More of a WWYD re inherited house

[Pbbananabagel]

So my Sibling and I inherited a house from our parents which they have been living in for the last few years.
with the cost of living crisis obviously money is tight for both our families and I am now desperate to either sell to be honest as it would be a life changing amount of money at present.
my sibling obviously has no intention of leaving but says they cannot buy me out at present due to lack of finance herself but this is really impacting on my family of 4 whereas they only have themself and partner to think of as child is significantly older and at Uni now. They pay all bills and maintenance on the house and I’ve never wanted to demand anything more but I feel like I’m being taking my a mug now.

aibu to be really frustrated? I don’t want to piss them off as they’re the only family I have now but I really need to figure out how to move this issue forward.

Has the will gone through probate? The executor should not have allowed this to happen. You either agree to keep it as a joint asset, in which case if she continues to live in it she pays you a market rent (half the total rent) or it gets sold.

OP's mum had lung cancer. Care fees would not have been charged in her case, given that her needs were short term, medical and for end of life care.

@waterlego where did I say it's of relevance to the will? I simply said there was nuance to the situation.

Talk to your sister again - get her to imagine how she would if you said to her you wanted her to move out of the house you and she now both own, forcing her to rent on the open market while you live in the house rent free for 18 months. That would feel pretty unfair wouldn’t it?

Basically her living in it rent free has deprived you of income for about 18 months. But you don’t even want the income, you want the asset. 18 months has to be long enough to come to terms with the fact she cannot keep the house forever as she cannot afford it. But in this situation where she is obviously now in denial, I would say to her, you forgive the rent she hadn’t paid you so far which is a HUGE kindness, but the house has to be sold as you desperately need the money. The alternative is she now pays you 50% of market rent AND bears all the cost of maintenance from here on, because you are being deprived of the opportunity to sell the house and use the cash asset to make your own life better.

There's so much inaccurate and unhelpful information on this thread, please stop it. Saying that the op will have sale proceeds go into a trust or that the sister has a right to live there is utterly nonsensical, we don't even know which legal jurisdiction she's in (English Vs Welsh Vs Scottish estate) nor if the estate has probate granted, who the executors are.
The op needs to see a probate or property lawyer in an initial half hour consultation who can advise based on facts.

Op, your sister (unless there are lifetime permissions to stay there) can likely be forced out legally if she won't do the right thing morally.

Give her a chance first and explain you need the house sold. See what she says. If no movement, go to court to get it sold. You are entitled to that money. Your husband is right.

Surely the executor has a legal obligation to make sure each person gets their rightful share of the will. You are doing nothing wrong seeking your share even if you were a millionaire. Its not about whether you need the money or not. Your mom left you half her house so you need to have it..no apologies. See the solicitor who made the will originally and say where is my money?

If your sister falls out with you that's her issue. She is wrong withholding your money and you're not falling out with her. Stop pussy footing around her and move this on as it will only embed deeper the longer you leave it. Start moving it today by making a solicitors appointment. Don't apologise. She should apologise as she has your inheritance.

I wouldn't rent to them. It could put you in a difficult position if you later want to sell and you haven't followed all the rules about renting out a property. I would go and see a solicitor immediately and start the process for a forced sale.

I know you say you don't want to fall out with your sister but she's not caring very much about your situation, is she? She's had a very good deal for the last few years that has more than compensated her for looking after your mother. After all it was only a couple of months not decades.

You have to put yourself and your family first, not your sister and her family. Your mother left the house to you jointly and she wouldn't want to see you missing out on your inheritance.

Gosh, how difficult OP. I generally take the stance that if you have previously had a positive and meaningful relationship with family then tread carefully in order to maintain it. I would have a very frank fave to face conversation, whereby you explain that you need to start benefitting from the asset of which you own 50%. I wouldn’t go down the market rate route because I can see how if you have budgeted to be rent free for a number of years then a sudden £800~ pressure on your finances could be quite difficult. I would ask for a nominal amount, mainly to draw the line that rent should be paid, and agree a date to get it on the market. Then approach agents to come and value it immediately, telling them that date. Good luck to you!

Kindly meant but they are depending on your discomfort so this can carry on.

If they wish to fall out after living rent free for several years in a shared asset that is on THEM.

You have two choices.

Allow this to continue or say very firmly the house needs to be sold.

As it is, has it increased or depreciated over this time?

If it has depreciated that is very annoying.

If you fall out over this, then I think you will see your sibling more clearly.

What rent have they saved?

If the house had been rented out during this time, what extra income would you have helpfully received?

You are entitled to your inheritance in a timely manner, not years after at the whim of a sibling whom is making a huge saving by using it.

You need to put your big girl pance on.

Oh and your inheritance is none of your husbands business!

Pouring every bit of it into family life means its a marital asset.

If this is the only inheritance coming your way, you should absolutely retain some in an emergency account in YOUR name.

Will your husband ever have an inheritance coming his way?

If not, even more important that you hold some back.

Your sister sounds like several of my husbands relatives (his brother and his wife) They pretend to be nice and all about family but they will take and take and take and never do the right thing voluntarily.
Your sister know exactly what the situation is and is happy to rip you off.

You need to explicitly say that you need to sell the house. Make up a white lie if need be.

You will only fall out of your sister cannot be reasonable. She is counting on you being a doormat.

