So finally, after 7 years and 2 DC together DP and I are getting married in November. We have booked our honeymoon and plan to not take the DC. They will be 5 and 20 months when we go away and we'll be gone for 10 days. My parents have very generously offered to have them. They've had them before but the longest has been 3 days (all was fine). Youngest goes to my parents at least one day a week whilst I work and has done since 6 months old so is well used to them.
I am really looking forward to it but a friend has made me second guess myself, she looked frankly horrified when I said we weren't taking the DC and said how young they still were, how long we'd be gone for etc.
This will be the first time we'll have gone on 'proper' holiday without DC and the first time DP will have been abroad! I'm now starting to worry I will traumatise them by leaving them for 10 days!
YABU - Your friend is right
YANBU - Enjoy the honeymoon, kids will be fine
AIBU?
To go on honeymoon without young DC?
StrawberryButtons · 18/03/2023 17:48
Am I being unreasonable?
430 votes. Final results.
POLLAnotheroverreaction · 18/03/2023 20:10
Not necessarily- it depends where OP is going as lord of places round the world have very different approaches to driving/ safety etc
I am a bit shocked by these posters saying they left babies a few months old to go on holiday. I just don’t get it at all - did you not do that before you had kids? Can you not wait until they need you a bit less? I think it’s really selfish.
MegaManic · 18/03/2023 19:59
I’d also worry about going abroad the two of us and leaving the children in case anything happened to us
You are more likely to be killed in a car crash in this country and have something happen abroad. You would never go anywhere or do anything together on this basis!
Annon1234 · 18/03/2023 19:28
I bet your fun at parties 🙄
Ihatethenewlook · 18/03/2023 18:46
Well yes. We clearly have different priorities and standards when it comes to raising children. You’re literally having to actively research whether your children may be traumatised and psychologically damaged because your desire for a long holiday is more important than their welfare. But you’re still obviously going to go 🤷🏼♀️ like there’s a single baby on this planet who would be delighted at their parents disappearing out of their lives for what must seem like an eternity to them.
StrawberryButtons · 18/03/2023 18:32
Not at all, as long as it's a genuine peer reviewed study I will read and consider it. Judging by your language in other comments though you think I'm a complete monster for even considering it.
Ihatethenewlook · 18/03/2023 18:29
Google ‘how long is it ok to leave a 1 year old to go on holiday’ and click through the articles. I have a feeling that any I link post will be picked apart. For me it’s common sense that a baby will be distraught. But there are studies on it.
StrawberryButtons · 18/03/2023 18:24
Can you share links to the studies you found that state this? Not being goady, genuinely asking. I'm a scientist myself so appreciate peer reviewed research!
Ihatethenewlook · 18/03/2023 18:20
How do you know the kids will be fine? I’ve had a little look if any research has been done into this, and while the data is hard to verify in some cases, studies suggest that leaving a child under the age of 3 for more than 2-3 days can leave lasting trauma. I know we’d all like time away, there’s not many people who I know who’d be happy to knob off on a ten day holiday leaving their baby at home. Surely a long weekend would be best for now, and a longer holiday when the child has a bit of a clue what’s going on and that mum and dad are coming back? My kids are 6-15 and would likely be upset if I said I was leaving them for ten days.
Justmuddlingalong · 18/03/2023 18:11
Don't give it a second thought. Go and enjoy yourselves. The kid's will be fine.
Your friend sounds...odd/jealous/bitter/one of "those" mums.
*Delete as applicable
Ihatethenewlook · 18/03/2023 18:08
I wouldn’t leave a 1yo for that long. They’d probably think you’re not coming back.
Ihatethenewlook · 18/03/2023 18:20
How do you know the kids will be fine? I’ve had a little look if any research has been done into this, and while the data is hard to verify in some cases, studies suggest that leaving a child under the age of 3 for more than 2-3 days can leave lasting trauma. I know we’d all like time away, there’s not many people who I know who’d be happy to knob off on a ten day holiday leaving their baby at home. Surely a long weekend would be best for now, and a longer holiday when the child has a bit of a clue what’s going on and that mum and dad are coming back? My kids are 6-15 and would likely be upset if I said I was leaving them for ten days.
Justmuddlingalong · 18/03/2023 18:11
Don't give it a second thought. Go and enjoy yourselves. The kid's will be fine.
Your friend sounds...odd/jealous/bitter/one of "those" mums.
*Delete as applicable
StrawberryButtons · 18/03/2023 22:15
The more I think about it yes, the more the idea does make me anxious/worried. We are now considering perhaps just a long weekend away in the UK. But I imagine some might say even that is horrendously cruel.
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