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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I should get these free tickets?

268 replies

Purplepluhs292 · 16/03/2023 09:08

I was given a family voucher for an activity for Christmas. DH couldn't make it due to work commitments and DD did want to do it so DS and I went with my SIL and nephew.

The company films the activity on a go pro. None of us wanted the video but we went to the reception to watch the videos afterwards just for fun. DNs camera hadn't recorded the activity so the company have said he can come back another time with an accompanying adult to do it again.

Now baring in mind the original tickets were my chritmas gift, I didn't ask my SIL for any money for them and DN didn't actually want the video AIBU to think SIL should give the replacement tickets to me?

They're not designated to any particular name, they've just been sent to SIL email account. I know DH would like to do the activity and DS would love to do it again.

OP posts:
Original poster
Purplepluhs292 · 16/03/2023 20:07

Stompythedinosaur · 16/03/2023 19:38

You got given four tickets, you gifted 2 to sil and dn.

You both attended on gifted tickets.

I also don't believe for a second you would make your dc forgo a special and rare treat to give it away to a family member. It's clear how much you'd like your dc to have a second go. Presumably sil feels the same!

Also, ive already forgone a special and rare treat that was meant for DH and DD and given it to family members so you really are talking nonsense.

OP posts:
Original poster
Purplepluhs292 · 16/03/2023 20:09

GoodChat · 16/03/2023 20:06

@Purplepluhs292 but you've lost out of nothing either.

I never said I did!

OP posts:
XelaM · 16/03/2023 20:15

Have you told your SIL that your DH wants to go so could he take your nephew? I don't understand why you don't ask her this

journeyofsanity · 16/03/2023 20:23

DevantMaJardin · 16/03/2023 09:10

YABU and massively grabby. The company gave those tickets so DN and an accompanying adult could come back. SIL bought the tickets in the first place. I think you'll be embarrassing yourself if you ask for the second set of free tickets.

Wow talk about misreading the story and launching an attack

Boshi · 16/03/2023 20:23

OP why not just ask your sil if DH could take your nephew? Problem solved as it didn’t sound like your dd wants to go anyway

Cas112 · 16/03/2023 20:59

They was offered to your nephew because he didn't get the video

Why would you take them? they have not give you free tickets for the fun of it. They have give you them for a reason.. SO YOUR NEPHEW CAN RE-RECORD THE ACTIVITY AND HAVE A SOUVENIR FOR HIMSELF

I can't believe you even want the tickets, you sound grabby

XelaM · 16/03/2023 21:08

Boshi · 16/03/2023 20:23

OP why not just ask your sil if DH could take your nephew? Problem solved as it didn’t sound like your dd wants to go anyway

Many posters (including me) suggested this but OP hasn't answered 🤷‍♀️

Stompythedinosaur · 16/03/2023 21:15

Purplepluhs292 · 16/03/2023 20:07

Also, ive already forgone a special and rare treat that was meant for DH and DD and given it to family members so you really are talking nonsense.

Show quote history

Wow, what an unnecessarily rude response.

You say in your op that you gave away tickets as your dd didn't want to go and your dh couldn't make it.

Either way, the fact that you gave away those tickets doesn't give you the right to demand tickets given to them.

GoBackToTheLibraryWhereYouBelong · 16/03/2023 21:38

This is like yanny/laurel or the yellow/blue dress. I can't understand at all why so many people are saying the OP should have these tickets.

I think some have missed the fact that she didn't pay for them. They were given to her much as she gave 2 to SIL and nephew. So the restaurant analogy where one person has paid for a meal and another gets a refund doesn't hold.

Those saying if she hadn't brought DN he wouldn't have got the freebie, well, neither would OP if he hadn't been there, would she? There wouldn't be any freebie if DN hadn't been there. Therefore nobody is ENTITLED to it. It's a bit of luck that came his way and which didn't cost anybody anything, so no-one has lost out. The company gave it to him. It's his.

MrsDrSpencerReid · 16/03/2023 22:03

I wouldn’t ask for the tickets, but I think they should’ve at least offered one of the tickets to your DH.

Especially since it was such an expensive activity. If it was a meal or a cheaper activity then I think it would be ok to keep them, but because they’ve already benefited with £200 of free tickets I think the polite thing to do would be to offer at least one ticket to OP.

And I’d be pretty miffed about it if I was your mum too!

IWineAndDontDine · 16/03/2023 22:23

latetothefisting · 16/03/2023 19:21

Say the restaurant offered a refund rather than 2 free meals. You would think the sil would be reasonable to whack out her bank card and say "yes please issue the refund to me as he's my son" even though the OP paid for the meals?

