To dread Mother’s Day as a single parent?

[Mumsday]

Name changed for this as other posts are outing.

I’m a single parent to 3 dc aged 10 to 16. I HATE Mother’s Day because I just want to be spoilt a bit for the day but it never happens. My eldest is ND and isn’t really capable of cooking a roast without a lot of supervision (which would defeat the purpose for me) and the others are a bit young so would also require supervision.

We don’t really have the funds to go out as where we live it would end up costing around £100 for the four of us.

Then there is my mum, who also would like to spend the day with us and obviously I’m not going to ask her to cook.

Most years I just end up cooking a roast for us all, which I could just suck up again but it makes me feel so sad that it’s just another day of endless housework.

None of my friends are single and they all get lunch cooked for them by their husbands!

My dc will bring me a card etc in the morning so they do spoil me a bit. It’s just the meals really.

Any ideas of what we could do to give me a day off?

You can get something from Cook, Waitrose, M & S, etc that’s prepped and higher quality. Then task your kids with putting them in the oven and timing it.

In the nicest possible way, I think you're imagining that all people in couples have a lovely Mother's Day. As ever, I'll be ferrying one of my sons to football, while my husband takes the other. I take my own mom out on the Saturday for lunch cos Sundays are so busy for us. I'll get a handmade card from my youngest and a bunch of daffodils. Some people make a big drama of it, but I kind of accept that as a mom of theee young sons, me and my husband are still going to be very much on duty! We'll probably get a takeaway for tea cos eating out for five is just so expensive.

Mother's day I'm going to aqua fit in the morning and we are actually going to our local pub for a roast this year, most years I end up cooking for my mum and DHs mum and both DFs and on one memorable occasion also DB SIL and 2 DNs! I made it clear last year I wouldn't be doing it again. DH did ask if I'd prefer a pub lunch or afternoon tea, and if the former if I was ok with our local (it's a lovely pub and their roasts are homemade and delicious) so not completely off his own back. I will probably get a card and maybe some flowers or something small from DS

So I think your image of what everyone else does is skewed. Get something to bung in the oven and put your feet up

Observing Mothers' Day is not compulsory; if you don't enjoy it, just ignore it.

This is a manufactured day for making money. For the insecure to plaster their manufactured event all over SM. IF you do want to treat mum, cook something different, or as others have said, let the kids help. Buy ready chopped veg. It’s cheaper than buying everything individually and no work. Buy ready cauli cheese/red cabbage/swede and carrot mash. Even the potatoes. M and S or Tesco (wouldn’t bother with Asda) or Sainsbury’s.

Believe me, those of us with husbands haven’t all had endless breakfasts in bed/dinner cooked/hundreds of flowers, SM and adverts aren’t real.

A roast is lovely but is a lot of prep

A dine in meal for 2 x 2 for about £40 would be good from m&s

Or a pub that does roasts takeaway

I used to take my friends little girl to a shop and she would buy something from her mums for md

Buy some party food, ask your mum to bring a couple of things. Have a tea party.

The modern incarnation may be commercialised, but Mothering Sunday has been a holy day for centuries (fourth Sunday of Lent), and before Christianity, there have been festivals celebrating mother Godesses for millennia.

Why the obsession with a roast?! I think it’s a bit much for young teenagers (and the eldest having SEN) to cook one, it can be a faff on, and there’s nothing worse than a mediocre one with shop bought puddings and roasties! Maybe lower your expectations, a nice breakfast in bed would be easier for them to do?

I think your Mother's Day needs to be less food based! Or different food. There are plenty of meals that children of that age could pull off. Or maybe sandwiches and cakes.

why does it have to be a roast? I'm sure there's something they can put together, or put in the oven - or have a family cooking session making something together (or a family cooking session for DM & children - not quite the same thing as inviting her over to prepare lunch)

I never wanted a present or to go out. I just asked the kids to stop arguing for the day and TBH they tried.

If you don't want to cook, and if you can afford it, get a takeaway or find something easier to cook than a roast. I did a dead easy chicken casserole on Friday and it's really easy.

I don’t see Mother’s Day as commercially created. It’s a very old tradition, and I work incredibly hard every day. I’d just like a day off in suppose!

But I agree that it doesn’t have to be a roast. My mum would like one and so would I, but I guess I have to be realistic!

I have thought about this, but my own mum expects to celebrate it so I can’t ignore it.

Get them to bring you a cup of tea in bed. That feels like a treat to me.

What about afternoon tea?

Everything can be bought ahead of time, and on the day, all you'll need to do is plate it up and warm a few things through in the oven. Get a nice cake for afterwards and some wine for you/mum and you could make coke floats or something for the DC.

And don't compare yourself to other people. It will only make you miserable

I’ve really loved Mother’s Day as a single mum but voted YANBU as your feelings are obviously valid.

Things I’ve done-
Stayed with relatives and just enjoyed a nice visit rather than a Mother’s Day thing (hadn’t realise when we arranged)
Met up with friends and their kids
Gone out to eat at an inexpensive place - with our without my parents
One year I didn’t have my kids with me and had friends over for lunch who have both lost their own mums

Things that might work-
As others say, the kids making something easier than a roast
A takeaway
Ready meal type stuff

I always tell my kids I prefer stuff they’ve made than bought which is pretty much true
My teen has apparently bought me something this year
The other thing I tend to ask for is tea in bed (after 9!) which isn’t too big an ask but is a treat

Buy yourself some nice daffs as these aren’t expensive (my favourite flower as it happens)

Thanks, I do get it.

I am surrounded by very nuclear families, so I do feel like a misfit sometimes.

Why does your mum have to have her expectations met but you don’t though?

Kids that age could easily make and serve you breakfast in bed.

That's the traditional MD effort by children in 2-parent families.

furryfrontbottom that is a great username 🤣

That’s a whole other thread!

Take away. Easily sorted.