Guests who never like to join in party games

[SebHH]

We often gather in the same group for family birthdays/occasions- my husband and me, our 3 fairly grown up children, my mother, my MIL and my SIL. I grew up in a game playing family and always enjoy a game on these occasions; my husband didn’t and probably wouldn’t choose to play a game/certainly wouldn’t initiate one but will join in (maybe with an eye roll) if I suggest one. The difficulty is that my MIL and SIL always opt out- it feels more than their not enjoying these things, I think they worry about looking silly etc…They’ll sit and watch and are generally good humoured but it changes the vibe/makes me feel uncomfortable. It almost makes my feel a bit mean suggesting a game now.
My dilemma is… should I not suggest games on these occasions? Or should I go ahead if most of us have fun. A couple of things to add… these occasions are, for the most part, hosted by us- I wouldn’t suggest a game/steer the evening if I were a guest/someone else were hosting. Also the games maybe take half an hour in the course of a whole evening, so for the most part we’re eating/chatting etc
Any views welcome!

Agree with @Wait2see2. Save the games for your family time only.
We used to do this but at Christmas time only. Pictionary was the best - everyone (including several people rounded up who didn't have family nearby to celebrate with) got into it and loads of laughter.

Ask your dh, as he knows them better. He can maybe find out whether they are happy to watch or really hate them?

Well, it feels like they don't have the option to gracefully bow out with no ill feeling if they wish because you prefer them to play. Why are your feelings about this right and theirs wrong?

Organised forced fun is awful! Cannot imagine trying to force people into this.
And do admit thought this would be about pass the parcel or something at an under 5s party! 😁
Imagining something v v Amanda from Motherland insisting on playing games she's great at and always 'graciously' winning!

Sounds like you're the only one of the group that actually wants to play these games. I'd probably decline too.

Charades or Trivial Pursuit? It makes a big difference.

Thanks all for your thoughts, really helpful!
I guess it’s 2 out of 8 of us that don’t enjoy
The sorts of games might be “just a minute” or “one truth two lies” or “who am I?”
My problem today is that it’s my sons b’day (16)- he had a friends party yesterday and we’re having a family dinner tonight; he’s asked for us to play a game… should I privilege him or them?

Just play your games and if they want to be miserable fucks let them 🤷‍♀️

The difficulty is that my MIL and SIL always opt out- it feels more than their not enjoying these things, I think they worry about looking silly etc…They’ll sit and watch and are generally good humoured

So they're doing nothing wrong. They prefer not to play, but are happy to watch and are good humoured about it.

What exactly is your complaint? That their somehow ruining your game by not playing it? You're being ridiculous.

What are the “games” a game of cards/scrabble/dobble is one thing but silly dancing games, anything that involves someone being blindfolded etc are awful and I’d sit out.
I’m with your DH family

Why has he asked to play a game - doesn't it just happen spontaneously? It all sounds very forced.

We have a games night once a month with another family and we love it. We play things like Rhino Hero, sushi go, Jenga, Gyrating Hamsters, Uno and guessing games. We love it. Each to their own I guess 🤷‍♀️

You don’t “privilege” anyone.

It’s your house and your sons birthday. He wants to play a game. So you play as many games as he wants

I think you need to tell us more about what these games are. I mean, I’d be horrified about a surprise round of musical chairs, but a game of cribbage or scrabble after dinner can be fun. But it’s ok if others don’t join in,

But if it’s Cards Against Humanity that’s a whole nuther thing altogether. Not sure I’d play that with my own family, let alone my partner’s.

Basically need more info

This organised ‘fun’ sounds like some sort of ghastly work ‘team building’ BS. I certainly wouldn’t join in to make the organiser feel better about themselves for attempting to inflict it on me.

To be slightly more rude than pp, you have no idea of things that might be making them feel vulnerable or sad atm. They have already put their glad rags on, chatted, laughed at jokes and now you want them to play bloody party games? I dread going out this would be the last straw; they are your guests let them enjoy the evening in their way.

Exactly this.

As long as it's optional, it's fine.

If most of you enjoy them, the the two who don't could at least make an effort to be polite, it wouldn't kill them. I don't see why they should ruin it for all

It's your sons birthday so play the game with those who wish to join in as that's what he wants?! It's fine if some don't wish to play

They're not sitting there with a face on. They are just opting out. Carry on.

Oh. Cross posted with your answer.

Fair enough if they don’t join in, I can get why everyone might not feel comfortable with those kind of ‘in the spotlight’ kinda games. It’s some peoples idea of hell so trying to force them into it is mean. Just let those who want to play join in and let the others watch from the sidelines

Two truths and a lie 😨I'm getting trauma flashbacks to ice breaker games at a terrible company I worked for once.
For many of us, party games are hell on earth. Let them opt out and leave them alone. Sounds like they are reasonable about it.

How are they ruining a game that they're happily watching and being good humped about?

Cards Against Humanity is awesome. However, I get the thing about playing with the right people. There’s two couples we know that we love playing it with as we all get hammered plus we’re all filth bags really. However, we had one really cringey game with another couple that ended very fast and I wanted to scratch my eyes out. I think we moved onto just chatting afterwards 😆

You dread going out because you might have to sit at the side while others have fun?

You don’t have to play, you know.