Guests who never like to join in party games

[SebHH]

We often gather in the same group for family birthdays/occasions- my husband and me, our 3 fairly grown up children, my mother, my MIL and my SIL. I grew up in a game playing family and always enjoy a game on these occasions; my husband didn’t and probably wouldn’t choose to play a game/certainly wouldn’t initiate one but will join in (maybe with an eye roll) if I suggest one. The difficulty is that my MIL and SIL always opt out- it feels more than their not enjoying these things, I think they worry about looking silly etc…They’ll sit and watch and are generally good humoured but it changes the vibe/makes me feel uncomfortable. It almost makes my feel a bit mean suggesting a game now.
My dilemma is… should I not suggest games on these occasions? Or should I go ahead if most of us have fun. A couple of things to add… these occasions are, for the most part, hosted by us- I wouldn’t suggest a game/steer the evening if I were a guest/someone else were hosting. Also the games maybe take half an hour in the course of a whole evening, so for the most part we’re eating/chatting etc
Any views welcome!

I was not brought up playing games as a family but my husbands family are and I have to say, I dread it. I find it boring, the kids end up arguing over the scores and I feel on edge until it’s over. I play because I feel I have no choice but I hate every minute of it. Forced fun is awful! I wish I had the guts to opt out!

They might have social anxiety. Drinking light hearted quiz games or the room should be big enough with enough chattering that you don’t even notice who’s not playing!

Party games.....dear god almighty 🙄 The only family I ever knew who played games invariably fell out over it.

@SebHH have you ever paid herd mentality? Even my game hater dm happily plays this game. It's fab, simple and not mind taxing.

Personally I couldn't think of anything worse!!!

I am very self conscious and shy, so I would opt out every time. It doesn’t mean I am
not enjoying my.

I Hate games. Do not make guests join in . Of force them to. Or expect them to. If it's your thing, fine. Live and let be. Nothing fills me with more dread than party games and fancy dress parties.

When our family got together we loved to play word games. My daughter in law is dyslexic and requested via my son that we don’t play them. So we don’t.
I wouldn’t upset her for the world ,although we do miss them.

I totally agree, especially work organizational day where you get together away from work with coworkers. Hate those. Hate party games anyway.

I don't understand why them opting out makes you feel awkward? Jus because they opt out doesnt mean they don't enjoy watching. Some people just aren't comfortable doing these things and I think it's unfair to pressure someone too. It's your house and your choice to do it so carry on as you are if most guests enjoy it.
Maybe ask your guests to vote on if there should be games to see what response you get

It's his night if she's asked for games let him have some. Just don't pressure people to join in

Pet hate is ice breakers. Don't know anyone who enjoys them!

Continue as you are. It’s not like
you're forcing them to join in.
but it also depends on the game….. cards fine…. Ink, connect four etc fine.
twister, count me out

I would hate to do party games of any sort. Just because you like doing them doesn’t mean others can’t choose not to do it. Keep the party games to your side of the family and respect people who choose not to do them.

I like games but wouldn’t do them if I knew some of my guests didn’t like them. You could always host a dedicated games night and either not invite them or give them a token invite acknowledging it’s not really their thing.

Not everyone likes games and I think it's odd to insist when your in laws are not interested.

I think you have to prioritise your guests feeling comfortable. If they're happy to opt out, you need to accept that and be happy with it too.

Personally I'd hate it but would be happy to do something else while it was going on.

I have no issue with these games. I figure everyone looks stupid doing it and honestly it brings more attention to sit out. I’d much rather look stupid than look like the kind of person who can’t handle looking stupid! That said, I think YABU because it’s completely up to the people who don’t want to do it to opt out. I can’t imagine many people enjoy it and judging by this thread I’m right!

Other than quizzes I hate party games. I do feel silly. Why can’t you make a joke about it and ask MIL and SIL to be ‘wine waiters’ or ‘servers’ or ‘ ‘nibbles see ers’ while the games are going on? They can call ‘Order!’ Or pretend to be keeping watch over cheaters or something? All in fun of course.

Party games are fun and I wish they were as common as they used to be. Please don’t stop suggesting them! It’s a shame they won’t join in but don’t ruin your own fun/the fun of those people who enjoy the party games.

I am failing to see the problem with them just watching the game if they are also still interacting with the group. Like, I really don't see the problem. It really sounds like you are just making yourself uncomfortable for no reason. Plan your party games, let the participants participate and let the audience be the audience.

I’d love it! Ditch the inlaws, pick me!

I find it hard to believe the game takes half an hour to be honest by the time you explain rules, choose teams, etc. If it does only take half an hour why not drop it as it's such a small part of the evening?

There are lots of reasons people don't like playing games. From poor general knowledge to embarrassment at not being able to follow the rules, especially if they've had a drink. Some people also know that they can be bad losers and don't want to let others see that side of them. There are lots of "triggers" in a family setting.

This. 👍

I have tried to make my family play games but if you hate games you hate games. I try to empathise with them by imagining someone forcing me to BOWL, ugh.

You have to find other people to play games with. Or be like me and never find anyone and feel bitter about this for the rest of your life.