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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

More of a WWYD re inherited house

221 replies

Pbbananabagel · 12/03/2023 23:05

So my Sibling and I inherited a house from our parents which they have been living in for the last few years.
with the cost of living crisis obviously money is tight for both our families and I am now desperate to either sell to be honest as it would be a life changing amount of money at present.
my sibling obviously has no intention of leaving but says they cannot buy me out at present due to lack of finance herself but this is really impacting on my family of 4 whereas they only have themself and partner to think of as child is significantly older and at Uni now. They pay all bills and maintenance on the house and I’ve never wanted to demand anything more but I feel like I’m being taking my a mug now.

aibu to be really frustrated? I don’t want to piss them off as they’re the only family I have now but I really need to figure out how to move this issue forward.

OP posts:
Howabsolutelyfanfuckingtastic · 13/03/2023 07:48

purplevipersgrass · 13/03/2023 07:45

This is nonsense.

Show quote history

Yes, total nonsense. Ignore this op.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 13/03/2023 07:49

I think in your circumstances it would make more sense for your sibling to pay you rent rather than selling the house. Rent makes clear that the house belongs to you equally, and also does not erode the inheritance.

If the house were sold now, while your family business is struggling and your husband is working part time elsewhere but not enjoying it (from the sound of it), there is a danger the inheritance will just be eaten away in life expenses propping up a business that is not viable. I would rather use a rental income to top up what you are earning for now, but consider whether you and your husband would be better off getting regular jobs that fully pay your bills, and eventually using money from the sale of your parents house to fund something substantial like a move to a better house or investment for the future.

America12 · 13/03/2023 07:51

bibbybox · 12/03/2023 23:16

They pay all bills and maintenance on the house and I’ve never wanted to demand anything more but I feel like I’m being taking my a mug now.

i don't think you are being taking for a mug as they have been paying for the upkeep. why is your sister so reluctant to sell?

She's living in a house rent free.

CleaningOutMyCloset · 13/03/2023 07:51

Scottishskifun · 13/03/2023 00:45

So they either need to pay you rental income (50% of market rate) or it gets sold.

Would it be 50% of the rent, when they are getting the benefit of living in the house? I'd say the op should get at least 75% of the rental value as she's not getting any benefit. The op ds would have to pay bills etc in her own home anyway

Testina · 13/03/2023 07:52

ConkerBonkers · 13/03/2023 07:43

What will happen is that your half of the proceeds of the property will be kept in trust until such a point that the house is sold and the equity released. Which could possibly be decades.

@Missdotty why are you making shit up that you clearly don’t understand?
Never fails to surprise me just how confidently people do this 🙄

HiDeDi · 13/03/2023 07:52

I’d force the sale to be honest and the longer you leave it the harder it will get.

Calmdown14 · 13/03/2023 08:00

I'd tell her you will be moving in as you can't afford your place any more. That might help to highlight the unfairness of this situation.

Yes they probably saved some money for care but they've effectively had that back now.

They either need a plan to buy you out or it is sold.

You need to sit down with her and stress (exaggerate if need be) how dire your financial situation is and that if nothing changes you will have to move in as you technically own a house so won't be entitled to anything.

ConkerBonkers · 13/03/2023 08:00

@Testina I think you missed my previous post when I said op should get legal advice. Fwiw, I have a similar situation, and the "sister" in this situation gets to live in the house rent free till the house is sold, and that might take decades. So I do have some inkling. What personal experience do you have if this?

waterlego · 13/03/2023 08:01

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 13/03/2023 07:05

So they took care of your Mum while she was in the last stages of life (you didn't, but you could have helped), they have paid all bills and maintenance on the house since your Mum passed, but can't even have a conversation with them about putting it on the market and moving on?

They don't owe you any rent. You owe them nursing fees if anything.

Who actually owns the house? You need to tell them you want to sell and work out a way forwards.

