll just grown one - just like that. Done.

If you are sooooooooo feckiing useless and you are 33 and it is going to be sch hard work to be like other people who are better and more normal in relationships, is it worth it, really?

OP posts:
WallOfSilence · 12/02/2008 11:25

See, why do you think other people are better? And what is normal in a relationship?

mellowma · 12/02/2008 11:26

Message withdrawn

mrsruffallo · 12/02/2008 11:27

pizzaz- its not rocket science! You need to find someone who makes you feel good, who likes you as you are and who can talk about a problem without using it to make you feel shit.
Trust and respect- you know, the usual stuff. Don't judge yourself by others standards- esp not on mumsnetters- but on how he makes you feel

MotherFunk · 12/02/2008 11:28

Message withdrawn

Original poster
pizzaz · 12/02/2008 11:28

Think I am perversely drawn to being treated like crap tbh

OP posts:
MotherFunk · 12/02/2008 11:29

Message withdrawn

Lulumama · 12/02/2008 11:30

well , i don;t know who you are, but to me it does not seem sensible to spend your last few pounds on pizza. but if there is some deeper issue with your DP, then I am sorry, and i hope you sort it out