To be fucked off about nursery fees

[Ladyrantalot]

So, here we are, DH and I slaving away full time, paying a grand a month for nursery until our ‘free’ hours kicked in after 2 years. Put off having DC2 because we didn’t have the money to have 2 in nursery at once.

By comparison, my sis who doesn’t work and hasn’t since she quit her job on her first maternity leave 4 years ago, also has 30 free hours despite the fact she’s at home, has no intention of working in the next few years and doesn’t need it 🤷🏼‍♀️

AIBU to find the way us full-time-but-just-over-the-threshold workers are treated fucking maddening? We’re mugs aren’t we? And other people have the nerve to tell us we’re ‘lucky to be working’, yeah right.

Still don't get that?

Because a young child has their mum at home for when they come home from school or nursery you think that means the child itself is not going to work as an adult?

Honestly society has just gone crazy. That is one of the strangest things I have read. People really believe that sending a 4 year old to childcare all day every day so they can work will mean the child will be more inclined to get a job as an adult?

That is a very strange way to think

Also have you tried meditation OP? It's free and just 10 mins of it in the morning could really help you

Because it’s about children starting education not about money.

Your but Ernest’s is really ugly OP.

And she won’t be getting 30 free hours if she isn’t working. Her child will be getting 15. Fancy being jealous of a child being in nursery

*bitterness not but Ernest 🤪

Also OP my husband is in the highest tax bracket so pays a fortune in tax, so I don't see why our kids shouldn't be able to go to nursery like your child for free just because I am a SAHM. Surely we have paid enough tax between us? I don't understand your logic.

Sounds like you have issued that are nothing to do with your SIL.

What has the world come to when people hate mothers who choose not to work? Maybe they should thank SAHMs for freeing up the job market and committing their time to raising children in the best way possible (I say that as someone who has never been a SAHM)

I think OP needs more than meditation 🤣

Earn more then. Rather than going “it’s not fair if I can’t have nice things SHE can’t either”.

The sad thing is you’re probably raising a child to have the same miserable shitty attitude as you.

I don’t care that my taxes find those who don’t work.

Thing is OP - by having a child YOU are a leech on the taxpayer.

Why should childless people pay for your lifestyle choice? Maternity costs, giving birth, free dental care and prescriptions for your offspring for 18 years, insane amounts in free education. That costs a lot. Why the hell should other people pay it?

I guess you’ll be turning your free hours down then seeing as you presumably don’t fit into these categories?

Basically you want to world to work YOUR way? How utterly arrogant? What’s so special about you that you think the world should bend to whatever YOU want at any given moment? Have you the solution to world peace? Have you the cure to incurable diseases. You must be REALLY special to make these demands with a straight face

For how many kids 😳

Waste of life to be honest…

Ranting and moaning is wasting your life. Instead of moaning about what others have, try being more positive and thankful for what you do have. Life on benefits isn't easy and when you are lowly paid the cost of living crisis affects you hardest because you already have less you can cut back on.

I've been both, but my point is that being a sahm is the hardest job ever according to some but a sign of laziness to others.

our nursery fees were £1000 a month for one child, after the 30 free hours kicked in!

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl

Since when was being a sahm the best possible way to raise children?

So you’re not accepting the free hours that you are entitled to then? After all, you don’t want other working people paying for you.🙄

OP, your anger is misdirected. Every child has a right to free early years education. But the UK system is broken.
I come from a country where nurseries are free for everyone or heavily subsidised if private. Parents only pay for meals, nappies, wipes etc.
UK government doesn't seem to care about how parents are meant to afford everything between maternity/parental leave and school. Be angry at that, not at other parents.

I've been both, but my point is that being a sahm is the hardest job ever according to some but a sign of laziness to others.

This is a good point tbh.

The child is getting only 15 hours anyway, so the mum still is looking after her kid the rest of the time.

I know lots of families who used the 15 free hours for their 3 year olds, when one parent wasn't working. it's perfectly normal. One mum I know was pregnant at the time and it gave her a chance to rest. Other parents have used it the time to do volunteer work, look for jobs, help their elderly parents.

But apparently the DWP should be paying for a whole new department of staff to scrutinise every funded childcare application to ensure that the parents are "worthy". Because that's a better use of taxpayer money.

And I say this as a single parent who has always worked. My kids go to wraparound care at school now which is part of the preschool, I really couldn't care less that the money I pay for them is used towards care of toddlers.

OP, it’s going to blow your mind that some people have no kids, earn just too much for any support but not enough to really live, and still have to pay towards your kids having education and healthcare.

It’s called living in a society. My view is that there needs to be more done to make wages go further and to lower housing costs, which will benefit everyone but especially those working.

Sorry I'd like to use this opportunity to clear up some confusion between me and husband, does every child get 15 hours free childcare at 3 years old REGARDLESS of parental income? I.e. if one parent earns more than 100k?

Yes.

Yes because it's not childcare its early years education which the child is entitled to regardless of how much a parent earns

Yes

You wouldn't get 30 hours if you were both working and one of you earned over 100k.

So then children fall through the cracks. Not every child with lacklustre parents is under social services care - frankly social services would collapse if they were. And not every child with a disability will be diagnosed that young. Some things such as ASD and ADHD - which the child would greatly benefit from early years education - aren't diagnosed until age 5 or later. Every single child deserves early years education regardless of their parents income.

I hope loads of people off the back of this post realise that they can now get free childcare. It would send this cranky OP over the edge!!