To not know what I want my title to be?

[KeithBurtons]

Divorced 6 years, kept surname but don't really want to be known as Mrs any more. I'd like to put some distance between my marriage and who I am now but my options are limited:

Mrs- presumption that I am married or widowed
Miss- presumption that I've never been married
Ms- presumption that I'm divorced (I know that this theoretically is the option that doesn't tell the reader anything about marital status but a straw poll of 15 friends tells me that nobody knows a woman who has never been married that uses Ms, all the Ms they know are divorced)

Mx- suggests nothing about marital status but presumption that I am transgender.

I don't want to be Mrs Burtons any more but none of the other options are any better really- I'm sort of erring towards Miss but why should my title give any indication of my marital status? It really feels completely irrelevant and it's pissing me right off. On the other hand, if it is irrelevant why do I want to get away from being Mrs so much??

YABU- you're overthinking this
YANBU- I can see why you're annoyed

My 6 year old is listed as a Ms and she has never been married obviously. I am a Ms and I am divorced, but I was also a Ms while I was married and before I was married.

Everyone I know, bar my elderly mum and her friends, uses Ms - whether married, single or divorced. It has no connotations at all.

I'm unsure what you would even have to change? My "title" isn't on any accounts or documents. The only time I'm ever asked for it is when I book a flight.

I’ve been Ms from the time I started uni until now several decades later. I’ve been married for decades as well, never divorced. I’ve never used Miss (after 18yo), or Mrs. YABVY not to mention quite odd.

I don’t know anyone under retirement age who uses Miss or Mrs (or who changed their names on marriage). I have been Ms since childhood and still am now I’m married.
Does it matter if people think you are divorced? They wouldn’t be wrong.

YANBU.
I loved going by Miss before I got married and I love being Mrs now. However I know plenty of friends who are Ms. Some of those friends are single, some married, some divorced... so it is a more generic title than you might think.
I wouldn't keep the surname though if I were divorced, I'd go back to my maiden name because to me it would be going back to me as me without the husband's influence (not sure if I've explained that very well sorry! In the midsts of tidying at the moment- tidying/procrastinating..)
Go with what you're most comfortable with

Um loads of women under retirement age go by Miss or Mrs and take their husband's surname 😂 I loved taking my husband's name and sharing the same name as him and our children and I was in my 30s at the time.
Conversely I only know one woman who hasn't taken her husband's name after marriage.

I'm well under retirement age and use Mrs rather than Dr. Ms seems very outdated to me.

The divorced people I know go back to Miss,
the single, middle aged women I know go go Ms, unmarried.

Did you get that backwards, or do you really think that Ms. is more outdated than Mrs?

Most women I know who aren’t Dr are Ms. It’s a pretty equal mix of married and unmarried. Only a few are divorced.

I think whether a woman changes her name upon marriage (or divorce) is a completely different topic than the one being discussed here.

No - Ms was a 'thing' when I was at university in the late 80s/early 90s. It never floated my boat. I was a Miss then, and I'm a Mrs now (despite actually being Dr). I think it has more to do with age, though, than with being married (as I'm divorced). For me, Miss and Mrs are a bit like Master and Mr. I wouldn't address my student sons as Master, because they're not little boys.

I updated my bank account and at least two professional bodies I was a member of at the time, all of whom used titles on paper correspondence. My title is still on my bank card.

There is that…. I remember when I first got mine, I visited my grandad in his care home. He was very proud, but as he’d been a farmer all his days, he didn’t 100% understand it. In his speaking to others in the care home, he had just said ‘my granddaughter, the doctor, is coming to see me today.’ (You can see where this is going, can’t you?!)
I had a queue of little old ladies (mainly), wanting to talk to me about their problematic knees, eyesight, and bowels. Very happy to chat, but my qualifications in comparative literature weren’t going to help much. 🤣

Disclaimer: I do tend to use "Dr" when I want people to take me seriously. It shouldn't make a difference, but it does.

Wow! Really? I wonder if the use of titles in the UK is more prevalent than where I am in the US? All of my bank accounts, etc. are in my name as Firstname Lastname. No title involved.

What mini pie said

You earned that right!

Not much on MN makes me genuinely laugh, but this did!

I have a PhD in Critical Theory. It does not come in particularly useful, but I do like to use it when I'm being arsey.

I'm Ms the rest of the time, as I have been since I was about 12.

Did he love taking your name too?

I'm divorced and I use Miss. Just because I don't really like Ms.

That is very kind, but I'm exactly the same person as the Mrs Fahrted who gets treated like someone who has barely been to school. I should be treated as an intelligent individual whatever my title.

I have been Ms since I was a schoolgirl.

the only women I know under the age of 75 who use Miss or Mrs are school teachers. it never even occurred to me they might use those titles outside of school settings.