More of a WWYD re inherited house

[Pbbananabagel]

So my Sibling and I inherited a house from our parents which they have been living in for the last few years.
with the cost of living crisis obviously money is tight for both our families and I am now desperate to either sell to be honest as it would be a life changing amount of money at present.
my sibling obviously has no intention of leaving but says they cannot buy me out at present due to lack of finance herself but this is really impacting on my family of 4 whereas they only have themself and partner to think of as child is significantly older and at Uni now. They pay all bills and maintenance on the house and I’ve never wanted to demand anything more but I feel like I’m being taking my a mug now.

aibu to be really frustrated? I don’t want to piss them off as they’re the only family I have now but I really need to figure out how to move this issue forward.

Any emotional manipulation extras are irrelevant. The house was left to you and your sister, it should have been sold and the inheritance shared within a year or two of your mum dying. Your sister has saved £1000s by not paying her share of rent. Take emotion out of it.

I wouldn’t go down the sibling paying rent route. The house needs to be sold as the sibling can’t afford to buy out the OP’s half of the house.
I would approach the sibling again saying this and checking that they’ve explored all their options re buying the half as in they’ve spoke to a mortgage broker etc.
If this is the case and they still can’t buy the OP’s half of the house then the OP needs to see a solicitor and force a sale.

What a bizarre argument - If it wasn’t there OP would struggle on. But it is there and they’d rather have the money so their DC and they don’t have to struggle as much. Just as OP’s sister isn’t having to struggle as much as she’d have to if the house wasn’t there.

Are you going to suggest everyone who gets a pay rise gives it back to the company because “what if they didn’t give you a pay rise? One sniff of anything over minimum wage sends everyone into the “I’m entitled to this” “It’s not fair” mode. And perhaps we should all stop sending our kids to state schools because one hint of a public service and we’re just greedy users assuming our children are “entitled” to a public education at tax payer expense. Next thing you know I’ll be walking out of shops with goods I’ve paid for just because I feel entitled to them.

Hello
Who are the executors of the will? Has probate been granted?
The house comes with contents, are those of value to you, sentimental or otherwise.

This money could set you up for life. If you let your sister have the house you'll likely resent her and it will ruin your relationship. If you force a sale she'll resent you but both you and your sister will gain from it financially (unless she's done something with the mortgage that you don't know about)

You need legal advice. Your mum wanted you to have half, there's no reason why you shouldn't.

Who is executor? I'm in the same position at the moment.

If you want your share of the inheritance it has to be sold.

Getting rent off your sibling just prolongs the inevitable. Do not mix emotion and money.

Tell them you'll be selling your house and moving in with them.

But she wont be struggling after the house is sold, she ll have money?!

as every time I mention how stretched we are she says she is too.

If she’s living rent free and stretched she can’t afford the house. Time to speak to her and put your cards in the table.

‘We neee to sell the house, obviously you get first refusal, but I’m sending the estate agents round next week for a valuation’

Then do it.

They either have to give you a lump sum or get a contract drawn up where they pay you rent until your half has been paid off.

The fact that they haven’t paid you anything and doesn’t care that you’re not getting your inheritance tells me that they don’t want to pay and I don’t think them paying you rent is going to work.

I feel like they’re hoping you might just leave them to it and then forget about it.

Arrange a meet up and say you want it on the market by X date.

By ignoring your mum's wishes ( that you BOTH benefit from the house) you are ignoring her will!

This conversation is long overdue but if you go down the rent route you'll face all sorts of issues and be an unwilling, unappreciated landlord to a sibling to boot.

Op you know it needs to be sold. Why aren't you? Do you need approval from someone emotionally? You have been MORE than fair letting her stay rent free. Her financial situation is not yours to donate to (you're taking money that you're due and not spending on your own DC, would you do that with a salary? You're doing it with missing rent!).

Frame it as "this has been a temp setup to support you in the short term but we need a proper long term chat now" and make it clear that HER finances don't get to dictate 100% of the outcome.

She should be thanking you and agreeing to sell !

I’m guessing because if she sold she’d have to pay to rent somewhere whereas she gets this house for free!

P.s. she can't make you subsidise her indefinitely. She can make it legally complex and expensive and stressful but go back to basics: you cannot force someone to not cash in an inheritance in a house (even lifetime interest situations have exit points such as age. Death of living person, or exiting because a property is being neglected etc). The fact that she's pushing against it instead of saying thanks for the subsidy isn't normal or reasonable op.

Most people would have had to sell immediately rather than her living rent free all this time!

