More of a WWYD re inherited house

[Pbbananabagel]

So my Sibling and I inherited a house from our parents which they have been living in for the last few years.
with the cost of living crisis obviously money is tight for both our families and I am now desperate to either sell to be honest as it would be a life changing amount of money at present.
my sibling obviously has no intention of leaving but says they cannot buy me out at present due to lack of finance herself but this is really impacting on my family of 4 whereas they only have themself and partner to think of as child is significantly older and at Uni now. They pay all bills and maintenance on the house and I’ve never wanted to demand anything more but I feel like I’m being taking my a mug now.

aibu to be really frustrated? I don’t want to piss them off as they’re the only family I have now but I really need to figure out how to move this issue forward.

They pay all bills and maintenance on the house

Don't applaud a fish for swimming.
Sibling lives there - who else do you think should be paying?
Just like you pay all the bills & maintenance on YOUR house?

I wondered this.

Why can't they go back to doing what they were doing previously?

If she can't buy you out she has to sell.

In no other situation would this be tolerated!

Just seen your second post about you being self-employed running a coffee van and business being bad. It sounds as if at least one of you needs to get a permanent full-time job with a pension and all the other advantages that a regular fixed income will bring in. I'd suggest you go for it. Too many self-employed couples reaching retirement age without any savings or pension provision.

It sounds as if you're hoping that the proceeds from the sale of your parents' property will help make life easier while the coffee van business isn't bring money in. Please don't just use you inheritance money to bolster day-to-day living while you hope your business will pick up. I've seen this happen in my own family: an £80k inherited lump sum that could have grown and been life-changing in the future spent on supporting a failing business. A few years down the line the money was gone, the business was dead and they were on their uppers.

Is it big enough that you can tell them you're moving in too?!
Ok they're paying bills, but as it's half yours they should be paying you something as well, have they been?

You need to talk to her.

If you r business goes completely you will not be able to claim benefits when you own half of a property.

You need to tell her that.

Also if you were in that position you would be expected to move out of your current home and into the one you own with no mortgage.

I doubt your DS will want you and your family moving in with her.

Hi Pbbananabagel.
Can you please clarify this:
Did your sister move in as a full time carer for your mum? For how many years?
If they had not moved in could your mum had to pay for professional carer to look after her or gone to a care home?
What could have been the cost of either.?
Her family was also involved in your mother’s care or not?
You say you lived far and helped when you could.
Frankly what was your role in your mother’s care.
Did you come to look after your mum sometimes to give your sister a break?
Did you ever take time to escort your mum at any hospital appointments?
Only with full facts we can reach a fair comment

I've always felt grateful and we’ve always gotten on so well I honestly don’t know how to approach it as every time I mention how stretched we are she says she is too.

Sure, feel gratitude that your sibling cared for your mum.
But don't let it cloud your judgement: presumably sibling has been, & now is, benefitting from living rent-free?

As to how to mention it, just be upfront & direct.
"It's time to get the house valued, as we are are out knees financially & it needs to be sold."

Your sibling cannot possibly expect to continue living for free in a shared asset & blocking your access to the cash value.

This too! Surely there's an executor of the will?

You need to get legal advice on this. Who did what for your mum in the past is totally irrelevant to the inheritance/will situation.

If the property was left to you 50/50, then your sister should be paying half the rental valuation to live there, and you are equally responsible for repair bills.

Get legal advice, then ask her to sell or get a Letting Agent to value it for monthly rent, make sure the property meets rental requirements, and get the LA to draw up a tenancy.

This situation will never change unless you do something about it.

But she cannot continue to live there rent free while you struggle.

I would speak to a property lawyer and try to get in writing that they pay you 50% minus agreed maintenance (but not nice to haves which they can do themselves or not at all) and an agreement that they need to buy you out within 2 years or the house goes on the market.
To add to that I know somebody who had a half share in a house, the other person offered to buy them out for x which was under what it was worth, he said fine, if that's what it's worth, I will buy you out for that. So the moral is that some sort of method to agree a fair price is probably worthwhile...

