Do you think you're a nice person?

[haioopl]

I go out of my way for friends and will consider other’s feelings etc. But this is mostly for my own gain, to feel liked and needed. I can be incredibly selfish and often have very selfish thoughts. Is anyone truly nice? Truly genuine?

I am an only child and pretty selfish.

I would say I’m kind as I’m not mean in the sense of doing things with the intent to upset someone. But I’m not super helpful or go out of my way for people either.

The best I can say is that I try to be nice but it's an effort.

Similar to a PP, I don't suffer fools gladly so my impatient streak can show, which isn't very nice. I'll swear loudly at rude or aggressive drivers. And if someone is a dick to me I'll probably be a dick back, and they're not likely to get a second chance.

I used to bend over backwards doing favours that were outrageous, putting up with rubbish behaviour whereas now you won't be getting a chance to treat me like a mug.

Other than that I'm lovely 😳

This

Probably best not to.
I score quite high on psychopathy too but am saved by liking animals apparently.

I think I am yes ,but no way perfect! Also I do wonder if many men post these kind of questions. We are all a mixture of good and bad .Few people are truly wicked 100%

I don't think it's up to me to determine that. I imagine others' opinions would fluctuate by the day/how often they see me in a bad mood.

It's like being a 'good' person - that sort of thing I think is better left for others to decide about me, rather than trying to judge myself on it.

This is me too.
And l sometimes take a bit of pleasure in other people's misfortune

What do you mean by "nice"?

Me personally. I don't give a toss what others think of me, I'm just living my life.

I don't go out of my way to hurt people, and I don't go out of my way to help either.

I'm just me. Living how I want.

Some people think I'm rude, no skin off my nose. Others admire my attitude, again, I don't care.

I've had too many people shitting on me in the last few years to even consider being what others would class as nice.

this made me laugh!

It's hard to say really. We're shaped by experience and everything we do is for a reason, so nothing it's motiveless.

I struggle hugely with societal injustices, so I will do my bit to help.
I don't do it to be a nice person, I do it because I believe that we should build the community we want to see.
If you came to me and said your mum needs a food shop, your kids need Xmas gifts, old man next door needs a cleaner, I will help and never ask for anything in return. If you're in an abusive relationship then I will (and have many times over) get you out, you'll never have to see the person again.
Things like that I'm great.

But am I nice? Erm, not really, whilst I'm not unpleasant or rude, but I spent the first 25 years of my life absolutely being abused and battered myself. Makes you too messed up to be simply nice, it's more complex when you've ptsd etc, because you're quite irrational.
Last person who lay a hand on me I broke their arm and few ribs.
I'd never hurt anyone physically first but you're stupid enough to touch me I will not be the bigger person, I will fuck you up. I know that it's wrong, I know it's not nice and I know that isn't how we behave in a functioning society. But any form of bullying and my reaction is awful, I've been to therapy, I've an interesting police record etc, but I'm still never ever backing down from any physical bullying ever again.

We are all a mixture of good and bad qualities I believe.

If I'm honest I don't think I was a very nice teenager/young adult. I'm about to turn 30, a mother, and I think I'm a good person now.

I'm a nice person to nice people. I'm happy to judge and gossip about people who aren't nice.

I think survival is in our DNA and so we will always look out for ourselves first.
That may manifest into being kind to others for our own gain or treading over people to get what we want depending on our personalities and upbringing.

I also think pack mentality is far stronger than we realise. The judgement and bitching is all about people's differences and we like to search for mirror images of ourselves in looks (could be dress sense) and attitudes to feel like we belong. Survival again.

Who would survive totally supporting others and not themselves? This is why the sooner we stop telling our girls to be kind/be nurturing, the sooner women will have equal places to men in society.

I'm very fair I think. I'm a good and supportive and loyal friend. I'm polite and I give people the benefit of the doubt. I have very low levels of negative judgment and I try to make society better in the small ways that I can. So yes on balance I think i'm a nice person.

I'm too emotional to be nice. I am completely ruled by my feelings. I get defensive, hurt so if I feel provoked I can't control myself. I'm completely nice with family though, I love just as intensely so I dote on them and they can do no wrong in my eyes 😬 I'm a bit odd

I think I am, I'm not perfect and can be jealous and moody at times but I do try to be kind and thoughtful.

I’m a recovering people-pleaser and it came from a deep fear of conflict and/or rejection.

I have lovely manners, am non-judgemental and want to help people if I can, but I have learnt to curb my enthusiasm to give give give in order to be liked and not rejected. I now carefully manage how much I give, and to whom. I have learnt that No is a full sentence, and I only say sorry when an apology is actually due.

Anyone can act at being “nice”, as lots of comments here show, but I think being kind is much more important. Being kind means sometimes saying no, telling people things they don’t want to hear, and letting people learn from their own mistakes rather than clearing it all up for them - all without any expectation of anything in return.

Overly “nice” people give me the willies - I distrust them. I ask myself ‘what are you after?’. People with solid personal boundaries, but who are kind, they are the ones I trust.

I try, but it doesn't always come naturally. I have a strong selfish streak, and am very introverted, so am not massively invested in being popular. But life is easier in the long run if people think you're a good egg, so it's good to have credit in the bank.

On the plus side I don't really like conflict and can't be arsed with petty dramas, so I'm quite good at not sweating the small stuff. I remember nice things people have done for me and don't take the piss. I'm fair, and a loyal friend.

I could’ve written this. I don’t come across as particularly ‘nice’ but I wouldn’t be a dick to anyone. I’m always suspicious of those people who are overly nice and wear it like a badge of honour.

Nice is about treating others as you wish to be treated and that includes things that people do beyond closed doors without others watching. That’s the test - are they nice and kind to you when you’re not around?

Honesty, consistency and integrity are more important to me than sugary ‘nice’ virtue signalling.

I don't like who I've become...

honest answer? no
I am a horrible person. very selfish and will only do nice things that I want ro do or because it makes me feel good.

I used to think I could change but I can't so it is what it is. it's normal enough, everyone is selfish

I think you're right but the only person I would ever take a bullet for is my child, so I think that relationship is an exception to the rule.

Yep been there , wait until they are adults and have you pegged as the worst mother since Joan Crawford because they can't get their own way . But my not so nice side came out and told them to get fucked !