To think I should get these free tickets?

[Purplepluhs292]

I was given a family voucher for an activity for Christmas. DH couldn't make it due to work commitments and DD did want to do it so DS and I went with my SIL and nephew.

The company films the activity on a go pro. None of us wanted the video but we went to the reception to watch the videos afterwards just for fun. DNs camera hadn't recorded the activity so the company have said he can come back another time with an accompanying adult to do it again.

Now baring in mind the original tickets were my chritmas gift, I didn't ask my SIL for any money for them and DN didn't actually want the video AIBU to think SIL should give the replacement tickets to me?

They're not designated to any particular name, they've just been sent to SIL email account. I know DH would like to do the activity and DS would love to do it again.

Maybe SIL felt she was doing you a favour by going with you in the first place?
Also I'm slightly confused about the fact that you said DS would love to do it again with DH but now you are saying you would send DD......

OP: AIBU?
MN: Very much so!
OP: No I'm not.

Also OP: The tickets were very expensive. They were £100 each. SIL will have had £400 for nothing.
OP later on: No I didn't pay anything, you're right. The money isn't important...

22% of MN don’t think she’s being unreasonable.

IMO

You could only use 2 tickets so gifted the other 2. Lost nothing
DN was gifted 2 tickets for just being there

It's just luck
They are his

Some of the replies I've had on here are so nasty. To be called grabby, greedy, hideous, entitled, aunt grabby knickers etc is actually really very hurtful.

None of you know me, my home life, my health problems, my future. You know nothing about me yet name calling is the default. If you knew what I'm facing at the moment you'd all be so ashamed of yourselves.

You can give your opinion whilst still being kind, you can disagree with me based on what you know without being rude.

Thankyou to the posters who have done that.

What the fuck, am I living in an alternate reality!? Of course she should offer you the bloody tickets!

Oh god my heart bleeds. Poor sil she got £200 worth of free tickets and a completely free ride there and back originally and then ANOTHER £200 worth of free tickets but shes losing out because in order to use them she might have to open her wallet and pay for a a few quid of petrol.

Perhaps if that's too much for her she can gift her free tickets to someone else and if their go pro doesn't work they can get free tickets and the cycle can continue!

You were given a gift. You wanted to share that gift, and you did. Part of the gift you shared did not work out for one of the people you shared it with. They were offered a replacement and more since they need an adult with them.
Once you give a gift, it is no longer yours. It is unreasonable for you to expect or demand the tickets back.
That being said, your SIL should have given you the tickets under these circumstances where she and the DN already received the value of them and all of you are aware that the perceived loss was no loss to your DN at all. If she had paid for some gas or taken you all out to eat later, I would not say this. Because the tickets were only part of your gift to them. The ride there and back was also part of it. If I were your SIL, I would feel extremely guilty in keeping them.
That doesn't change the fact that you are not owed them back. It would just have been nice of her to reciprocate the gift you gave her. And bonus, it would have been no expense to her at all.
You are not being unreasonable to expect that she would gift you back the tickets since she contributed nothing to your day out.
You would be unreasonable to ask for or demand the tickets back. You can't force someone to give you a gift just because you gave them one. It would be polite and nice of them to do so, and they are being an AH for not giving them to you, but you can't ask for the tickets.
If not reciprocating is a pattern for her, then I would just not give her gifts in the future. If she has different financial ability than you, smaller gifts do not count as her not giving, as she is giving as much as she can. But, if she always takes and never gives, just don't give her gifts in the future, or only give her small things.

I'd still like to know if SIL is your DH's sister?

If yes, surely he could just have a word?

Please don't, you'll look ridiculous. Personally I think SIL probably should give them to you, as she already got a freebie off you. I also think you shouldn't expect them as she only went with you because you had spare tickets, and also they were a gift and ultimately it was your nephew who got the free tickets. You all seem a bit grabby tbh, given you're both being quite selfish over tickets that were free off a gift in the first place!! I did also find the petrol comment a bit odd, I'd never be factoring in petrol if I gave a friend or family member a lift on a day out, given this was part of the thought process it makes me think maybe the relationship isn't that close anyway? Seems a bit sad really, that there would be animosity from either of you over something quite petty.

This

I agree with you OP. Sorry about all the haters. And your SIL should’ve given you fuel money too.

Once you gift something it's not yours anymore and just because the recipient gets some extra bonus still doesn't make it yours. So no I don't think SIL/(DB?) should give* *them to you (and aren't they DN's not hers?). However why not just tell SIL/DN that DH/DS want to go and ask if they can use the tickets? As it's far away they may not be planning to use them. If DN says no then suck it up.

If you gifted DS and DN a skateboard each and DN's developed a fault immediately so it had to go back to be replaced and the shop gave DN some safety equipment as a gesture of good faith, would you expect DN to give them to you because SIL/DB didn't pay for the gift and actually DS would quite like them?

In our family there is a give and take for things like this - swings and roundabouts.

I have taken family members on days out and days away and wouldn't dream of asking for petrol money!

Totally what is wrong with people!!

Did sil offer you anything in return for the tickets. I would at least expect her to offer to get you all lunch or something like that. Accepting £200 of tickets and offering nothing in return does seem a bit odd.

'Haters' 🤣

Why should she have given her petrol money, when OP was doing the journey with or without her?

Several of us have asked this but OP doesn't seem to reply!

Some posters are just on Mumsnet to be nasty. It's really sad that they seem to enjoy being so snide and unpleasant. I disagree with plenty of OPs but I don't feel the need to be a bitch towards them.

OP, I agree with you 100%. I'd actually ask if you could have the tickets.

SIL is not coming off well at all here. I would have definitely offered to pay toward the tickets and when that was probably refused then bought lunch or whatever afterwards and any extras in the activity. The free tickets would have gone straight to you and DH, no question.

What a nasty comment. OP asked for an opinion not abuse.
You then adding to it with comments like this is cruel and unnecessary.
I hope you are never in a bad place and people think it’s ok to mock you. Where is your humanity?

Not getting a second round of FREE tickets is not being in a bad place. It’s the definition of a first world problem.

OP pointed out before you replied to tell her oh here comes the sob story that she was in a difficult place in life. And you chose to kick her for it. I hope you are happy with who you are as that’s all you need to worry about isn’t it?

Sorry. No. She asked for feedback and has been distinctly unpleasant on this entire thread. When called out she brings out the sob story. It’s a dirty tactic.