If there is a will stating that Op & her sister have been left the house equally then none of this is relevant.

OP who is the executor of the Will? Where are you with probate?

Depending on the terms of the will the house can be sold regardless of your sister’s tenancy. You effectively haven’t had your share of your inheritance yet.

You will need to pay a solicitor to sort this out.

OP is not required to allow her sister to live there. If she wants it sold for the her portion of the inheritance upfront, and her sister can’t afford to buy her out, the sister will have to sell. The sister can still buy her own place with her portion.

My mother’s will, made very late in life, stipulated that my brother could remain living in the house rent free for his lifetime or until he chose otherwise. My sister and I already had houses and families, brother was single and had lived back with mum since our father died in the 1980s. Is it fair? No, if he outlives us then our 1/3 shares of our mother’s house will eventually go straight to our own adult families. Would we contest the will and force him out? No, he’s alone, in his 70s and can’t buy us out. It is what it is. We seldom speak.

The OP has stated that the sister moved in two months prior to the mother's death, so she hasn't offered years of unpaid care. The mystery is where the sister and husband were living before and what's happened to their former home.

You need to be quite firm really as the house belongs to both of you, and they seem to think they can just stay there. It needs to be sold.

I don’t think asking for ‘half rent’ is a good idea as it’s awkward to get in a situation like that with family, they might take the p or say they can’t afford it some months. And you say you need the proceeds from sale now.

Totally irrelevant what your sister did or didn't do re caring. 50/50 is 50/50. My brother and I will inherit my father's house. I wouldn't expect my brother to get less than 50% just because I did some caring at the end. You do caring for love, not with the expectation of getting something extra for it.

Assuming that the OP's father had left everything to OP's mum, there would be no IHT payable on an estate worth less than £650k (his £325k threshold allowance and her £325k threshold allowance). From some of the background detail supplied by OP, I suspect that the estate is under the IHT threshold.

Agree about legal advice being needed as a priority

I do understand the awkwardness here, and your sister's unlikely to make things easier while she's enjoying a free house, but if probate's been granted and it's now officially half yours I'm wondering about possible financial impacts on you

For a start, should your business fail (god forbid) and you need to claim benefits, the asset may kill any entitlement stone dead - so since your DS already knows you're struggling I wonder if that would provide a way to move this forward?

Overall I agree with most PPs that she needs to pay rent less half the maintenance costs, but from what you've said I doubtt that'll be popular either

So your sister is living rent free and can’t raise a mortgage for half the value of the house?

Your sister is taking the piss and you both know this so what will you do?

You either accept that she’s never going to willingly give you your half or you get tough with her and tell her you’re planning to instruct a solicitor to manage the sale and will be contacting a local Estate Agent to get the ball rolling.

Remind her that after selling the house, she can use her half of the proceeds and look for a cheaper property to buy.

All of that is irrelevant if the property was left 50/50 in a will.

It does seem rather calculated. I’m presuming your sister / bil were renting. Moving in short term would not have warranted giving up a rental.

I can imagine you’d have been fine for your mum to pay for your sister’s rent whilst she was caring for her of money was tight. I understand they were giving your dm care, which she probably preferred to being in a care home and / or hospital. Much as I imagine you’re grateful to them, this really was a choice and as it has already been pointed out that short term end of life care is not chargeable.

As for half the back rent, I’m not sure if op could get it Billy. That would make it very messy. My concern would be adverse possession. If you don’t force the situation op, your sister can try to lay claim to your half of the property after 10 years. She could win.

This is a very good point. @Pbbananabagel you need to lay this out to your sister as you have to us and tell her that you both need to come together and resolve this. Tell her you are also going to ask for advice as to how you both can progress this. It was an asset and should have been sold at the time.

Why minus maintenance? If minus maintenance, it should be plus rent. Op would very likely be quids in there. I think that would be messy.

Advise your sister that the longer it takes before you are "bought out" - the value of the property will continue to rise and you're still entitled to half. The sooner she does it the better all round.