To dread Mother’s Day as a single parent?

[Mumsday]

Name changed for this as other posts are outing.

I’m a single parent to 3 dc aged 10 to 16. I HATE Mother’s Day because I just want to be spoilt a bit for the day but it never happens. My eldest is ND and isn’t really capable of cooking a roast without a lot of supervision (which would defeat the purpose for me) and the others are a bit young so would also require supervision.

We don’t really have the funds to go out as where we live it would end up costing around £100 for the four of us.

Then there is my mum, who also would like to spend the day with us and obviously I’m not going to ask her to cook.

Most years I just end up cooking a roast for us all, which I could just suck up again but it makes me feel so sad that it’s just another day of endless housework.

None of my friends are single and they all get lunch cooked for them by their husbands!

My dc will bring me a card etc in the morning so they do spoil me a bit. It’s just the meals really.

Any ideas of what we could do to give me a day off?

I'd be more tempted to pre-make something the day before so you're not doing loads of cooking and cleaning up on the day. I'd suggest something like a lasagne that's always nicer the next day anyway, so mother's day lunch is just chucking it in the oven and getting a quick side like a bag of salad and garlic bread. No faff, still a nice family lunch.

I’m a single mum and never had expectations for Mothers Day. If I got a card and chocolates when they were younger that was nice (usually from stalls organised at their primary school ). I haven’t really been bothered about it since they were teens, I don’t even know what date it’s on.

I have 3 dc around your age too. The girls usually write me a sweet letter or card and that's all I need. ds usually does his best bless him.

Just get a good quality ready meal you can have with a salad and bread, and icecream for pudding. The lasange from Cook is really nice, or a Charlie Bingham pie and pre prepped veg. It doesnt have to be a big production to be nice.

I prefer a nice breakfast over a dinner as a treat, and its much easier for kids to warm up some croissants or scramble some eggs and make toast and coffee.

I dread it too and i have a partner and kids but i never get spoiled, plus my own mum is dead so i don’t even get to spoil her.

i just want it to be over. You’re not being unreasonable to hate the day but i dont think its to do with being single.

I can understand that MothersDay would unlined the fact thatvyour a single mum with no partner. I can see that might make you sad. What I don't get is the Sunday Roast bit. Yes plenty of families will be going out for lunch but many won't. They'll be getting (a rubbish) breakfast in bed. Some will get a card and a bunch of daffs others will get a more expensive gift and a posh lunch....just like Xmas.
As a child I bought/made a cardand s small gift. As an mum I got the same (not with dad). As an adult I'm visiting my now adult son. We're not booked in anywhere so will try Whetherspoons. If not we'll hit Aldi coz he's a single person with not much in.....so exactly same as any other time i visit. Either way I'll have time with my family. I won't see my adult daughter and her family. They'll be doing their own thing then calling in MIL then grans.
Don't do the roast if it's too much effort. Do a buffet style meal.
It's sad you're so bothered by it.

I’m a widow and i nipped this in the bud from the very first alone Mother’s Day. I didn’t want the kids feeling awkward because they couldn’t get me anything so I scrapped Mother’s Day and we have childrens day where I spoil the children.

Can you order in or collect a carvery take away if you do want a roast. I've just collected 2 huge carvery lunches for DH & I as we've had a busy weekend and I cba. They were £9 each and huge!

FWIW, My DC spend mothers day with their grandparents as it's a Sunday, and they always go there on a Sunday 🤷‍♀️. I'm not fussed on Mothers Day personally.

Can you get stuff from Cook or something like that, so you're just bunging a tray or 2 in the oven?
Dc here need help/supervision when cooking here, but actually it's a lovely way to spend time together as long as they're adequately prepared (ND) so I'd be quite happy to cook with them but appreciate that may be different for you.
I know you said you can't ask your own mum to cook for you, but what if instead of you and one of your dc cooking you and your mum made a meal together?

This is a great idea! Now have to see if they have availability…

Takeaway. Problem sorted

Would the children be able to do an afternoon tea type lunch. That's what I'm doing this year ❤️

I understand. I'm awake before my teens so I'm happy doing my own breakfast.
Toying with taking one to wagamamas for food so I don't have to cook much. But the youngest won't go out so I'll still have to cook for her.

