Do you think you're a nice person?

[haioopl]

I go out of my way for friends and will consider other’s feelings etc. But this is mostly for my own gain, to feel liked and needed. I can be incredibly selfish and often have very selfish thoughts. Is anyone truly nice? Truly genuine?

Answering sensibly now. I don't think I am an absolute cunt. I will help friends and family out within reason, I don't engage in workplace gossip which IMO can be dangerous. I don't really give a damn about anyone I don't care for. I am extremely bad tempered and will stand up to anyone. I only hate one person who caused my daughter extreme distress and have fantasies about planting an axe in their head. I don't suppose I'm any better or worse than anyone else.

Fuck me I take it back. I'm a bloody lovely person compared to this.

Can't believe what I d just read.

I’m niceish. I take pleasure in other people’s failure, which I utterly hate about myself. Also, when I dislike someone (usually for a good reason) I can hate them intensely. I hate the woman next door, and her repulsive adult son, and would be overjoyed if they died. But they truly are horrible, so I don’t apologise for that.

On the other hand, when good people are suffering, I will do anything for them. I have a lot of empathy, and really do feel for the sweet old man whose wife is dying of cancer, or the young mum whose husband has just left her. I would walk 100 miles to help them, even if nobody knew I had done so.

I do nice things, I care about people, I go above and beyond, I don't do it for my own gain but because I have incredibly selfish thoughts. I also suffer massively with imposter syndrome and I believe I'm actually a very horrible person that does good things to make myself feel better about myself.

My friends know this, and they often tell me, I'm good, I'm kind and I do things that even they wouldn't, but it's my driving nature, to do anything I can to help, because I'm scared someone will realise how utterly horrible I truly am.

I think people who are not nice are generally more successful in life and actually more popular socially. I have been nice to people, put myself out of my way in the past and the kindness/friendship was not reciprocated, u end up feeling foolish.
There are some people I hate intensely and wish them bad. I’m trying to work on this as it’s not good for physical or mental health. I’m introverted beyond belief and the older I get the less I want to be near anyone

They always get their comeuppance in the end . It may take weeks , days, months, years but karma always comes . So with this thought out those People to the back of your mind OP

I’ve actually changed my mind after reading this thread. I am nice. I don’t think/do half of the things people are admitting to on here and it wouldn’t even enter my head. Also genuinely concerned about how two faced people are after reading this. What you see is what you get with me. The amount of people admitted to pretending to be nice when they’re really not and are thinking nasty things has genuinely scared me.

I'm often really, really horrible inside my own head so I overcompensate by being ridiculously kind on the outside.

Does it matter what you think? Can you help how you feel? Surely what matters is what you do?

Unfortunately yes most people are fake.

Everyone employed in the NHS at present will inact Annexe B, tell you a man is a woman, get you arrested and remove your healthcare if you upset a flasher in the sacred caste.

No doubt they fake being lovely nice people to everyone when they aren't.

sex-matters.org/posts/publications/reviewing-annex-b/

www.gbnews.com/news/hospital-staff-told-police-their-patient-was-not-raped-as-alleged-attacker-was-transgender-despite-cctv-showing-assault-in-ward/250941

Plenty of librarians fake being nice and lovely, yet they and Teachers do this to children.

Most people are like those who posted here and people trust their most vulnerable with them, then the nasty pieces of work get the rage that you do not trust them.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11874067/GUY-ADAMS-asks-know-whats-childs-school-library.html

Yes, it matters what I think. I’m entitled to have an opinion like anyone else here. When you live in a community/society it matters what everyone does, not just one person. You may not be concerned we clearly live amongst a lot of false, horrible, nasty people but I’m allowed to be. There’s a difference between saying you’re selfish and prioritise your needs (fair enough) and saying you actively enjoy other people’s failures and hate it when other people do well. That’s sick.

I don't know I have asd and this maybe my way of thinking but It seems to me from talking various people that women seem to think they have to be perceived as "nice" to be accepted by their peers and men see the word "nice" as a insult.

