To be fucked off about nursery fees

[Ladyrantalot]

So, here we are, DH and I slaving away full time, paying a grand a month for nursery until our ‘free’ hours kicked in after 2 years. Put off having DC2 because we didn’t have the money to have 2 in nursery at once.

By comparison, my sis who doesn’t work and hasn’t since she quit her job on her first maternity leave 4 years ago, also has 30 free hours despite the fact she’s at home, has no intention of working in the next few years and doesn’t need it 🤷🏼‍♀️

AIBU to find the way us full-time-but-just-over-the-threshold workers are treated fucking maddening? We’re mugs aren’t we? And other people have the nerve to tell us we’re ‘lucky to be working’, yeah right.

I always assume posters are in England unless they say otherwise, given how many fewer people live in Scotland compared.

What an ugly thread.

(Being Devil's advocate... not what I believe!)

How is she meant to find a job if she doesn't have childcare?

So… you’re raging jealous that your sister doesn’t have to work and you are ‘slaving away’.

Okay, that’s frustrating and I can understand you feeling hard done by, but your circumstances aren’t anything to do with your sister, nor are hers anything to do with you.

who are these people telling you you’re ‘lucky to be working’? Tell them to piss off.

I think you need to reframe this. The childcare isn’t for her benefit, it’s for the benefit of the child who might not otherwise have an opportunity to interact with other children in a learning environment prior to starting school. You surely don’t actually want your dniece or dnephew, an innocent child, to miss out because you disapprove of their parent?

Fight for everyone to have proper access to Early Years education! Every child would benefit from this. It needs to be funded properly, so no parent has to pay stupid amounts, and there needs to be a societal expectation and understanding that high quality EY education is really good for all kids. Fight to get more in, not to keep some out!

Hang on you get 15 hours free if you are not working, which I do agree with as it is not about giving the parents a break but about helping prepare dc for school.

If you are NOT working you can only get the 30 hours if you are disabled as far as I am aware.

From governments website.

'If you are not currently working
You may still be eligible if your partner is working, and you get Incapacity Benefit, Severe Disablement Allowance, Carer’s Allowance, Limited Capability for Work Benefit or contribution-based Employment and Support Allowance.'

Nursery benefits the child as well as the adult. It also frees non-working adults up to do other things, which can lead to jobs or opportunities.
so YABU. I mean, why should my taxes give YOU any free childcare, if you come to think of it? I didn’t get it when my kids were small?

I hope this isn't going to turn into another working mum versus SAHM thread. There's a couple of those running at the moment. Both equally depressing.

Oh I missed the Scotland bit.
My point about it benefiting the children still stands.

OP, comparison is the thief of joy.

Early years funding is about preschool educational opportunities for the child rather than childcare funding. Maybe she does not want her child to miss out ?

OP hasn't confirmed where they're from.

She won't get 30 hours free if she's not working. It will be 15

Maybe don’t do that then, given that there are dozens of people who are not, in fact, English.

In Scotland, you get 30 hours free childcare from age 2 if you don’t work; but you need to pay for it if you do. Some working parents are also eligible from age 2 so it’s not that clear cut.

YANBU OP and it's a pity the MN champagne socialists are out in force on this one today because if everyone pulled together to tell the government that working families NEED childcare for under 3's we might have stood a chance of actually getting it in the upcoming April budget -- as it was down as one of the possible things on the cards. But all I've seen this weekend is women tearing down other women for having a family and working and not being able to afford childcare so the debate is basically an own goal for working mothers.

I think you’re missing the point of free hours in nursery. It isn’t there to subsidise working or non working parents, it’s designed for the benefit of the child and EVERY child has the same entitlement to these opportunities. Would you really begrudge your nephew/niece the opportunity to socialise, learn, build confidence away from a parent and a range of other benefits just because you’re pissed off that you work and she doesn’t?

It's not child care... it's early years education.

oops I saw Scotland mentioned above somewhere and thought it was the OP

Agreed

So why are some children entitled to more free education that others?

I agree with you OP

Maybe put that in your OP then?

And a dozen means 12. There are of course, many more than a few dozen people in Scotland 😂

But they get that at 4/5 when they start school. We start school early compared to other countries. So it’s not like they’re not getting these opportunities early on is it?

I mean by your ‘begrudging’ logic, anyone should have anything they ask for ever, and anyone who objects is just ‘begrudging’ 🙄

Nobody who has a SAHM needs free nursery hours, that’s the long and short of it for me.