To think I should get these free tickets?

[Purplepluhs292]

I was given a family voucher for an activity for Christmas. DH couldn't make it due to work commitments and DD did want to do it so DS and I went with my SIL and nephew.

The company films the activity on a go pro. None of us wanted the video but we went to the reception to watch the videos afterwards just for fun. DNs camera hadn't recorded the activity so the company have said he can come back another time with an accompanying adult to do it again.

Now baring in mind the original tickets were my chritmas gift, I didn't ask my SIL for any money for them and DN didn't actually want the video AIBU to think SIL should give the replacement tickets to me?

They're not designated to any particular name, they've just been sent to SIL email account. I know DH would like to do the activity and DS would love to do it again.

We'd booked it, DH then had to go away for work, DD bottled out so I offered to SIL and nephew instead. I could have moved the date but I thought they'd enjoy it which they did.

Anyway, thanks again everyone. We'll just pay for DH to do it, I know DS would absolutely love to go again with his dad. Will make it a birthday treat later in the year.

Because it offers a different perspective, which I've listened to and thought about but my feelings remain the same. Have you read threads on the board, not every poster suddenly changed their opinion. I have had replies agreeing with me.

Let SIL offer, maybe she won't want hers and would be happy for someone else to go with DN - who is the tickets were offered to ......

You could ask your sil if your dh could take dn.?

I can see why you'd be slightly salty about this OP but don't think you can claim the tickets are yours. You could just ask if they intend to use them as DH and DC would like to go or you could offer for DH to take DN as he'd like to go, but say it in a way like you know she can say no!

I can't believe people are saying OP is grabby and its nothing to do with her.

SIL and DN were only able to go to this experience because OP offered it to them. They now have 2 additional tickets. So they get to go twice. SIL is the grabby one!

The fact the go pro didn't work is irrelevant because the DN wasn't going to purchase the video anyway! It in no way ruined the experience for him at all! Someone comparing it to a burnt dinner is pathetic. If DN's experience had been ruined by something which made him miss out or his experience was cut short, then thats a totally different scenario. And I'm sure OP would absolutely not mind if he redid it under those circumstances, having missed out and been dissapointed. But that wasn't the case.

But they mentioned the go pro didn't work and were compensated with 2 free tickets. Result!
But these are NOT dn's tickets. He got to experience something he wouldn't have done if OP hadn't taken him to it. For Free. He wouldn't even have been there if OP hadn't taken him!
The free tickets should belong to the person who paid for the day out (albeit by a voucher, but it was still op who 'paid' so to speak) as no ones experience was affected by the go pro!

SIL keeping them to go again is very grabby.

Similar scenario happened with my sister and me. She paid to take us to a railway thing as she had a discount and treated me and one of my dc to tickets. 4 of us went. There was a prize draw type thing during the day as it was an anniversary of some kind and little events going on throughout. They drew a ticket number out of all the entry tickets that day (we had to leave the part of the ticket in a box thing with our contact details on). I won a family ticket to return for 4 people. I imediately gave it to my sister because she had treated us to the day out in the first place. So she got to go again, and rightly so! It didn't cross my mind to keep them as 'my tickets!' I'd only won them because she had paid for us to go, we wouldn't have even been there to enter had she not taken us, and by giving them straight to her it compensated her for the lovely kind gesture of taking us and they absolutely should belong to her.

Regardless of who bought the tickets or who backed out or invited who instead these specific tickets were offered to your DN to make up for his camera not working. They are his tickets to do with what he wants.

Sensible!

@Purplepluhs292

As DH wanted to go, once he had to be away for work, changing the date would have been SO much simpler!! 😂.

it wasn't 'use them or lose them' but you decided to treat them instead.

Due to the failure of the Go Pro on the day DN was given a return ticket so he could see himself (whether he wanted to buy the video or not) & obviously requires an accompanying adult.

The way I look at it, that's DN's ticket so he also gets the full experience, like the rest of you.

I think SIL should have offered your DH the accompanying adult ticket & offered to go halves on the extra ticket so your DS could go with them. £50 each & both kids get a second turn & DH gets to go to.

Why not ask if DH can take him, they might be relieved not to have to do the drive anyway!