You are making far too much out of what is basically a made up commercial card and gift day. I told my 40 year old DS years ago to not send anything or do anything for it. We speak almost daily on the phone or WhatsApp which is far more important to me.
I haven't spoken to my own mother or she to me for 4 years but my siblings inform me she is expecting flowers and a card from me. I've barely seen her since I was 16 and I'm in my 60s now. She is a stranger to me yet she expects a big show on mother's day.

It gets better as they get older and can spoil you their own way. We've never done meals etc but I've always had a card (home made when they were little) and flowers.

This year will be hard as lost my mum in Jan but have reassured my adult children they can still do whatever they like for me.

There will be places you can go for less than £100 for 4 people. Go out somewhere during the week. Its not all roses in a lot of marriages.

Single mum here too. I just have the one child.

I say embrace the opportunity to spoil yourself. Buy flowers and chocolates for you, because it is your day. Not necessarily expensive, daffodils and Lindor. Then if anyone else bothers too it’s a (probably unexpected) bonus.

We are going out for brunch because it’s massively cheaper than lunch or dinner. And I like brunch.

And I agree with others, get a meal set up that is no effort for you. M&S ready prepared something.

And then you can show off about how great your day was if you want to.

Can you get stuff from Cook or something like that, so you're just bunging a tray or 2 in the oven?

I second that. If you want something more than supermarket kits there are several services, like Dishpatch, that will deliver what are effectively restaurant meals to be reheated. These are unbelievably easy to cook/supervise. If you know someone who can give you a Friend Code then you will get £20 off, iirc. You might have to avoid the Mothers' Day menu collection and pick something off the usual ones.

dishpatch.co.uk/

My DH currently on holiday with mates, due back next week and I guarantee he will forget MD - he says every year that I am not his mother (fair point but he will also forget his own mum). So don't be sad OP plenty of mums will be in your boat and wishing they were having a treat. Afternoon tea or a ready meal sounds perfect - sometimes (most times) we've just got to do it ourselves. I've learned to get over myself on mothers day to be honest.

Forget Mother’s Day and have another spoil you day instead. I’ve found as a single mum and now a widow the more store I put in ‘ special’ days the more disappointing they are.
Choose a day when the kids are all in school, have your nails done, or your hair, treat yourself to something you want, have lunch out or an afternoon tea somewhere. Buy yourself some flowers, have any at a gallery, museum, the beach —- do what you want for you,

Our mother actually takes my sister or as she is a single mother. My sister tried to object but mother says all her babies are grown and sister is the one doing the hard work so it's justified.

I think it's sweet and she deserves it as all mothers deserve a little treat on this day. So if you don't have that kind of support I think I completely understand where you are coming from.

I do think you might need a paradigm shift in how you go about mothers day though. A roast seems a bit too ambitious. Why not take them to a cafe, picnic, make French toast, pancakes, or order something easy out?

I know it's not the pampering you hope for but sometimes it's good to reevaluate especially if a day that's supposed to be low stress is becoming stressful for you.

We only cook at roast at home about once a year besides Christmas, because it's such a faff. Surely your kids can manage an easier meal?

TBH even my two are grown-up DC would not cook roast dinner for me because they know they couldn't do it as well...not that I would mind. If they did cook, I would have to leave the house as I'm a control freak in the kitchen.

As other have mentioned, pop to Waitrose and buy it all ready prepped...all you need to do is warm it up. If you go with ready made gravy then a tip is to flavour it up a bit with wine and seasoning.
For breakfast, buy a couple bags of their frozen croissants and Danishes. They come out as good as the bakers.
Make the day as easy as possible for yourself x

I think I’m going to order a food platter from a cafe have pj and films with the kids because I want to be lazy. I had the opportunity to go to a gallery/museum and do afternoon tea with family but fancied doing our own thing. You could choose takeaway in a bag from a supermarket? If money is tight.

Is there a Toby's near you ?