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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I should get these free tickets?

268 replies

Purplepluhs292 · 16/03/2023 09:08

I was given a family voucher for an activity for Christmas. DH couldn't make it due to work commitments and DD did want to do it so DS and I went with my SIL and nephew.

The company films the activity on a go pro. None of us wanted the video but we went to the reception to watch the videos afterwards just for fun. DNs camera hadn't recorded the activity so the company have said he can come back another time with an accompanying adult to do it again.

Now baring in mind the original tickets were my chritmas gift, I didn't ask my SIL for any money for them and DN didn't actually want the video AIBU to think SIL should give the replacement tickets to me?

They're not designated to any particular name, they've just been sent to SIL email account. I know DH would like to do the activity and DS would love to do it again.

OP posts:
WinterMusings · 16/03/2023 10:02

DevantMaJardin · 16/03/2023 09:10

YABU and massively grabby. The company gave those tickets so DN and an accompanying adult could come back. SIL bought the tickets in the first place. I think you'll be embarrassing yourself if you ask for the second set of free tickets.

I don't think it's the OP embarrassing herself!

Fragrantandfoolish · 16/03/2023 10:02

Purplepluhs292 · 16/03/2023 10:01

I wonder what replies I'd have had if I'd posted this from SIL perspective?

The same, keeo the tickets why would you give them to your grabby sil.

Fragrantandfoolish · 16/03/2023 10:03

WinterMusings · 16/03/2023 10:02

I don't think it's the OP embarrassing herself!

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Think you will find you’re in the minority with that view

XelaM · 16/03/2023 10:03

Can you offer that your husband takes your nephew?

WhatAmIDoingWrong123 · 16/03/2023 10:04

I’d probably have asked you if you wanted them if I was your SIL, but wouldn’t dream of asking for them and certainly wouldn’t be tallying up who’s paid for what and how many miles I drove.

It does sound petty. You had your gift experience, what happens now has nothing to do with you.

IOnlycreatedaccountforthispost · 16/03/2023 10:04

The problem is that it is not really about what is fair or who is right.
I believe you are right to be pissed of that SIL hasn’t offered them to you, however, if you say nothing to her will you be more annoyed and bitter than if you say something and she refuses to give them to you? Only you can decide on what course of action to take but bear in mind (if you confront her) she might think she should keep them and that leads to even more problems 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
Purplepluhs292 · 16/03/2023 10:04

Fragrantandfoolish · 16/03/2023 10:00

Is it fuck what you’d do. Lol. You’d send your husband and son back again.😂

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No I wouldn't actually. I'd have also offered to pay in the 1st place and gone halves on petrol money. That's not a dig at SIL at all but that's genuinely what I'd have done and it's what I always do in situations like this.

OP posts:
Fragrantandfoolish · 16/03/2023 10:05

XelaM · 16/03/2023 10:03

Can you offer that your husband takes your nephew?

I think you mean ask. Because it’s still asking for one of the tickets

Fragrantandfoolish · 16/03/2023 10:05

Purplepluhs292 · 16/03/2023 10:04

No I wouldn't actually. I'd have also offered to pay in the 1st place and gone halves on petrol money. That's not a dig at SIL at all but that's genuinely what I'd have done and it's what I always do in situations like this.

Show quote history

So why aren’t you doing it now. Given your extreme altruism

Bournetilly · 16/03/2023 10:05

YABU they were given to your DN.
Maybe ask if your DH can take DN? They might appreciate this anyway with the long drive. But other than that I wouldn’t ask for the tickets.

ISpyNoPlumPie · 16/03/2023 10:06

If I were SIL, I'd (like to think I'd) offer the tickets back to you. If I were you, I'd be totally miffed if she didn't offer them back. I do think it is the right thing for her to do as you very kindly took her. However, I don't think I could ask for them back. I'd just be super pissed off and moan about it forever (and never invite her to anything every again because I'm bitter and vindictive).

curlyfries22 · 16/03/2023 10:07

I think you're getting very bogged down with the cost. It was YOUR present (the voucher for 4 people) and YOU chose to invite SIL and DN.

The 2 additional tickets were given to DN as compensation. They again have nothing to do with the cost or original voucher. If his go-pro had worked then they would not exist. If it had been DS's go-pro then he would have been offered the tickets. If it had been someone in the next group's they would have been offered the tickets.