OP didn’t help directly with care because she lives in a different area

The sister is paying for maintenance of the property she lives in; just as all homeowners have to do. If you would expect the OP to pay half the maintenance, despite not living there, then she would be a landlord and therefore entitled to receive rent.

As for who owns the house, the sisters jointly own it.

bibbybox · 13/03/2023 08:01

She's living in a house rent free.

I don't know what was agreed when the sister moved in to I assume care for the mother. Did she give up a job? was rent discussed? The OP is entitled to feel annoyed about the situation but it doesn't mean she's a mug. Perhaps the sister resents that she had to take the strain in the final months. It's one thing to agree but another to live it. I know it's MNs so the normal thing is 1 person is a CF & the other isn't but in real life these situations tend to have far more nuance.

bibbybox · 13/03/2023 08:02

OP didn’t help directly with care because she lives in a different area

I'm seeing this play out with family & one cousin lives far away so can't be there. The other cousins are still pissed & buckling under the strain.

ittakes2 · 13/03/2023 08:03

Another option is to work out a commercial rent price and ask her to pay half of that each month.

bibbybox · 13/03/2023 08:05

Yes they probably saved some money for care but they've effectively had that back now.

My aunt & uncle had self funded care at home. 40k plus in 6 months

BMW6 · 13/03/2023 08:05

Tell sibling you have decided to.move into the house as well - after all, you own half of it.

Your business is not fixed in one area, kids can change schools, and your finances are resolved at a stroke.

Blossomtoes · 13/03/2023 08:05

Trouble is if rent’s paid OP will be taxed on it.

LawksaMercyMissus · 13/03/2023 08:08

Blossomtoes · 13/03/2023 08:05

Trouble is if rent’s paid OP will be taxed on it.

The rent goes to the estate and is subject to inheritance tax

SeasonFinale · 13/03/2023 08:09

Who is the executor - speaker to them and ask what they are doing to progress the sale?

DuvetDownn · 13/03/2023 08:10

Half the rent could be about five hundred a month where as half a house is probably in the hundreds of thousands.
Has the sibling definitely explored all options for buying out the OP? Their half of the property would count as the deposit and even if the couple both earn minimum wage they’d be able to borrow a fair amount.

waterlego · 13/03/2023 08:11

bibbybox · 13/03/2023 08:02

OP didn’t help directly with care because she lives in a different area

I'm seeing this play out with family & one cousin lives far away so can't be there. The other cousins are still pissed & buckling under the strain.

Yes, it must be very difficult.

But it has no relevance on the way the estate is divided up, which must be done according to the will.

Soontobe60 · 13/03/2023 08:12

bibbybox · 12/03/2023 23:16

They pay all bills and maintenance on the house and I’ve never wanted to demand anything more but I feel like I’m being taking my a mug now.

i don't think you are being taking for a mug as they have been paying for the upkeep. why is your sister so reluctant to sell?

I’ve calculated that the “upkeep” on my mums empty house over the year since she died is about £1000. So just over £80 a month.

aSofaNearYou · 13/03/2023 08:13

Your sibling is massively taking the piss, they can't just ignore the fact that you own half of that house. They need to either pay you rent with an agreement to sell later, or sell now.

What they're doing is totally unreasonable.

bibbybox · 13/03/2023 08:15

@Soontobe60 £80 for bills & maintenance? that's very cheap! my mums CT is nearly £400!

Soontobe60 · 13/03/2023 08:15

OP, one thing you need to consider is that when the house sells you may have to pay CGT if it has increased in value since your DM died. So will your sister!

bibbybox · 13/03/2023 08:17

I never said the house shouldn't be sold or the sister shouldn't pay rent. I just said she's not necessarily taking the OP for a mug...

Soontobe60 · 13/03/2023 08:17

bibbybox · 13/03/2023 08:15

@Soontobe60 £80 for bills & maintenance? that's very cheap! my mums CT is nearly £400!

The only bills are insurance and the standing charges for utilities. I’m expecting a Council tax bill soon though, which will add another £100 a month. She paid her CT in full just before she died last year.

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