If someone posted that scenario on aibu you'd all be falling over yourself to call the sil a cf!

Show quote history

But they didn't offer a refund...

Workingonweekendssuck · 16/03/2023 22:30

Yanu

Workingonweekendssuck · 16/03/2023 22:30

Yabu

Indigoshift · 16/03/2023 22:31

WonderingWanda · 16/03/2023 09:51

If you you treated your dn to a meal and hers came out burnt ot raw and the restaurant gave a replacement would you take it and eat it?

You got to do your activity, you haven't lost out.

This exactly. Once you pass on the gift ( ticket) then anything that happens after that is done.

You lose the control you have passed it on. As nice as it was for you to do. You can't keep the control.

Indigoshift · 16/03/2023 22:36

Blossomtoes · 16/03/2023 10:01

The tickets are recompense for your nephews go pro not working

The nephew who was only there in the first place because OP’s husband couldn’t go.

Irrelevant. If he broke his leg would that be ops fault as he was only there because of her?

niugboo · 17/03/2023 18:07

My favourite posts.

AIBU.

yes.

No I am not.

yes you are.

well I don’t care what you think.

niugboo · 17/03/2023 18:07

Indigoshift · 16/03/2023 22:36

Irrelevant. If he broke his leg would that be ops fault as he was only there because of her?

Show quote history

Oh the nephew should definitely do this and sue Aunty Grabby Knickers.

bpirockin · 17/03/2023 18:36

I voted that you are being unreasonable, but only for the fact that you used the word "should". Of course it would have been the 'nice' thing for SIL to ask if you'd like the tickets, given the circumstances, but as my Nan used to say to me "If you EXPECT others to do the same as you would, you're setting yourself up for disappointment".

I'm somewhat surprised that any 'compensatory' freebies were not sent to the person who organised it in the first place. As they were offered to your DN though, right/wrong doesn't come into it. I'm sorry that your DH/DS missed out and your SIL did not see the 'compensation' as a solution to that - assuming she knows that was the original plan.

Not that it changes the right/wrong of this, but perhaps SIL feels you're in a better position financially and this would be a real treat for them to make use of. Who knows? All we do know is that she doesn't think the same way you do.

Twentyfirstcenturymumma · 17/03/2023 19:01

OrraBoralis · 16/03/2023 09:37

I'm not sure where reading comprehension has gone but it is not present in this thread! For the hard of thinking, read the OP, it was not SiL who bought the tickets they were a gift for OP. Her DH unfortunately could not attend and OP invited SiL and DN to take DH's ticket.

OP you are absolutely not being unreasonable, your DS and DH should have the tickets.

This. 100%.

GoodChat · 17/03/2023 19:02

@OrraBoralis why should her DS have the tickets? He's already been too.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 17/03/2023 19:16

GoBackToTheLibraryWhereYouBelong · 16/03/2023 21:38

This is like yanny/laurel or the yellow/blue dress. I can't understand at all why so many people are saying the OP should have these tickets.

I think some have missed the fact that she didn't pay for them. They were given to her much as she gave 2 to SIL and nephew. So the restaurant analogy where one person has paid for a meal and another gets a refund doesn't hold.

Those saying if she hadn't brought DN he wouldn't have got the freebie, well, neither would OP if he hadn't been there, would she? There wouldn't be any freebie if DN hadn't been there. Therefore nobody is ENTITLED to it. It's a bit of luck that came his way and which didn't cost anybody anything, so no-one has lost out. The company gave it to him. It's his.

But they were given to her as a present from her mum. It’s not the same as being given a freebie from a company. Her mum paid a lot of money for the tickets and presumably would have given them something instead if she didn’t give the tickets. I think in this situation it should be treated the same as the op having bought the tickets herself. The sil doesn’t sound like she has been that appreciative about being given tickets to an expensive activity for nothing.

Xarrie · 17/03/2023 19:20

Is it the indoor skydiving? My DCs loved that too. I think she should give you first refusal on the tickets.

Phoebo · 17/03/2023 19:35

ApolloandDaphne · 16/03/2023 09:14

The free tickets weren't offered to you though. They were offered to your DN so you shouldn't get them. Don't be so greedy.

This. You only took SIL because they were going Spare - and you git them for free in the first place. Smh.

MrsMikeDrop · 17/03/2023 19:38

Purplepluhs292 · 16/03/2023 10:00

Of course they're something to do with me. DN wouldn't have been there in the first place for his go pro to fail if it wasn't for me.

Show quote history

But also there would be no ticket if his gopro didn't fail. You all sound hideous. If I was SIL I might say you all go again and split the cost.

smellyflowers · 17/03/2023 19:41

DH should go with DN

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