To be fucked off about nursery fees

[Ladyrantalot]

So, here we are, DH and I slaving away full time, paying a grand a month for nursery until our ‘free’ hours kicked in after 2 years. Put off having DC2 because we didn’t have the money to have 2 in nursery at once.

By comparison, my sis who doesn’t work and hasn’t since she quit her job on her first maternity leave 4 years ago, also has 30 free hours despite the fact she’s at home, has no intention of working in the next few years and doesn’t need it 🤷🏼‍♀️

AIBU to find the way us full-time-but-just-over-the-threshold workers are treated fucking maddening? We’re mugs aren’t we? And other people have the nerve to tell us we’re ‘lucky to be working’, yeah right.

This waste of life you talk about....if your sister worked would she be sending you some of that money to change your situation?

If you're so fucked off with it why did you have kids?

If we don't try and help children from underprivileged families succeed, then the chances are those children will also end up relying on benefits and will never break the cycle. Some people are quick enough to judge people on benefits but are appalled at the thought of their taxes going towards helping those same people to get off benefits.

But a family with only one person working might still pay more tax than a family with two people work.

So....you are working for no extra money after childcare....bitter as hell at your sister being a stay at home mum....but won't be a stay at home mum yourself because you are too 'proud'....so instead you are slagging your family off to strangers on the internet..... right....

Sucks to be you

Oh honey. You can call it “pride” all you want, but the fact of the matter is you chose to put yourself first and allow someone else to raise your kids for years on end.

They definitely do not.

Votes have just swung in my favour! Silent majority as usual.

Like she is now doing even though she doesn’t need to?

She’s lying on the claim or you are presuming incorrectly. You only get 30 free hours if both parents are working.

If you want to go down the road of only getting out of the system what you contribute, your life would likely look very different (healthcare, education, public services, state pension etc etc). If you're struggling to pay your nursery fees and mortgage, I'm guessing that you're not paying enough in tax to cover what you get out. Maybe get a better job?

I wasn’t talking about her. I was talking about you.

Bitterness and jealousy are not good traits to have.

Little things called ‘cost of living crisis’ meaning people who were doing okay are not not, have you heard of it?

Imagine living in N.Ire where there is no such thing as free hours at 2 years old for anyone at all! And only 15 hours at 3 years old and you also may not be able to avail of the 15 hours because lots of private full time daycare nurseries do not offer them at all!
You go to work and pay for your childcare! So if you are going down that route then i ask why should my taxes over here fund 30 free hours of childcare for you OP, whenever I get absolutely nothing for my own children??

Do you mean your sisters family or in general? Even with your sister, don’t forget that two people working both get the first 12.5k of salary free of income tax, whereas one person pays income tax on all their income above 12.5k.

Please give me your money. If not, I assume you are both bitter and jealous.

Although it’s more likely you’re just feeling a bit embarrassed as you’re doing the same thing and now trying the old character assassination lol.

So you were happy to pay the extortionate fees then? Because you work and you don't expect anything for free?

You just have a problem that your child doesn't have an advantage over your niece/nephew because clearly you're better than your sister due to you working? Got it

I don't think SAHP should get any free hours on the taxpayer dime.

And why others don't save before conception, as we would for any other large expense, is beyond me. We don't expect fellow citizens to pay for our cars, furniture and holidays. Why do we expect others to fork out for childcare instead of planning and saving ahead for it?

Yes

At the end of the day you need to do what works for your family. Most families with a stay at home parent make sacrifices as well. It's not all roses and sitting at home doing your nails. Let go of the bitterness and anger and try to enjoy your life and your child

Your powers of analytical thinking aren’t strong are they?

Whenever people start with ‘you are so angry/jealous/bitter’, you know you’ve hit a nerve… 😊

Once again for the hard of understanding:

Childcare for a SAHP is not free, but preschool education for the child is free.

What are you talking about?

Focus on your own family and your own shortcomings. If you’re unhappy, you can change your own life. You can’t do anything about anyone else’s.

But your BIL is working? I don't understand what your issue is.

They would get 15 free hours, not 30. If your sister is claiming otherwise she's incorrect and will get a bill soon!

Nah, I’ll have a rant if I want to, even if it makes some uncomfortable.

To be honest the 30 free hours at 3 are about the child and preparation for a school environment rather than childcare costs for the parents.

But I agree, childcare costs have been a big factor in how we spaced our children and had to be balanced against our age. It’s only that we had a reasonably affordable childminder (compared to nurseries) and could buy our car outright a year ago and not need a new one for a while that we had another child.

You have clearly never met or have had to educated a child who has not had these early childhood experiences. Children cannot learn without them. So by denying them to children of no working parents you are continuing the cycle of people that cannot or struggle in society and workplace.