You need to tell your sister you need to meet as you have something important to discuss. I wouldn't go down the route
of her paying rent as she could frequently cry poverty and not pay you for couple months. If they gave up their own house to look after someone who had terminal cancer it sounds like they intended staying there all along!

Then meet and tell her you and DH are really struggling financially. Don't let her turn it round to be about her struggling too. Keep telling her you're desperately short of money, lay it on thick about bills mounting up you can't pay, can't afford food etc, Even say your business could go under.

Then tell her you desperately need your inheritance now and your mum would not want to see you struggling this way. Tell her you know she can't afford to buy you out so you'll be consulting a solicitor about selling the house. Say you know it will take time for sale to go through so that should give her and her DH plenty time to find somewhere they can afford.
But you must keep control of the discussion, don't let it become about her struggling financially, that's not really your problem and presumably they afforded rent before they moved in to your mums house.

Make sure you end the conversation that you will be seeing a solicitor to get the ball rolling and getting valuations from estate agents.

I think this is the best advice on the thread. She needs to either buy your half from you or sell the whole thing. Proceed gently and you may be able to save your sisterly relationship, though frankly she's not being very sisterly at the moment.

The rental option is not appealing to me and it leaves you liable for all sorts of costs eg what if the roof needs replacing? That would be an huge outlay even split in two. But if you do decide to do it, don't chase her for past rent if you want to try to maintain your relationship. Just make the arrangements going forward which is more than fair.

Owning a house, or part of a house, is only an investment if there is ever a chance of you selling. It sounds like you'd rather have a lump sum rather than a dribble of rent and half the responsibility for maintenance over the coming years or decades. That lump sum could find your dreams.

You really need a solicitor if your sister won't listen to you. My DH was in a similar position, it's really stressful when the other party won't co-operate.

I wouldn't bother with the rent issue particularly, just lay on the line that the property needs to be sold if your sister can't buy you out. That's the long and short of it, she either needs to give you half of its current value or it needs to be sold.

Who is the executor of your mum's will, if she made one?

You need to see a probate lawyer. What I would not do is impose rent in your sister without legal advice confirming that is appropriate. Bear in mind the house is half your sisters, she lives in it, and it is therefore unlikely a judge would turf her out should it come to a long and expensive legal battle/ court hearing. I'm sorry to say you have the short end if the stick.

Why are people talking about them paying rent? She doesn't want them to pay rent, she wants to sell the house and that is perfectly with her rights.

Book an appointment with a solicitor who deals with inheritance issues, find out exactly what your options are and then, if you decide to do so, take action.

This isn't a tenable situation. You own half the house and have the right to liquidise your asset. The fact that they can't afford to buy you out isn't your fault. I see others saying that this is likely to cause upset — but it's already caused upset to you. It should never have happened without them coming to some arrangement regarding renting your half of the property. They fact that they have been prepared to put you at a disadvantage indicates that they're the CFs.

I would sell and as soon as possible. You both get half the value to move on in your lives. They can put down a large deposit on a new home and you can use the money to free you up.

What will happen is that your half of the proceeds of the property will be kept in trust until such a point that the house is sold and the equity released. Which could possibly be decades.

Just tell them it’s time to sell.
Point out you’re paying a mortgage or rent. You won’t be able to pay maintenance bills on half an extra house. Sell the house 50/50 split as they have lived rent free for x long.
If they don’t like it tough, they inherited half a house, not a whole one.

This is nonsense.

Who is administering the estate? Does the estate have to pay Inheritance Tax? The person administering the estate needs to sort this out. This is why it is best to pay lawyers to sort out estates.

They're taking you for a mug. They get to live in the house so ofcourse they should maintain it, they're not doing you a favour. Tell them without any qualms that you need the money so you're selling your half. If they can't afford to buy it (presumably they can't) then they move out once the house sale goes through and you each get 50% of the sale. Don't let people walk all over you, family or not. Tell them next time you see them and then go straight to a solicitor to get the ball rolling. Good luck.

I would have a conversation with your sibling saying that there are three options and you want to know what they want to do. Explain you are finding money a struggle and this will really help.

Sell the house with proceeds split 50/50

One of you buys out the other. You need a valuation for probate anyway so get an agent round.

If they want to remain in the property they need to pay you rent on your half share. Any essential maintenance though would also be on you both equally.

Technically you have two other options but they could seriously affect your relationship. One is you move in yourself and the other involves going to court to force an order for sale. That is expensive but as they have no children it is likely to be granted as they are not complying with the will.

I think only you know if this was their intent when they moved in to care for your mum. Where did they live before?