Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is absolutely unacceptable?

186 replies

Marvwell · 15/03/2023 08:50

When I was 16 and just coming up to my GCSE exams - or actually more or less in the middle of them - I remember being in the living room of our house - my dad was there too - it was in the daytime - weekday I think - and not a celebration of any kind - and my mum was absolutely hammered in a way that's embarrassing to everyone else if there's no obvious drinking context and everyone else is still sober. My dad was there and said upon witnessing this embarrassing behaviour - when you've got a good job like your mother, you're allowed to behave like that. Just for context my mum did have a high status senior management position.

AIBU to think my mum's behaviour was totally unacceptable when there's a child of 16 in the house and my Dad was totally unreasonable for enabling/trying to condone it?

OP posts:
Anotherturnipforthebooks · 15/03/2023 08:52

If it was a one off (which it sounds like it was) then I don't think this is a big deal at all.

You were 16, not 3.

Annoyingwurringnoise · 15/03/2023 08:53

Well, yeah, it’s not ideal, but unless there’s a whole other backstory you aren’t mentioning then I can’t imagine it’s PTSD worthy.

FiveShelties · 15/03/2023 08:54

How long ago was this?

Donnashair · 15/03/2023 08:55

Not ideal.

as a one off, I don’t think it’s a huge issue.

I saw my mum drunk a couple of times. Definitely did not create any trauma or upset of any sort.

unclebuck · 15/03/2023 08:55

It sounds like you do not know the whole story, or that you do but are not saying.

BeachDayz · 15/03/2023 08:55

How old are you now? If you’re older than 17 it’s unreasonable to be focusing on it, that’s weird, it was just a moment in time.

Cheeseandhoney · 15/03/2023 08:55

What’s your real issue, how old are you now.

I can’t see why your mother getting twatted on the rare occasion is this big an issue for you

7Worfs · 15/03/2023 08:55

Was it a one-time only thing?

Was there a work event where alcohol consumption was expected?

Original poster
Marvwell · 15/03/2023 08:55

Anotherturnipforthebooks · 15/03/2023 08:52

If it was a one off (which it sounds like it was) then I don't think this is a big deal at all.

You were 16, not 3.

No it definitely wasn't a one off - the previous summer she'd fallen over through drink while I had friends in the house /she'd sent me and my dad out of the house one day CIA she'd been drinking at 9am - there are more distressing incidents ..

OP posts:
Original poster
Marvwell · 15/03/2023 08:56

FiveShelties · 15/03/2023 08:54

How long ago was this?

A long time - 16:17 years ago

OP posts:
Original poster
Marvwell · 15/03/2023 08:56

BeachDayz · 15/03/2023 08:55

How old are you now? If you’re older than 17 it’s unreasonable to be focusing on it, that’s weird, it was just a moment in time.

32

OP posts:
FfeminyddCymraeg · 15/03/2023 08:56

Have you posted about this before? It seems very familiar.

JustFrustrated · 15/03/2023 08:57

You're being OTT.

It was a one off (I'll now wait for the drip feed that it wasn't).

Parents are human. Occasionally, this may surprise you, we don't tell our children everything. And occasionally we make decisions that see us drunk at 3pm when no one else is.

Last summer, I was incredibly drunk by 3pm. Fell asleep at 5pm and woke the next day.

Okay the kids weren't with us, but I was still the only drunk person - in the house. I'd been out having a boozy lunch and when I got home DH hadn't. It happens.

As rare one offs, it really doesn't matter.

Cheeseandhoney · 15/03/2023 08:57

Marvwell · 15/03/2023 08:55

No it definitely wasn't a one off - the previous summer she'd fallen over through drink while I had friends in the house /she'd sent me and my dad out of the house one day CIA she'd been drinking at 9am - there are more distressing incidents ..

Show quote history

Still not getting it op. So these incidents are up to a year apart.

people occasionally get drunk, it’s not ideal but certainly not something you should be trying to weaponise

how old are you and why are you going after her?

Original poster
Marvwell · 15/03/2023 08:57

7Worfs · 15/03/2023 08:55

Was it a one-time only thing?

Was there a work event where alcohol consumption was expected?

No - no drinking context at all

OP posts:
Cheeseandhoney · 15/03/2023 08:57

Marvwell · 15/03/2023 08:56

32

Show quote history

Oh dear.

Donnashair · 15/03/2023 08:58

Marvwell · 15/03/2023 08:55

No it definitely wasn't a one off - the previous summer she'd fallen over through drink while I had friends in the house /she'd sent me and my dad out of the house one day CIA she'd been drinking at 9am - there are more distressing incidents ..

Show quote history

What about this incident, in your op, was distressing?

I think this is going depend how you view things.

I don’t think what you describe is distressing. Unless it’s all the time. I don’t drink, but don’t really see the issue with your mum being drunk on 3 occasions.

Original poster
Marvwell · 15/03/2023 08:58

JustFrustrated · 15/03/2023 08:57

You're being OTT.

It was a one off (I'll now wait for the drip feed that it wasn't).

Parents are human. Occasionally, this may surprise you, we don't tell our children everything. And occasionally we make decisions that see us drunk at 3pm when no one else is.

Last summer, I was incredibly drunk by 3pm. Fell asleep at 5pm and woke the next day.

Okay the kids weren't with us, but I was still the only drunk person - in the house. I'd been out having a boozy lunch and when I got home DH hadn't. It happens.

As rare one offs, it really doesn't matter.

No wasn't a one off - she was frequently drunk and aggressive

OP posts:
bunnypenny · 15/03/2023 08:58

FfeminyddCymraeg · 15/03/2023 08:56

Have you posted about this before? It seems very familiar.

Yeah this is very familiar. Sure it was posted a few months ago.

Keeween · 15/03/2023 08:59

A couple of events, 15+ years ago. Honestly just let it go.

ShadowPuppets · 15/03/2023 09:00

bunnypenny · 15/03/2023 08:58

Yeah this is very familiar. Sure it was posted a few months ago.

Show quote history

Yes, I remember it too.

smm88 · 15/03/2023 09:00

Sounds like you are holding on to anger about your childhood.

Perhaps some counselling may help

Cheeseandhoney · 15/03/2023 09:01

No wasn't a one off - she was frequently drunk and aggressive

so why are you posting about some event when you were 16?

if you think your mother is an alcoholic then start a thread on that.

are you ok, as I’m going to have to be honest, this is weird as fuck

Iwrotethelyricstoaxlf · 15/03/2023 09:01

FfeminyddCymraeg · 15/03/2023 08:56

Have you posted about this before? It seems very familiar.

There was a very similar post earlier this year. Think it got zapped.

57NewPosts · 15/03/2023 09:01

I think it can be unsettling for kids to see their parents drunk. Even at 16. The situation wasn’t great but I wonder why you are dwelling on it now? What has happened?