Does she drive if you did the full journey before? Will she even use the tickets?

Just tell DH to offer to take DN.

I think you are being unreasonable. However I can see why you're annoyed and think DSIL is being a bit of a CF for not contributing at all. If someone had offered me and DS £200 worth of an activity, I'd have at least driven us all/paid petrol/got everyone lunch or a takeaway when home. SIL does sound tight, but I do think because the tickets were offered to her and DNephew for the broken GoPro, it's fair they keep the tickets.

I would certainly be asking for petrol money though in light of this, whereas before I might have let it slide.

Firstly, why would you ask SIL for a contribution to the cost of the tickets, as you said in a PP that you’d been given the vouchers. You didn’t pay for them .

Secondly, why wouldn’t you have the conversation about splitting the petrol cost? I can’t drive so I’m always offering up petrol contributions and I certainl6 wouldn’t be offended if the driver asked. That’s on you Op for not establishing the travelling costs. Obviously SIL could have offered but she didn’t.

Thirdly, if you yourself had paid for the tickets in the first place you might have a point about replacement tickets being sent to you, but you didn’t pay for them.

You have lost nothing here, you’re not entitled to anything.

I bet you wish you’d moved the date now so your DH could have accompanied you all .

Thanks for all the replies. The many that disagree with me haven't changed my opinion.

Jesus Christ 😂😂 why bother

If DN had found £100 on the ground during his day out with you, would you expect him to hand that over as well?

I agree that if SIL had more manners she would have offered to buy lunch or pay for petrol. But I don't think you can demand the tickets. It was an unexpected windfall that was given to DN from the company. You're not a party to that exchange at all, regardless of how DN came to be in the situation to begin with.

Thankyou.

Excellent example of MN reading comprehension....i.e. making things up as you go along with no basis on reality because youre too excited for the opportunity to call a stranger names from the safety of your phone screen...

SIl had already had 2 free tickets thabks to your generosity, I would expect her to offer the others to you. It's not as if her DS couldn't complete the course because of injury or bad weather, which might be slightly different, the new tickets were compensation for something he didn't even want! If you'd been in a rush or hungry so not bothered to go and watch the go pro footage he wouldn't have even known his hadn't worked!

Although your DH can't have wanted to go that badly or surely you'd have arranged the original outing for when he could come?

Where have I said that I asked SIL for a contribution to the tickets? I didn't and I wouldn't.

I didn't ask for petrol money and I'd be driving there anyway regardless of whether she came or DH came, there was no extra expenditure.

You're right I didn't pay for the tickets, it's not about the money at all. It's the experience.

No, I don't wish I'd move the date actually. It was a lovely day out and I'm glad DN got to enjoy it.

Exactly.

I was even the one who said, let's go and watch the video clip. It hadn't crossed anyone else's mind.

This is probs the most sensible thing to do

Anyway, I'm going to go now because I've no doubt that adding more context will result in me be accused of being petty.

That's for everyone's thoughts. I still feel the same but it's shown me that others share SILs perspective which is fine. Just not what I'd have done.

Mumsnet is weird sometimes. Of course SIL should offer you the tickets, she got a free day out!

Crikey!

I didn't ask for petrol money and I'd be driving there anyway regardless of whether she came or DH came, there was no extra expenditure

Why bloody mention it then?

I drove a 4 hour round trip to get us all there, no fuel contribution either.

The thing is that those tickets are your dn and not your sil. They are not hers to give away. It would be nice if the second ticket was offered to your dh but probably will not be.

So 4 tickets were given as a Christmas present to OP. She and three others then used those tickets. So the Christmas present tickets have been used, regardless of which combination of people used them.

DN's camera didn't work, so he got a ticket in compensation, along with a parent ticket to accompany. Those tickets belong to DN, as his experience was affected. He obviously needs to redo the experience bec part of his experience was faulty. They're not just a random set of new tickets.

It'd be like having a voucher for 4 dinners that OP take SIL and DN to. For some reason there was an issue with DN's dinner and he couldn't enjoy it fully. The restaurant give him a voucher for a new meal. The OP should not be entitled to that free meal voucher bec there was nothing wrong with her dinner.