To NOT want DH and I to see our respective locations on Find my iPhone?

[Thisismenow2]

I have always been able to see DH’s location on Find my iPhone (although I rarely bother looking - only if he running late for dinner!) and he’s able to see mine. It’s not that I want to get up to anything untoward but I just think it would be better if we couldn’t see each other’s locations.

AIBU to think most partners DON’T share their locations?

This is exactly what an ex colleague of mine would say. She was also constantly on the phone to her DH throughout the day. It was so unhealthy and co dependent. She always seemed under the impression women would jump
on him. She need not have worried.

I really doubted she went to as many large festivals as she claimed tbh although to be fair her DH was a drummer in a small time band.

We have life 360 after adult Dd recommended it when we bought Ds a phone. It pings when people leave and arrive at home other than that I don't check much. Adult dd is moved out but still wanted to be in our circle. Think she regretted that when I clocked a top speed notification from her and bollocked her 😤
But it's very useful if needed. Treated as a just in case here but not monitored closely at all.

@VioletaDelValle

Not freaked out

Just totally bizarre

We share ours - I can't see why you wouldn't want to

Our locations are off for both of us, neither feel the need to track each other - or check how far away you are to 'get dinner on' - just not necessary.

I know a few couples who do have it switched on and it's 100% to do with lack of trust.

Thank you @Wishawisha
That's useful information. I'm still intrigued by the language used though
I'm not ashamed, it's not a secret, I'm embarrassed....
Maybe it's just my take, but there's an implication that embarrassment/shame or deceit (other posts) seem to be default reasons for not 'sharing'. All of the things on my list I would consider sharing, just like the £5 note in my purse of my navy jumper, or my thoughts on abortion, but you ask first and give a reason/explanation, its not an open yes.

@jigsaw234

I can't see why you would

Each to their own though......

We go on driving holidays as a group so have multiple cars travelling at different times so we found it useful to have a group in life 360. I never bother switching it off but don't check it unless we're travelling and as far as I know my friends don't check either but I wouldn't be bothered if they did.

@DrMeredithGrey2023

Oh dear. I would hate to have to give up my evenings entertainment. There's nothing I love more than settling down for the evening, cuppa in hand, eyes absolutely glued to my phone, waiting for the buzz that comes with someone's little circle moving....where are they going? Why? Who with? It's just exhilarating.

Is this a serious post? Surely not.

Honestly, I would likely make your anxiety worse. If the app stops working or connection goes funny, it can show the phone in all sorts.of weird places.

I had it for a journey with a friend because the weather was really bad, we wanted to be able to track each other just in case. I arrived at our meeting point, she had messaged a few hours earlier to let me know her child needed changing and they were going to stop at a service station. I checked the app when I arrived and her live location (not last know, actual 'live' location) said she was stopped on the motorway near the services. This was about 3 hours after she was stopping. I tried to call, no service, call dropping. I started to panic something must have happened. She rolled the car in next to me about 15 minutes later. Deleted the app that day, never again.

We have it on, I quite often wonder about the countryside with the dogs on my own & after my friend fell & broke her leg in that situation I asked DH to put it on incase of an emergency (it would be easier for him to see where I was rather than me try to explain!)
The only time I check DH location is if I'm expecting him home & he's late, he rides a motorbike & I have anxiety so if I can see he is on his way & moving it stops me panicking.
Neither of us have anything to hide & it also works out well if one of you has had a long day the other can run a bath/have dinner ready for when you arrive home!

No, it most definitely isn't serious.

It seems that is the impression that a lot of people have when it comes to sharing locations though, like those that do have it are under constant surveillance.

Most of this could just be solved with communicating with your husband though - a text or call.

I dont like the idea of my husband knowing exactly where I am every second or every day and there's no trust issues here. It's just weird. I'm not in 1984.

We both have location tracking enabled. It gives me a feeling of security when I’m away from home on my own.

I think most couples do have it on, if they have linked apple accounts as it's the default setting.

If you have entirely independent accounts I assume you have to set it up so they probably don't.

My account, dh's and 20y DD's accounts are on a shared family account as it means we can also share music, some files if teen want, shared family calendar (as well as personal/work ones that are separate), shared Apple Music/TV account, and we have a larger iCloud account which can be shared for back ups. The default for those is find my iPhone is on though it's fairly easy to turn off if you wanted to.

I find that perspective very odd. I share location but there’s nothing untoward, it’s simply a safety precaution. I run/walk/cycle and live rurally. I try and tell dh where I’m going but sometimes he’s at work or I’ve found previously that a road might be flooded or I set off and decide that I fancy a different route today. Some of the places I run I don’t see another person so if I was to have a fall or something and was unable to call I might never be found. I could just share location when I’m running but I’m likely to forget so it’s easier to leave it switched on and to be honest it really doesn’t affect me either way if dh can see where I am. Dh has his on too - not because I’ve asked, just because I do it so he decided to - and I can honestly say that I’ve never once checked it. If he’s late home one of us will ring to see what’s happening so there is really no need.

Each to their own. We can track each other locations, but I know many couples who don't and don't intend to.
I must say, find my iphone once saved my sanity when my husband finished work at 6pm and I didn't hear from him until 10pm! I knew he was still at work, and it helped me not to lose my mind thinking he's in car accident somewhere and no one found him yet.

So all ours are all on find my phone and shared with the family account. But it isn't something any of us use regularly. It's certainly not something we use day to day that's for certain. Married almost 30t now and together longer with no trust issues. It's there for convenience if needed but tbh it's usually used mostly for locating a phone's that gone missing - so we can ping it and find it quicker as it's usually 'lost' in the house or car.

You don't have to set it up though? So that's the first puzzle.

If you have linked iPhone accounts - so can share iCloud benefits, TV/Music, app accounts, etc it's the default setting.
It isn't if your iCloud accounts aren't linked though.

We do.
But I work for a missing persons charity. So have heard one too many stories of criminal acts and if the victim had some sort of tracking device the outcome could have been very different.

it's useful. if one of us is home first and cooking dinner, you can see how long the other is likely to be to know when to put food in the oven. etc. boring mundane stuff.

Do people really time their cooking around their husbands' arrivals home?!

We do, though not through tracking. Just routine as Dh arrived home around the same time each evening.

We like to eat together.
I don't want to eat any later.
I do most of the cooking as I'm in first.
So I cook dinner for about 10 minutes after Dh is due home, unless he calls me to let me know he will be late getting home.
It's conveying for him.

Don't worry - he does his fair share the other household chores. He has done the same for me too when I've worked later and he's been home early.

Genuinely interested, why do you mention trust issues?

A lot of people will mention the trust thing as it's one of the reasons that people who don't use it always mention. I've seen so many of these threads and trust is always questioned - in both sides of the argument. So suspect the poster, and others, are just putting it in their post as they know it comes up every single thread.

@itsthefinalcountdown1 this is tricky when I can't take calls in work.

I think in some cases it's trust issues in some it's used as crutch for anxiety tbh. In some it just works for people but I strongly suslect the former 2 are more prevalent