Searched throw Drs’s girlfriends pocket at found cannabis

[Notagoodtime]

Ds who has just turned 16 has a girlfriend. Don’t really approve as she doesn’t seem a very good influence. Tonight they went out for a walk and when they came back I could smell weed. I know I shouldn’t have but I searched her coat pocket that was hanging in our hall. I found a packet of mostly used weed. What the hell do I do now? I know I’m wrong for searching her pocket but I’m really worried about my son. I have left it on the floor to look like it fell out. AIBU?

Sorry about the typos should read ds girlfriend not drs! I’m stressed

Put it back where you found it and speak to your son like an adult 🙄
Do you seriously think he's not partaking himself???

What is "mostly used weed?" 🤔

Sorry I know he is probably used the weed too. I mean most of the weed was gone just a tiny bit left in the packet

Yes you were very much in the wrong for searching a 16 year old girls (who is not your dd) pocket.

put it straight back where you found it.

you can have a chat with your ds along the lines of I walked past your girl friends coat earlier and it smelt of weed. Have you been smoking it? But you were r EA Lou out of order to go through her pockets!!

Lots of teenagers smoke weed (not promoting it, just stating a fact). You need to have an adult conversation with him, and, presuming you have a healthy relationship (rifling through his GFs pockets indicate otherwise) explain why it worries you.

• really

That’s my question too

You need to talk to him about it and about the dangers (mental health wise) of smoking it.

Speak to them.

Say you knocked the coat on the floor and as you were picking it up this fell out.

If you could smell the weed you didn't need to search pockets, just have a grown up conversation with him.

But searching pockets was wrong and you are settling yourself up to fail if you think that's the example to set. He will battle against you if you don't treat him like and adult and that means giving respect and agreeing trust.

Don't scapegoat this girl and characterise it as "her" weed, and it's just "her" influence.

You have no way of knowing that at all.

For all you know it's the other way round.

If your son is smoking weed that's his choice, and you need to deal with that.

Of course, it absolutely must be her being the ‘bad influence’ on your darling boy.

I cannot believe you searched through her pockets. That is fairly mental behaviour.

No doubt she will be the poster whinging in 10 years time that her son and his partner don’t want to come over for Sunday lunch.

This. You crossed a serious line.

Searched throw Drs’s girlfriends pocket at found cannabis

Smoke some, it might help your cognitive function.

YABU for going through GFs pocket imho

Both of these.

I know I have been unreasonable but have any of you had this problem with your kids and drugs? I’m just so worried

Fine t be worried. Fine to have a conversation. Not fine to search the possessions of minors in your house. I don't think it's probably even legal.

Loads of teenagers smoke weed. Don't overreact - just talk to him.

Ok that is what I suppose I’m getting at. None of my friends kids smoke let alone smoke cannabis. I’ve never tried it and I’m shocked. Do all your kids do it?

Christ on a bike you've crossed the line. How do you know your darling boy didn't pressure the girl to keep the bit of weed in her pocket and not his own so Mummy didn't accuse him.

To be fair I'd be more concerned about alcohol.

YABVU to search the gfs clothes. YANBU to talk to your ds and say you can smell weed, not accept excuses and deal with the problem. How you deal with it depends on you and your ds. Mine knows I have zero tolerance for drugs and the conversation would reflect that.