Do you think you're a nice person?

[haioopl]

I go out of my way for friends and will consider other’s feelings etc. But this is mostly for my own gain, to feel liked and needed. I can be incredibly selfish and often have very selfish thoughts. Is anyone truly nice? Truly genuine?

Oh actually, I am mean minded when I drive. In my head I become impatient, judgemental and thinking the worst of everybody! It's like it's the only place I let out my inner bitch!

I’m not going to attack, I think you recognise by now what you wrote is by far the worst thing on this thread and that as a person you have some real issue and need help

But i am not sure anyone can help you on here, very few people pretend to help whilst secretly wishing ill on their friends

I hope you can find a place where you’re happy and this isn’t how you react anymore but I would ask you do not go near people and fake help any more whilst wishing them to fail as you currently do

@Thefriendlyone I'm going to assume that's you trying to be funny with a username like that. It made me smile anyway, thank you.

@Thefriendlyone
I laughed at your post too. "The worst thing on the thread"? Ha ha.

Like when your 2 friends lose weight and you don't. My 2 closest friends openly admit when the other loses weight and we don't that we are secretly dead jealous and wished they hadn't.

Yes and my life has been shit because of it.
The more selfish people I know have it all.

Batshit I think she was genuinely serious. Bless.

@Oblomov23 thank you.

I did find it a bit upsetting to have posters jump on my posts and tell me to 'go and get help'
I actually think that really belittles people that genuinely need serious help, and if I did need help it would make me even worse to have it said like that.

I'm actually a very kind friend, but I do get jealous occasionally about specific things because it shines a light on areas that I am insecure about or struggling with, such as being completely and skint.
Likewise I understand that my friend who cant get pregnant gets upset when I and other friends have fallen pregnant easily, I get it. I don't think I'm weird and I'll just ignore those posts.
I've been here 13 years and the keyboard nasties never fail to surprise me, especially when they are called the friendly one 😄

One thing I do is I 'gate keep' my more horrible thoughts about others: I turn them around and ask why I might be feeling how I do about them and what it helps me learn and myself and them. It's made me genuinely un-judgmental, I really don't talk about people behind their backs, I tend to find something to like in everyone and feel a lot of love for people in general. I'm very trustworthy for this reason!

This might make me 'nice', I'm not sure. I don't actually meet many people I like enough to be friends with, but when I do I give them huge amounts of time and love and attention. But most people i don't judge them and I 'love' them... but don't like enough to give them my true self or my time!

Thank god.....I thought I was alone in my feelings!

Mostly.
But I have no problem putting myself first, especially at work. I'm there to pay my bills, not because I really care about the work itself. And if some other perk appears, that suits me, I'm very confident in taking it.

Not to everyone.
I've no time for twats
I find nice people insipid usually passive aggressive and wouldn't trust them with a gun.

I am and I’m not. Like currently I resent helping anyone when I have my own shit I’m going through.
My 4 year old has suspected asd and has severe behavioural problems. I just resent all the other parents who don’t have this problem and then ask me for fucking help to get their child to school or to help during school holidays. If it wasn’t clear, I don’t work because I’m here for DD, not to be someone’s childcare provider because they have to work!

I am outwardly nice and pleasant to people. When people talk to me I’m not rude. But I don’t enjoy it. Most of the time I wish people would leave me alone.

I’m nice to service people like retail staff, health care staff, waiting staff etc etc… I get really annoyed when people are rude to them.

People irritate me a lot more than they used to over minor things. Eg walking too slow in front of me or walking too fast behind me 🤦🏼‍♀️ depending on where my position is.

Who’s posted anything about ‘chavvy’ names? I doubt very much you know anyone that calls people common on a daily basis, doesn’t sound like a likely daily conversation? Even so, Being judgemental is human nature to some extent, it still isn’t the same as being nice to someone’s face and secretly being hateful when good things happen to people and wishing they hadn’t or some of the other messed up stuff people on here are admitting to. That’s a whole different kettle of fish.

I'm not what most people would call immediately nice. Guests know where the kettle is, and I don't dish out compliments a lot etc.

But I'm very principled, just and fair. The 'nice' man who used to lead my company oversaw a toxic mess because he was incapable of dealing with bad behaviour, and was unaware when he was dishing it out, because he saw himself as a nice guy, yknow?

I was the hardass bitch who tackled the problems head on, treated everyone fairly, and who created a nice place to work.

My team eventually forgave me the lack of tea making :D

I actually think you sound very kind, rather than performative nice

Keyboard nasties 😂,i’m very grateful for your posts you’ve made me realise i’m actually lovely and if you’re happy in your denial then that’s all that matters.

i’m actually lovely and if you’re happy in your denial then that’s all that matters.

😂Wow. Snide much?

@tunamayo81 you actually tagged my post just to be nasty, for no other purpose. If you're actually lovely that was just odd, but fair enough.

Sometimes I think I am. I've been helping my best friend all week as she's been in hospital, she could ring me at 2am and I'd be there for her with no agenda, I want the best for a lot of people. But I don't suffer fools or attention seekers, and find myself thinking not very nice thoughts, I grumble a lot to dh about several friends, and do question myself regularly about am I actually nice?
People who go off sick at work for stupid reasons is my biggest bugbear and I find it very difficult to play the sympathy card when they're off, yet everyone else seems to flood them with supportive messages. And it does make me question whether there's something not nice about me.

I'm a carer, I volunteer to visit lonely adults in their own home, I also support disadvantaged kids with reading. I never claim my mileage expenses for work.or the charity I work with. I am very giving and support a lot of friends with life's cruelty. I'm a terrible person though. I've known this from a young age. I do useful things but my own children will be gone as soon as they can. I don't think love actually exists though

I tagged your name because it was a response to you specifically, that’s how mumsnet works.

If you read the whole thread, read what that poster has written, then read the fact she thinks she’s completely normal and anyone who challenges her should be ignored, my comment was justified.

I try to be kind and helpful. But I'm not an inherently nice person, no. I think a lot of it has come from poor life experiences, grew up in domestic violence, homelessness, was bullied & lost both parents. I think it has made me extremely cold and 'hard' however, I will always always go above and beyond for the people I care about, I'm in a caring job and will make sure I provide the best care for people, going the extra mile because I think that's what everyone should be doing. Consequently when I see people not doing a good job with looking after people it makes me so angry & I don't tolerate it. So I suppose in that sense I am a 'nice' person but I think that's basic human decency. I do get incredibly jealous of others though, I constantly wonder if my friends actually like me and I feel very bitter that people don't realise how much I've struggled to get to where I am. But I also realise that's my own issue. Basically I'd like to be nicer and happier overall!

Also to add, I will always speak up on behalf of people who can't, which doesn't always make me popular but I have an inherent need for 'fairness' and hate seeing others being taken advantage Of! I'm starting to think it's a personality flaw to be honest as it gets me in a lot of bother!

Why do you think love doesn't exist?