If she is ok with treating you like this then she is no loss to you.
Be brave ….

Your sister is being massively unreasonable and deep down she must know it. She’s relying on your good nature to not get tough with her and evert your rights, it’s a form of emotional blackmail. I wouldn’t mess around with getting her to pay rent, I’d want your 50% asap. Either she buys you out or she agrees to sell. Go and see a solicitor for some proper advice, not from self-styled experts on here!

Something similar is happening with DH, we don’t need the money fortunately. He is like you just a nice person. Maybe I’m not nice but a legal will should be executed as soon as possible. You have inherited half a house she needs to buy you out or it needs selling.

If you fall out over this it will say a lot more about her crap behaviour. Not rocking the boat and being a doormat means being liked but means being ripped off by your own sister.

Where did your sister live before she moved in with your mum? Did they rent or own their own home? If the latter, what has happened to that property?

Someone hit the nail on the head up thread. They are living rent free on a house they own 50% of. You are not mortgage free despite owning 50% of a house. The rent thing is complicated. Personally I would talk to her and say we need to put the house on the market by such and such date. It would be a fresh start and presumably you would both walk away with a hundred grand at the least. Surely they can buy something with that kind of deposit. It’s not fair on your family.

I agree with not renting - you have been very kind and tolerant and they have taken advantage of that. If you agree to rent you may never see your share of the house. Just say it has to be sold now in accordance with your parents wishes and she has 1st refusal if she wants to purchase your half. Otherwise you could be facing years of non payment of rent and it all gets very entrenched and difficult down the line esp (sorry) if your sister passes before her partner

YANBU to be frustrated about this now - they have been enjoying a free ride and your expense. There is no need at all for you to feel guilty - they should be worried about what they owe you in rent.

It is now a situation that you need to action. I think you just need to say that its time to discuss what is going on with the house and that you are keen to sell it. Do they want to buy you out? If not it needs to be sold -lets discuss getting it valued and on the market for this spring.

My DH was in a similar situation- house left to him and his sibling, agreed another relative could move in and would buy the house within the year, after paying rent. Relative lost work during the pandemic, then relationship breakdown meant he wasn't in a position to buy. It's taken until last year to sort and sell, and that was only because sibling decided they needed the money. DH had been considering consulting a solicitor to force a sale at that point.
You probably will need to force a sale. It sounds messy and stressful, but I do think your sister knew damn well what she was doing moving in when your parent was terminally ill. An extremely devious move.

But there wouldn't be any bills or maintenance costs at all if the house had been sold, as it should, would there?

And I'm guessing that if the house was empty (awaiting sale), rather than lived in by the sister and OH, those bills would be smaller anyway. Heating would only have to be kept at a safe minimum to avoid frozen pipes. Water usage would be close to zero, so presumably only the standing charges to pay on that. There would be less wear and tear overall, therefore less maintenance needed. There might even be less council tax to pay on it, though that one is less certain.

Yes, the OP would be paying half of the costs on a empty property until it was sold, but her share of that would be far cheaper than half of the costs while it is occupied by her sibling and OH. They are living rent-free in the property and preventing the OP from realising her share of her legal inheritance. That to me is certainly taking her for a mug!

The conversation with your sister is NOT 'how stretched we are'. It's a 'what are we doing about the house' conversation.
You or her being stretched has nothing to do with it so don't start there. No beating about the bush, call a family meeting and discuss it there. Their response will tell you whether you need a solicitor asap.

Something doesn't make sense here. Everyone has assumed there was a will but OP doesn't make it clear there was - she just says they inherited the house. What happened with probate and who were the executors? What about inheritance tax? I'm going through this at the moment and we are having to sell a property to settle the will and inheritance tax. We couldn't put the house on the market until the estate was valued and probate had been granted. I technically own a third of the house but I can't just move into it.

Whether or not you need the money is irrelevant, she owns half the asset and is acting as if she owns it outright.

You get half rental or you apply for an order of sale. She'd still get half the proceeds, it's not like you'd be ripping her off but there would be legal costs so better to sort it yourselves if possible.

Try not to let it become a big emotional argument about your mother and her care etc - it's a fact that you own half the house and are getting no benefit from that.

Something similar happened in my extended family. One sibling was still living in the home house when their mum died. That sibling felt hard done by that they had 'put in loads of money into the up keep of the house' 'paid the bills for their mum' only half truths, they had also paid no rent. Anyway it eventually had to be sold. It was awkward but that sibling now sees that was the only way and has managed.

Anyway I would not go getting solicitors involved yet. Just have a frank discussion with your sister and say you are contacting an estate agent to value the house and that you really need to get things rolling on selling the house. Thank contact an estate agent, cc her in all emails or send an email with a quick synopsis of all phone conversations. This will give you proof if she says you haven't been involving her.

Surely there will be enough for a very nice deposit on a house for both of you with the proceeds.

I also agree that it was highly likely this was a premeditated decision by your sister to move in.

She has gained spectacularly financially and her reluctance to leave is telling.

I try not to be bad minded but your sister sounds calculating and is depending on your being a doormat in this matter.

I would go back to the solicitor first to get legal advice.

Do not rent to her.
Find out the rent amout the house would have garnered and present that figure to her.

The house needs to be sold.