AIBU To refuse to hold down toddler to force in medicine

[Calmondeck]

DH & I are at loggerheads - our DS is refusing to take required oral syrup medication (daily). DH believes the most respectful thing to do is explain to DS why it’s necessary he swallow the syrup, and then both hold him down while we force the liquid inside/him to swallow. I think this is too traumatising (the medication is required for the next 10 months at least) and we should try disguising it in foods (this has been mostly unsuccessful to date). DH says it’s deceitful to do this. DS is 22 months old.

So far, forcing him down has result in vomiting and/or him spitting it out.

AIBU to refuse to participate in holding our son down?

Tiny tiny bit of medicine, then a big bite of his favourite treat. Another tiny bit of medicine then a big bite of his favourite treat. Repeat until all the full dose is gone. This was the only thing that worked on dd with antibiotics around that age.

Doesn’t matter how the medicine gets to the back of the throat, he will still gag and vomit it back up. My central premise is based on actually knowing a bit of biology rather than your thinking that using a syringe instead of a spoon to convey the medicine to the back of the throat magically cancels out a strong gag reflex. Makes no difference.

I’m the horrible one for ensuring my autistic medicine refusers were never held down and force fed essential medicine in a traumatising fashion. 🙄

Think all toddlers medicine should be provided as a suppository.

Have you tried getting him to hold his nose (or you hold it) while he swallows it. Then quickly stick something nice tasting in - juice, a chocolate button, whatever, too disguise the residue of the medicine. Holding your nose significantly reduces the ability to taste.

He gets a reward for taking it & it’s less disgusting. And maybe he’ll feel less stressed by it.

I wonder whether a small amount of strong tasting juice (e.g. orange) in your DSs usual drinking cup would work to mask the taste (you mentioned hiding in food, but not drink).

Sorry you're going through such a tough time, I can't begin to imagine how much stress you must be under.

Holding is fine for a one off but not every day for ten months.

You can also try for him to give to himself, my daughter liked being grown up and doing it.

Role play with favourite teddy and a drs kit.

Disguise it.

Bribery.

@Calmondeck So sorry your family are going through this, and sorry there's some idiots arguing on your thread.

Is there a hospital play therapist you can access? They may have some suggestions for making it into a game for your son.

I hope things improve soon

The hospital must face this all the time.

What do they do/suggest?

(So sorry you're going through this)

OP has the hospital offered your son an NG tube? That's why my son had when he was having chemo and refused medicine. Made life so much easier

Is it the medicine he doesn't like ...or having it administered?
My very independent grand daughter was persuaded to take liquid meds when she was very young (not sure if as young as 22months though) by being allowed to hold the syringe and suck/push herself.
It might work..? He could practice with something else so as not to waste the meds. A bit of 'big boy' psychology/deception! could help.

There is a time and a place for being cuddly and nicey nicey and medicine isn’t one of these times. He needs it and you get it into him via any means possible or he will potentially become very unwell.

My child is the same age, I wouldn't do it. I'd have to find some other way, hiding in food etc. Our son thankfully has never needed anything, but he won't even swallow calpol, we'd have an ordeal if he ever had to take medicine.

I see some comments are saying that it is okay to hold them down for a one off, but not everyday for months, but it doesn't work like that as the child soon realises that taking their meds is the only alternative and they usually take their meds after a fairly short period of time without issues.
Certainly on the oncology ward my daughter was on I saw plenty of children objecting to their meds initially, but they really do adapt and see it as normal to just take them.
The fact is that they have to take them one way or another and you don't have the luxury of time to get them used to it.

Can you get a powder type medicine instead of liquid?
I disguise it in ice-cream, and it works well (DD has just turned 2).
I wouldn't force medicine down the child's throat tbh.

Bribe bribe bribe!!! That's my motto with long term meds, anything you think may work - may I suggest stickers, toddlers go absolutely spare for stickers (and obviously chocolate)

I wouldn't hold my child down either, because like yours she would spit it out everywhere! She's a bit older then your son and can operate a syringe herself, which has made it so much easier, could he do that maybe? Practise with some juice or something?

I have autistic kids, one of home has diabetes and another had leukemia. It’s not rationalising when you have no other option but to force it or that child dies. Don’t be so ridiculous.

@Calmondeck Oral syringe, very gently squirted into the back of his mouth.
Give a sweet if you must to take the taste away.

Far better never to battle a child, or animal.
( I knew a horse who would rear violently at the sight of an oral syringe for wormers as he’d been put in an ear /mouth twitch to take it.

Disguising it in his feed was needed.

Disguising it in his food may make him refuse the food.
There will be a way, but avoid battles at all costs.

I'd do whatever it takes if he needed the medication, including by by force if necessary

There are always other options to try.

Forcing isn’t even a universal solution, as with the Ops child, forcing has resulted in her DC vomiting the medicine straight back up. So obviously she has to find an option other than forcing to get the medicine into her DC.

You'd have been forced to find a different option too if the medicine didn’t stay down for your child. On that basis, I do cannot agree that force feeding is ever the only option that will work. It’s just the can’t be arsed to work with my child option imho.

The only ridiculous thing here is posters recommending the most traumatic option that has already been shown to not work with her child.

She doesnt have time to repeat the force feed and vomit cycle over and over. She is being perfectly reasonable to refuse to continue it and want to try other options.

Mine had that nasty tasting antibiotics in a small amount of neat ribena with added sugar. Plus little bits of chocolate for each bit taken.

Also had to hold them down whilst putting eye drops in... Which is a lot less traumatising than going blind.

Eh each of my 4 kids were held down by nurses for immunisations its for there benefit. One of them she ain't keen on medicine but we hold her and soon as she swallows she gets a treat. The others now voluntarily take it a under 3 if they need it and still get a treat after it

I have no issue being deceitful with my children over medication. But then I am the sort of mother who has told her kids they can’t go to the park because it’s closed. If hiding it isn’t working- can your wee one be bribed? I’ve found there isn’t much my kids won’t do for haribo.

I would see if it's possible for the GP to give the medicine in capsules or tablets. My DD absolutely hated taking one antibiotic (IIRC) syrup. She was older and absolutely adamant. Bribery didn't work. She happily swallowed the capsules much to the doctors surprise.

Or with a capsule you could open it and have a special medicine snack they have to eat, if necessary followed by an uncontaminated one.

They have to take the medicine, there should be no negotiation on that.

I’ve posted suggestions on things like playing doctor with a soft toy. Definately try not a traumatic route.

But also with my DS with significant SEN, I often ‘have’ the treatment also - obviously not injections - try seeing if your child would like to give you ‘fake’ medicine - and make it funny and even screw up your face ‘ewww’ if it tastes funny.

Another thing I do is I save a certain video that he LOVES to watch, only for medical or emergency purposes, and he gets to watch it then and for 20 minutes afterwards.