I think all of this is just a lot easier if, when dc are young, you get in to the “family rhythm” of everyone dressing before they come downstairs to breakfast tbh.
That’s what we always did as dc, so I carried it through when raising my dc.
It slips a bit during the teen period but generally it helps you get more out of your day and is a good discipline for school/work etc. I hardly ever saw my parents unless they were fully dressed looking back!
Having said that, op, I wouldn’t worry too much. Your dd is just starting to test boundaries. She’s intelligent and confident and it does take you by surprise when your previously easy going toddler suddenly develops opinions and has strong views about things. I always found four year olds way more difficult than toddlers! Please don’t lose confidence in your parenting.
The thing I have learnt most over my parenting years is that, within reason, it’s not the strategy itself that matters so much, it’s how you as a parent are feeling when you implement it. So if you feel stressed, guilty and uncertain, your dd will pick up on that and the situation will spiral in to negativity. But if you are calm, strong and feel good in “I mean it” sort of way, and you exude quiet confidence, that is the message that hits home. Especially if you implement it with a breezy positivity and use humour to diffuse any hitches along the way.
Best of luck to you.
Have confidence that your intentions are good, that you wanted her to get the most out of the day, and in order to do that, a bit of discipline is required.
She didn’t do it right first time but I would have still gone out (as you did) had the ice cream, and made it a positive experience,
albeit a shorter trip, and then on the way home say “you know next time if we do this, we can do x too if we start out earlier”.
It’s all about planting a positive seed and expectation for next time.
And if your child is quite mature and advanced and has strong opinions, and is trying to rule the roost (one of mine was like this!) the best way to deal with it is to give her lots of challenges and responsibilities. For example, we are luckily enough to live in the country and it is amazing what four year olds can do given the chance.
Around here they are supervised by adults, but they lead Shetland ponies, are given the responsibility to brush, water and feed them, and tack them up, pick out their feet, and it’s only the last two tasks they need help with. Just writing all that down to make the point that if they are testing boundaries at home, it’s a sign they are not being challenged enough in the outside world, and need to take on a bit more. That can be anything: climbing wall (bit young yet!), gymnastics, cooking, horse-riding, looking after an animal, but anything that involves a bit of controlled risk combined with responsibility is good.