To be fucked off about nursery fees

[Ladyrantalot]

So, here we are, DH and I slaving away full time, paying a grand a month for nursery until our ‘free’ hours kicked in after 2 years. Put off having DC2 because we didn’t have the money to have 2 in nursery at once.

By comparison, my sis who doesn’t work and hasn’t since she quit her job on her first maternity leave 4 years ago, also has 30 free hours despite the fact she’s at home, has no intention of working in the next few years and doesn’t need it 🤷🏼‍♀️

AIBU to find the way us full-time-but-just-over-the-threshold workers are treated fucking maddening? We’re mugs aren’t we? And other people have the nerve to tell us we’re ‘lucky to be working’, yeah right.

Schools have had nursery's offering 15 hours education since back in the 80s, actually I think they started it in the late 70s . By the late 90s most children went to nursery .

The government roll out 30 hours free for working parents and suddenly we have a load of entitled people who seem to begrudge the 15 hours of education all children have been entitled to for years

Have you always been this jealous of your sister OP? You sound very unhappy.

Kids get 15 hours free at age 3 because it is really important for their social skills and preparing them for school, yours get 30 hours because you work. It's not for mums to have self care time or whatever bizarre thing one poster suggested, it's what's best for the kids.

Instead of insisting your sister get a job why don't you insist your OH gets a better job so you can afford to stay home and revel in the 15 hours free child care you'd then get.

I'd advise against socialising or talking to any parents where neither works though because you wouldn't believe what they get for free.

Jealous! My bingo card is getting full

@Ladyrantalot why don’t you take personal responsibility for paying for care for your child, or looking after them yourself, and stop moaning that other people won’t pay for it for you?

There’s a kid who goes to my son’s nursery whose family are rolling in it - the mum doesn’t work, they live in a huge house near the nursery that can’t have cost less than £2m, they’ve got 3 XC90s parked out the front, I know they’ve got two older kids at private school.

I know the kid goes to nursery for 3 mornings a week from 3 years old on his 15 funded hours because the mum told me. When I see her dropping him off it just does feel unfair that someone who has that kind of money is getting free services provided by people who work for minimum wage (the nursery staff).

That said, I suppose you could say the same about any state-funded service - the NHS for example.

As I’ve said in a previous post I understand and agree with all the arguments in favour for universal 15 funded hours but I just think the way it’s funded at the moment is horribly unfair on working parents and nursery staff.

If she's got it so good why don't you give up work and do the same as her, OP?

If they are "rolling in it" then presumably the dad works and earns a high wage... therefore contributing a lot in tax!

It's not for the parents benefit. It's for the benefit of the children.
Should working parents have access to subsidised childcare? Maybe but that's a very different question.

I totally agree OP. Sorry you’re being given such a hard time on here.

Self-respect and work ethic?

But you'd have only paid £2.50, your DH would have paid the other £2.50. You'd get £1.50 back and so would your DH.

Her DH £2.50, her £0. Her DH £1.50 back, her 0 back.

You comparison was dog turd.

Get a grip. You're insanely jealous of your sister. Her DH works and has his child in childcare which he is entitled to do.

YANBU. And your post in part illustrates what is wrong with our society today.

If she has it better give up work yourself.

Gosh you're awfully bitter! And towards someone in your own family no less.

The free hours incidentally are for the benefit of all children to allow to even the playing field for those whose parents are on low incomes in terms of early years education.

And I work, beyond the free hours limit and planned my second with that in mind. I could have given up work and had my second sooner I suppose. Choice! That's the key! Don't like your choice make a different one but try to remove the choices of others

So bizarre,will you insist she should homeschool next year too? Because early years provision is part of education provision for children not childcare for parents. Does it help us working parent? Yes! But primarily it's to ensure children have access to the service.

@IAmTheWalrus85

Have you ever heard of progressive taxation? That family are already saving the holy taxpayer a fortune by not sending their older children to state schools as, weirdly enough, they are entitled to do.

The OP seems to believe that other people using the same service as she is using are directly depriving her of more hours of that service and she is more entitled because she pays more tax.

Does this only apply to schools, or should poor people and SAHMs walk in the mud because people like the OP and her husband, being such huge taxpayers, should be the only ones entitled to use the roads?

Sure. But whatever amount of tax he pays, it isn’t being used to fund the early years sector properly. The nursery provides those hours to his child at a loss. And they have to cover that loss by charging higher fees to working parents of under 3s and paying pitiful salaries to staff.

Whatever way I think about it I can’t see how that’s fair.

It might interest people here to know that here in Mexico, kinder is free from the age of 3 or earlier if the child turns three before the end of the year and is from 9 am until 2pm or 4pm, depending on the school one chooses.

The UK really is becoming a third-world country.

Yeah, all children being entitled to 15 hours term time early years education from 3 is definitely what is wrong with society today

Of course. But that’s not quite the point I’m making. My point isn’t about tax receipts, it’s about the way early years is funded, which I think is unfair on parents and staff. He could pay £5 billion a year in tax and I would still think early years funding is grossly unfair.

OP is, to a point, correct. Nurseries provide funded hours at a loss because the system is underfunded. They don’t receive enough in funding as it costs them to provide the service. They then have to recoup that loss by charging more to parents who AREN’T eligible for free hours. And also by paying their staff a piss dribble.

I don’t in principle begrudge the children of SAHPs some free early years care - at all. I do begrudge the fact it’s provided to the detriment of other parents and staff.

A very fair point. We’re fighting over scraps like pigeons outside a chippy.

I’m a disabled single parent. Because I don’t have a partner who works, my child is being punished because he’s not entitled to the 30 free hours. I’m disabled so cannot work at the moment, yet if I had a partner my child would automatically be eligible. Yet people who choose not to work by choice - but have a partner who works are automatically entitled to it. Make it make sense.

But you’re still happy that higher bracket tax payers help subsidise your children at nursery, your argument is futile

I hear you OP. I was reading the budget insights thinking wow we might actually be able to afford to have another. But nope, doesn't look like it'll be of any benefit to us. We're basically one and done because even though our son gets his 30 hours now so our childcare has gone down from £1,200 to £370 (we pay for breakfast and after school club now). Reality is we won't be able to afford £1,200+ AND £370 so still can't afford to have a second child. If I wasn't working I could have had 3 by now.

No they don't , they get 15 like you do throughout most of the country

It is depressing paying a large proportion of your monthly wage to nursery fees, ive been there , and it is hugely frustrating when you see other people not working, not paying nursery fees,seeming to have an easy life.
However the free hours childcare are for the child's benefit, not the parents, every single child deserves to have the same early years opportunities regardless of whether their parents work or not.
I'm in Scotland, and all children get a lot more hours than that, regardless of parents working or not, every child receives the same free hours.