To be fucked off about nursery fees

[Ladyrantalot]

So, here we are, DH and I slaving away full time, paying a grand a month for nursery until our ‘free’ hours kicked in after 2 years. Put off having DC2 because we didn’t have the money to have 2 in nursery at once.

By comparison, my sis who doesn’t work and hasn’t since she quit her job on her first maternity leave 4 years ago, also has 30 free hours despite the fact she’s at home, has no intention of working in the next few years and doesn’t need it 🤷🏼‍♀️

AIBU to find the way us full-time-but-just-over-the-threshold workers are treated fucking maddening? We’re mugs aren’t we? And other people have the nerve to tell us we’re ‘lucky to be working’, yeah right.

If you're not in Scotland then you only get 30 hours if you both work or if you're a single parent
You have to confirm eligibility every 3 months on the government gateway so if she isn't in Scotland then she will be confirming that they both earn a min amount to claim
If she's confirming this but not working then she is likely to be found out and will have to repay it
The rules in Scotland appear to be different but that's definitely the case for me living in England

In England, she won’t get 30 hours free if she’s not working and not claiming one of those benefits previous poster mentioned because you have to get an income equivalent to 16 hours a week working on minimum wage. my child qualifies for the 30 hours because we both work full time and every 3 months, you get an email asking you to reconfirm that both parents living together still earn the minimum.
So either you don’t live in England or you’re lying to cause a benefit bashing thread or they’re claiming it wrongly

Yes, that was the joke. Well done!

Do you state that you are English in every post?

This. It's for the child's benefit, not the child's. Plus she won't be entitled to UC forever and in the meantime she's reduced her earning potential and pension pot. She might be better off in the short term but not in the long run.

Ah, better tell yourself that next time you’re complaining about the super rich not paying enough.

Why do you hate your sister so much?

@redbigbananafeet because of poverty.. opportunities..development.

I agree with you OP.

You just need to comfort yourself with the fact your kids will have a better role model (and you’ll have a better pension!

The 15 hours at 3 is to make sure children who’ve never been to a formal setting where they’re exposed to educational activities are allowed to benefit. It’s preschool education. It’s got bog-all to do with your childcare struggle as a working parent vs a SAHP.

If you’re so jealous of your SIL then presumably you too can stay at home and claim universal credit.

@Ladyrantalot but this isn't about the super rich is it? If she's able to claim UC then they're on a fairly low income.

Absolutely our anger should be directed at the very wealthy hiding their money away, the government for their hateful policies and society in general for being so selfish and insular.

Maybe instead of bitching and whining about your own sister, you could get involved in some campaigning about the real issues here because it's not your sister getting some childcare.

berksandbeyond · Today 11:06
I agree with you OP.

You just need to comfort yourself with the fact your kids will have a better role model (and you’ll have a better pension“

So a SAHM can’t be a good role model?

Is she a lone parent op?

So her kid should be held back from all the good things that nursery brings, because you're jealous? Not the kids fault she doesn't work is it? Why don't you give up your job? Then you won't be so jealous. PS I've always worked and never had any help towards fees when mine were in nursery, but I was aware of the costs before I had kids and still chose to have them.....

Nobody who has a SAHM needs free nursery hours, that’s the long and short of it for me.

My son has serve additional needs and needs constant supervision which means I have to be a stay at home mum, it definitely wasn't by choice (I have two degrees so could work but obviously unable to due to my circumstances) but the free hours provide my daughter with education, friends and respite from her brother.

With every passing day I despair more and more of what we have become as a society. OP YABU.

Definitely, "the kid" - also known as your niece/nephew - should not be allowed the same opportunities as your children. 😖

Given how you refer to your sister and her family "the kid" / "the dad"), I assume you have other issues with them. Is it possible that these are clouding your view?

But they get that at 4/5 when they start school. We start school early compared to other countries. So it’s not like they’re not getting these opportunities early on is it?

That is not entirely true. Most European countries have preschool education from 2/3, some compulsory.

I'm with you on childcare costs it's ridiculous however that doesn't mean children of non working parents shouldn't get the benefit of nursery from 3 years old. You're directing your anger to the wrong place

Do you think only families where both parents work should have access to preschool?

Preschool benefits the kid regardless of if the parents work

Maybe the cost should be deducted from her UC?

confused, i have a 3 year old and 1 parent working... we dont get 30 hours free as both parents have to be working? i only get 15 hours free....

Running out of arguments fast aren’t you! Lol

I don't need to, I'm in the vast majority so it's expected. You're not, so if you want advice, and guidance is different in Scotland than England, then yes. Put it in your post.

Hence why so many people have told you she doesn't get 30 hours.

Well I'm a sthp. My children went to nursery and we got 15 (I think) free hours but both went for twenty hours. I don't see how it effects anyone else.

OP is in Scotland, she thinks we should all have assumed that 🤨

@EmmaDilemma5

Or maybe she just didn't realise the rules were different in England?

Did you know they were different in Scotland?