More of a WWYD re inherited house

[Pbbananabagel]

So my Sibling and I inherited a house from our parents which they have been living in for the last few years.
with the cost of living crisis obviously money is tight for both our families and I am now desperate to either sell to be honest as it would be a life changing amount of money at present.
my sibling obviously has no intention of leaving but says they cannot buy me out at present due to lack of finance herself but this is really impacting on my family of 4 whereas they only have themself and partner to think of as child is significantly older and at Uni now. They pay all bills and maintenance on the house and I’ve never wanted to demand anything more but I feel like I’m being taking my a mug now.

aibu to be really frustrated? I don’t want to piss them off as they’re the only family I have now but I really need to figure out how to move this issue forward.

I think the rules are if you inherited equally, if one wants to sell the house must be sold and money split between 2. In the meanwhile have an estate agent in to value house for rental. Ask your sibling to pay half going rent on house or house will need to be sold.

I'd force a sale. Your family also deserves to benefit from the inheritance, as stated in the Will.

Your 'd's should having been paying half rent all along. You can force a sale. I'd appeal to her hold nature once more and let her know you're doing this if she still refuses to sell. Sounds like you'll need a solicitor for her to take you seriously.

Tell them that if they don't agree to sell the house (on the market now, with a view to completing the sale within the next few months) or pay half market rent then you'll have to force a sale.

Presumably with half the proceeds of a family home they'll be able to buy a smaller house or flat outright or with a small mortgage, so affordable to them?

Unfortunately you need to get pushy or they will live there forever.
A court can order the sale - hopefully it won't get that far.
Speak to her properly and tell her that sadly you need the money and can't subsidise her any longer. Explain if the house isn't put on the market you will need to go to court.

Can you start with a conversation with her about her buying you out?
Ask her to get an accurate valuation on the property and to see if she can get a mortgage for your half.
I think it’ll be easier to get the ball rolling if you start with the assumption that she can stay in the house and discuss selling further down the line if she can’t get a reasonable mortgage

I would go to a solicitor and get your legal options in writing. Not to show her, but for you.

Yes she could pay you rent but that is a fast way to complete relationship breakdown imo. There needs to be a sale.

'She just says she's struggling too' but presumably she wouldn't be after the sale. That's the point - it's an inheritance for both of you, to benefit both of you.

I'm afraid your relationship with her is likely to be affected by this. I can't say that it won't. But frankly it will be affected by not getting your inheritance either.

If she absolutely won't talk about it you will have to get the solicitor to write a letter. But see if you can avoid that. Keep talking to her, keep going over there.

they moved In a couple of months before mum passed, she had lung cancer so they stayed with her through it as I live away from the area.

so they provided care? who decided they should move in? was there any discussion about what would happen after? what was the housing situation before?

I agree with pp's, your relationship is going to be affected no matter what now. They clearly have no plan to change anything and has someone else said this could go on forever.

They moved in to care for your mum when she was ill. That's lovely but I have to admit the suspicious part of me that doesn't know your family and has little info to go on questions whether that was the only motive in moving in. What did they move out of? Do they work? Why can't they afford for the house to be sold? Why are things it tight for them with no rent or mortgage to pay?

They have had four years being rent and mortgage free. They haven't been able to save any of that? With half the value of the house they won't be able to get a mortgage to buy another home? I would feel differently if they had said can we stay for x long to save x amount etc?

My mum recently passed. The house is now dads but if he doesn't need to sell for care it will go to my sister who cared 24/7 for my mum for years. That's my dads wish and I'm very happy with that. She didn't just lose the income she would have earned in that time but future income from not being in the workforce and would never be able to rent or buy on her own. Even with this I don't think your situation sounds right or fair.

The will is you both benefit. I'd have a frank conversation about selling.

She is not executing on the wishes of the will.

Force the sale.

You need to reframe this on your head OP. You sound guilty and like you want her to do you a favour. The reality is she's potentially trying to steal your inheritance. It was for both of you. Any decent person if they moved in would be trying to resolve with you the situation asap. The fact she's refusing to talk about it means she knows what she's doing.

Can you force a sale?

You need legal advice. I'd consult a solicitor. Do and try and talk it out with your sister to resolve amicably too, at the same time

Frank conversation needed.
Cost out the benefit of x years sibling has had of not paying you rent.

Convo would go roughly
We need to talk about mum and/or dad.
Empathise re end of life care (its a significant burden that was shouldered)
Explain your financial hardship. I'd ham it up and say i was accruing debt due to cost of living crisis.
The house they are in is significantly bigger than they need and while you love them and want to be accommodating you really need the money now.
They need to remortgage and buy you out at market rate or you need to sell. You are coming up to easter which is a good tome to list.

If they dont want to do that you need to find out why. It may well be they cant face clearing out the house - can you help with that?
If its just that like the house my questions would be: if fortunes were reversed how would you feel? what is their plan to give you half the inheritance?

I agree, they need to pay rent on your hall

I wouldn’t give the option to pay rent- it needs to be sold. I’d seek legal advice.

Because it's her home probably

So they took care of your Mum while she was in the last stages of life (you didn't, but you could have helped), they have paid all bills and maintenance on the house since your Mum passed, but can't even have a conversation with them about putting it on the market and moving on?

They don't owe you any rent. You owe them nursing fees if anything.

Who actually owns the house? You need to tell them you want to sell and work out a way forwards.

You both with your partners need to see a Solicitor firstly to get the house put into your names. Has Probate been sorted yet, if not this needs doing. Myself and my Brother were in a similar situation, we also have a Sister in Law so my Brother had to pay us 2/3 of the value of the house, by paying all to SIL and me in part payments. With a Solicitor you can go through all the options, if she intends staying there, she either pays you rent or gets a mortgage to pay you half. Although she is your sister you should still get a legal document sorted between you for whatever you do.

If your DS/DB has lived there for 4 years they should have ample savings to move out on. They've got too comfortable and won't move out unless you force their hand. Your DM wanted you both to inherit, not for them to live there whilst you get nothing

Before saying anything you should get legal advice.

What did the will say? Ours is quite specific in that we want the assets realised and the money then divided.

so what would your option be if your mother was alive and well living in the house? Your husband wouldn't even consider the house as an 'asset' because it wouldn't be an option.
As ever on this site, the sniff of an inheritance sends everyone into the 'I'm entitled to this' 'it's not fair..' mode

I think you have to steel yourself, sit down with your sister and tell her it’s time to sell the house as it’s been years and you really need access to your inheritance.

If she say things are tight for them too, just say that you know but it doesn’t ease the pressure on you any and you need access to your inheritance. You might want to practice a few potential scenarios with your DH if you think it’s likely you’ll cave or get flustered if she pushes back.

If you’re prepared to take rent in lieu, then you can suggest that. But remember that such an arrangement could get tricky and it does look like you struggle with approaching these matters in a calm and straightforward way, so it probably wouldn’t be a great solution for you. If you go this route I would strongly suggest a proper contract that details how rent will be calculated and increased over time and how you will agree on and pay for maintenance, along with a deadline for her either buying you out or jointly selling the house in a few more years time.

Well of course you get on well. She’s trampling all over your boundaries.
Bet you won’t get on so we’ll once she knows you mean business.
There’s no way I would expect my siblings to subside my housing but that’s exactly what you’re doing for your dsis.