However, you seem really resentful about the whole thing. You've asked for opinions and then aren't happy with people with differing ones. If you feel so entitled to them then ask SIL for them back, but don't be surprised if she's taken aback by you wanting to take a company's kind gesture off her son.

NKFell · 16/03/2023 10:09

The free tickets are clearly for your nephew as compensation so he should absolutely be allowed to go again.

Is the option for your DH to take him not a conversation you, your DH and SIL could have?

EyesOnThePies · 16/03/2023 10:09

I think it was graceless of SIL to seize the bonus tix without asking you.

Is she your DH’s sister? Could he ask her? Say he was really sorry to have missed out and give his ticket to her first time around and if she can’t use the new tix he’d love to go.

She still got a free trip for her and her Ds.

ijustneedanamefgs · 16/03/2023 10:09

Yabvu. If your dn camera hadn’t worked there wouldn’t be extra tickets. Is your sil interested in going again? If not get dh to take dn and pay for another ticket for ds

Riverlee · 16/03/2023 10:09

Are the tickets for all four people? If so, the original four people should go, or you have two and sil have two.

Addymontgomeryfan · 16/03/2023 10:10

Your SIL is being a complete CF here. I also can't believe people are calling you grabby.

SIL of course should have passed the tickets on to you, it's what any normal person would have done.

A lesson for the future will be never to take her anywhere again.

Fragrantandfoolish · 16/03/2023 10:10

Addymontgomeryfan · 16/03/2023 10:10

Your SIL is being a complete CF here. I also can't believe people are calling you grabby.

SIL of course should have passed the tickets on to you, it's what any normal person would have done.

A lesson for the future will be never to take her anywhere again.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Original poster
Purplepluhs292 · 16/03/2023 10:11

curlyfries22 · 16/03/2023 10:07

I think you're getting very bogged down with the cost. It was YOUR present (the voucher for 4 people) and YOU chose to invite SIL and DN.

The 2 additional tickets were given to DN as compensation. They again have nothing to do with the cost or original voucher. If his go-pro had worked then they would not exist. If it had been DS's go-pro then he would have been offered the tickets. If it had been someone in the next group's they would have been offered the tickets.

However, you seem really resentful about the whole thing. You've asked for opinions and then aren't happy with people with differing ones. If you feel so entitled to them then ask SIL for them back, but don't be surprised if she's taken aback by you wanting to take a company's kind gesture off her son.

I'm not getting bogged down with the cost. I'm just adding context. This was an expensive activity.

Thanks for all the replies. The many that disagree with me haven't changed my opinion.

I won't be asking for the tickets but I do think the right thing would have been for SIL to offer them to DH, given the opportunity to take DN at least.

OP posts:
prescribingmum · 16/03/2023 10:12

If you wanted to do the activity with your family instead of taking SIL, why did you not just rebook the original date for one you could all go to?

I do agree the polite thing would be for her to offer the complimentary tickets to you but if it was an activity I wanted to do with my family, I would have rearranged it so that could happen in the first place

prescribingmum · 16/03/2023 10:13

Assuming SIL is DH's sister, I would just get him to propose taking your nephew when using the tickets so he can experience it too...

Floralnomad · 16/03/2023 10:14

The point is though that your nephew never got to see his video, irrespective of whether he would have bought it and that is why he’s been invited back .

Verylongtime · 16/03/2023 10:14

Purplepluhs292 · 16/03/2023 09:32

I don't think I'm being grabby at all.

The tickets are expensive (£100 each). I didn't ask for any contribution to them doing the activity. I drove a 4 hour round trip to get us all there, no fuel contribution either.

It seems to me the polite thing to do for SIL to ask if DH wants the free tickets. It's 100% what I'd do if the roles were reversed.

But you got the tickets for free yourself. You said so. They were given to you. And now you want even more free tickets.

WinterMusings · 16/03/2023 10:14

Fragrantandfoolish · 16/03/2023 10:03

Think you will find you’re in the minority with that view

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@Fragrantandfoolish

dud you even bother to read the post I was replying to?

piedbeauty · 16/03/2023 10:15

Hmm, if your h had really wanted to go and was disappointed to miss out, then the best and fairest thing to do would be for DN and DH to use the free tickets...

Was this part of DH's Xmas present too? If so, he has not benefited from it at all, presumably through no fault of his own if he had to work?