The word itself seems to carry some emotive "your a good person stamp" bar the fact that you can't know why someone's doing something so you can't know if they are doing it for "good or bad" reasons.

In a way I'm grateful for my asd because I literally don't care if someone's "nice" verbally because their actions tend to betray any nice words they say. Words are just words.

I am to be fair, although that's challenging enough in my book tbh.

I love the fact that I am as straight as fuck and am completely non fake ( I’m like marmite- love or hate me) and that I am never ever jealous or envious of anyone or anything. I am also kind and generous and incredibly loving.

What I am also though is quite moody and also very critical. I hate this . I have few friends cos I don’t really like people and make little effort with bullshit such as making mostly fake friends at the school gates.

Family and my few friends are everything and I can be very judgy of those outside of that.

I didn't mean it as "who cares what you think?". I meant it as "does it matter what a person thinks? Can a person help how they feel?"

It was a generic "you", not you personally. And the question was, can a person control what they think and feel, and does that matter as much as what they actually do?"

Yes you can tell as no doubt you have seen the dregs of society show you their true self. You therefore will have picked up the micro expressions also, they don't show others - it suits then to be fake towards.

I am quite relieved to be getting old, I don't have to be nice anymore.

I will never be nice to NHS staff again, who will sell out the vulnerabie for Annexe B. I make minimum conversion, avoid them like the plague and will forever more now they showed who they are to us all. I look at NHS staff now and see absolute monsters now.

Same for grandchildren at school, I will not even bother with pleasantries after this, no more nice, only a teeny number of NHS staff or teachers don't do this, most are vile and harm.

Yes I think I am a nice person in general, I work in a caring environment and do my best for all patients and colleagues --unless they are arseholes.

I used to be a people pleaser but have worked on that and so now don't take on more than I want to. I think some people might find me a bit stand offish or brusque if they don't know me well but that is mostly a defence mechanism.
I am definitely not fake which some people might not like but it is the thing I like most about myself.

I am not a nice person. I am selfish, impatient, annoying and moody as fuck. I will be civil and polite but I could cut everyone out and not look backwards

I hope so, I genuinely want to make the world a nicer place (sounds sappy but I mean it). When my dad died so many people stepped up to talk about huge little things he did to help people out and I want to be that person. It’s amazing how a little bit of niceness changes so much in life

Not underneath. I can get along with almost anyone on the surface but the truth is I find most people very boring and self centred. I'm a bit of a loner if truth be told.
I'm a total stresshead and loose my temper easily but very few people will ever see that side of me.
I'm a good friend and always put other people before myself, but inside it pisses me off.

Ah Apologies, that was a misunderstanding on my part. Can a person control how they think/feel? Maybe, you can go to CBT or other therapies and try? if i was having the kind of thoughts people admit to here, I certainly would. I see what your saying about surely it’s what they do that matters but it’s still makes me feel very uncomfortable to think a person is pretending to be supportive and secretly happy something bad is happening to me. Just makes me feel like you can’t trust anyone- I knew there were people like that around but not this many.

I’m nearly 60 and have finally realised that I’m actually one of the nicest people I know!
I have moments of selfishness - don’t we all? But I try really hard to help those around me, be compassionate and see beyond the behaviour in front of me
when I can’t cope with the world or other peoples problems I take myself out of the situation and try and practice self care to recover
tonight I’m in on my own - in the bath with Prosecco listening to YouTube whilst on Mumsnet - to get myself through Mother’s Day with narcissistic DM who now has Alzheimer’s

I can be! My mood really affects my temperament.

This is quite disturbing.
Maybe you would be better suited to the username " Mrs Kaspbrak " ?

I am. I was treated very very badly once (I was trafficked) and if I can help someone or try to make a difference or just be friendly then I will. I know how much it can matter. If I don't like someone, I'll still be polite and talk to them.
If someone is unpleasant to me or mine I'll cut them out, but until someone proves themselves a cunt, I'll be nice.
I'm not a doormat, and I'm not a pushover, however.

please don’t let it. In reality these Folks are alone. Yes it’s sad, but you knew these folks existed.