DH organized nothing for tomorrow

[Nomothersdayforme]

Just found out DH has not organised anything for tomorrow. He did this once before but it was just as Covid hit so I wasn’t too upset, hard to go into shops etc and Amazon deliveries all over the place. I’d mentioned something I’d like to him and DD. DS is too little to know. DD tried to advise DH on this and they ordered something totally awful online last week. DD let slip and I told her that maybe she and DH might want to swap it as she’d misinterpreted what I’d said… Said something to DH now about looking forward to what they’d chosen as an alternative once the misunderstanding had been cleared up and he told me they hadn’t got anything else. DD now crying as DH didn’t sort anything else. She is also too young to go to shops alone.

AIBU to think DH is crap? I always get him ace presents and bought gifts and cards for both my DM and his!

I think that the dads should help the dc with arranging a card and some flowers, chocolates or a mug/candle or whatever.

Mother's Day really does not require a proper gift. Although I feel a bit of a brat now because I ordered myself some new pjs and slippers and told dh to get the kids to give me them for Mother's Day.

I'm very intrigued to know what the original awful gift was.

I wrapped my dad up one of his own jumpers once for Father's Day, I was only about 5 or )6. They all laughed at me and I was so sad.

When they WERE young, rather

Christ, if this is what you're like for mothers Day, I'd hate to see your tantrums and foot stamping over birthday and Christmas.

Maybe you should set up a gift register at Harrods to ensure you get exactly what you want in future.

You are being ridiculous. Your poor DD!

I’d be greatful he’d gone to the effort to buy something even if I weren’t keen on it. It’s the thought that counts. I think you’re going to ruin your own day by being so hung up on a gift. My partner hasn’t bought me anything or arranged anything but I’m going to have a lovely day with my two DS’s regardless

when my girls were small the school did a stall where we all donated small gifts and the kids picked something and wrapped it. When dd1 was about 6 she came marching out of school with what was clearly a tin of quality street and said ‘it’s ok mum. I can help you eat them. And the tin will be great for my Lego’ Huge grin.

it’s one of my favourite memories remembering how proud she was of herself. That’s what Mother’s Day is about ffs.

What is wrong with you? You sound completely awful. Of course I’d be happy with a bunch of daffs. No-one gets presents on Mothering Sunday. Why are you getting people presents? It’s a church festival and has little to do with actual mothers. You’ve brought all this on yourself. You have made your DD upset, all because you are acting like a dreadful mother.

If your family usually makes a big fuss on special occasions, why hasn't DH made a fuss this year?

Aww this is lovely! Made me melt 💛

OP - defo unreasonable. Feel sorry for your DD who tried her best and you basically told her it wasn't the right choice, you don't want it; not a nice life lesson. Why don't you make it up to her and take that little darling of yours out tomorrow and let her pick something for you, just you and her, a mum day shopping trip 🛍 finish with a hot chocolate somewhere together *makingmemories :)

That made me burst into tears, it’s so beautiful! Very lucky you. That’s lovely.

A world away from that inhabited by the OP…one she’ll never understand.

Oh, OP. To be honest, I’d think at least they tried - especially your little girl. Lots of mothers won’t wake up to a card even. Personally, I’d rather a handmade card from my daughter (helped by her father if necessary) but I understand it’s nice if the father of your child also shows some gratitude for all you do, especially if the child in question is too young. I’d be more forgiving if he does show you how much he appreciates you on normal days. But I remember my father’s questionable gifts for my mother growing up and how disappointed he’d look when they really weren’t her.

• but he DID do something for Mother’s Day.

Actually yes I would. Because it’s what I’ve been given.

if YOU want to go out all bells and whistles for others that’s on you. You shouldn’t give to receive (and in the same vain, don’t put in the effort you expect from others with your efforts)

That’s a fast way to get disappointed.

I wrapped my dad up one of his own jumpers once for Father's Day, I was only about 5 or )6. They all laughed at me and I was so sad.

I once bought my mum a purple flocked, plastic bull for mothers day. With my own money. I think I was about eight or nine. The next day I overheard her mocking it and laughing with her friends about it. I was so hurt and upset. I'd thought I was getting her something lovely. I was eight or nine after all.

I couldn’t care less about Mother’s Day. My daughter (8) cares, however, and has handmade a card (which I accidentally found and quietly put back). She also bought me the crappiest plastic keyring charm from the school pop-up shop on Friday with her own pocket money, and came running out of school to give it to me. It will be on my car keys until it breaks or drops off, and she has been given a thousand kisses and thankyous for it.

You need to have a word with yourself, Op.

I took DD who is five to a really lovely gift shop last week and showed her the words Mum and Mummy and said go choose three gifts in the basket and then the lady behind the till wrapped them and I paid.

I gave DH the receipt ( without looking what was on it)so DD got to choose it all.

I don’t care what it is.

DH gets very upset and stressed by present choosing and then I get generic White Company or Neom as he panic buys.

it doesn’t matter what DD chooses - it’ll be sweet or funny and could well be Peppa Pig or socks with squirrels on. We shall see. She loves choosing presents as I do.

I am so happy she is at an age where she can choose me presents that she thinks I will love.

I'd set the bar lower. Mine are giving me daffodils and a large bag of maltesers. It's the thought that counts. I'd get him to nip to a garage or supermarket for flowers and chocolates for your kids to give you. Do the same back when it's fathers day, beers and chocolates. No expensive presents needed.

Agree. You definitely shouldn’t have mentioned it to your young daughter :( for what it’s worth I’m a single parent, last year my then 5 year old daughter made me a bowl of coco pops for brekkie, and made a paper doll that looked like me for Mother’s Day and it was the loveliest thing. It isn’t all about getting presents.

Making suggestions for Mothering Sunday gifts is massively ott, imo. And YABVU for upsetting your daughter.

Our family have always done gifts so it’s not about that. It’s also not about value, though we are not too poor to spend a few pounds on something decent. It’s about lack of thought and planning by DH, that has led to DD especially being upset about having nothing to give. She thought he was switching out the first gift. He just returned it and didn’t replace it.

Fuck it, the gift was some jewelry that I would never have been able to wear because of an allergy. DH has known of this allergy for 25 years! There is no way he didn’t know I wouldn’t have been able to wear it. But choosing not to replace it, being annoyed that I pointed out I couldn’t possibly wear this thing, surely that’s wrong? He had over a week to get an alternative sorted after DD let slip. She would have been more upset to get me something I was unable to wear/use than have this pointed out in advance of the day so she and DH could get something else. Or so I thought.

I appreciate not everyone does M Day the same but we’ve always (until now) made it a thing. He will be expecting something nice on Father’s Day. Might not get it now tho!

Your poor little girl. I couldn't tell one of my children they'd got the wrong thing and they are all adults.

He asked her

And if your asked for ideas and you say anything but the blue hippopotamus you KNOW I HATE THOSE and he buys it for you just how shite and unappreciated would you feel?

Oh yes, upset DD again.

I think you're being ridiculous and I feel sorry for you daughter. Might just be me but I'd be grateful with anything I get given on Mother's Day. Although I wouldn't have actually asked for anything either.

I’m speechless. Did no one teach you to accept gifts gracefully - especially from your children ffs ! You sound so selfish

You sound like a right snob.

Some people don’t even have the cash to get a bunch of daffs, let alone some materialistic crud.

You must be a troll surely