Guests who never like to join in party games

[SebHH]

We often gather in the same group for family birthdays/occasions- my husband and me, our 3 fairly grown up children, my mother, my MIL and my SIL. I grew up in a game playing family and always enjoy a game on these occasions; my husband didn’t and probably wouldn’t choose to play a game/certainly wouldn’t initiate one but will join in (maybe with an eye roll) if I suggest one. The difficulty is that my MIL and SIL always opt out- it feels more than their not enjoying these things, I think they worry about looking silly etc…They’ll sit and watch and are generally good humoured but it changes the vibe/makes me feel uncomfortable. It almost makes my feel a bit mean suggesting a game now.
My dilemma is… should I not suggest games on these occasions? Or should I go ahead if most of us have fun. A couple of things to add… these occasions are, for the most part, hosted by us- I wouldn’t suggest a game/steer the evening if I were a guest/someone else were hosting. Also the games maybe take half an hour in the course of a whole evening, so for the most part we’re eating/chatting etc
Any views welcome!

But OP you're the only one with a problem here tbh

I think you're inventing problems where there aren't any. I'm presuming you don't play party games for the whole of the day/evening. I don't play cards so will opt out. I don't wanna watch the Queens speech, or sing Hi Ho Silver Lining/Birdie Song...so I don't. It sounds like you've got the balance right. As long as there's no pressure to join in and its not for hours seems OK to me.

I suppose it's good ammunition to have in the bank. If ever forced jollity is attempted again, I can remind her of Human Gymkhana and tell her I'm done with this schizzle. 😂

Christ op sorry you sound very hard work. Why should everyone enjoy things the way you do?? I wouldn't join in as hate bossy organisers. Chill

If your son has asked for a game, play a game, BUT explain it’s birthday boy’s request, and anyone can opt out. You, on other occasions, have been less than understanding about guests’ feelings and it would be passive aggressive if you try to cajole them into joining.

I've played all those games OP mentions but they're not exactly party games are they? They scream tedious team building day to me. There's always one person who gets over excited whilst the majority of the room roll their eyes

Go ahead and enjoy your games OP, those who don’t want to join in can sit it out, I’m sure they can chat for half an hour.
All this passive aggressive nonsense, it’s just a short game for goodness sake, why does everything have to be so complicated.
I hope your son gets his game and has a brilliant birthday.

I like party games - playing and watching. I’m not good at making chit chat so games take the pressure off, even if I’m just watching which I enjoy doing as much as playing. Maybe they are ok to watch, it’s like live entertainment.

I saw something like this on a show called "Real Sex" on HBO. The riders were dominatrixes (dominatrices?), and the horses were men who liked to visit dominatrixes. I wonder if that's where your in-laws got the idea?

I've no idea why so many people are answering op as if her post was asking if she should force the mil and sil to play the games and if not refuse them entry to her house,and being so rude to her as if she is some overbearing cow who cant accept other people dont enjoy the same things as her.... when what she actually asked if she should not play the games despite the majority of her family enjoying them, even when she's hosting them at her house, and even when the person who the celebration is in aid of wants to play!

You can't get more accommodating or considerate than that but people are still jumping onto the pile on!

Ooooooh I cannot stand being immersed in someone else’s family when the games come out. I used to be too polite. Now I just say ‘count me out’, I’ll go over there and have a cup of tea, thanks.

I agree with this.

For me, it's my idea of hell and would opt out, but equally wouldn't want others not to play if it's their thing.

I think you need to ask yourself why it's important to you that they play, even though you know they won't enjoy it.

You say they are good humoured about and just watch. That sounds fine. It's not all play or no one plays. It's ok for others to sit if out.

Oh dear Lord, I truly, truly hope not! 🤢

I love games but would hate those you've listed OP, sorry! Very boring i think! What about left right center? All you need are dice and 3 dollars a piece to play. It's really fast paced and fun, especially if drinking.

Sounds like hell to me. I wouldn't join in, and would probably stop going to yours if you churn out a game every visit.

Suggest games half the time - don’t be out off.
Equally…half the time don’t suggest it

No really. I had no idea either. Not making a point or being disingenuous. I don't know anyone else who does either. It's a whole different world out there.

I’d play to go along with everyone and not ruin their fun but I’d hate every minute of it. I draw the line at cards, just no

What is it with having to be entertained these days. I saw a post on Facebook that reminded me of this thread - someone wanting recommendations of restaurants in London "with entertainment" (I have to admit I had no idea they were a thing, although I know there used to be (and maybe still are) cafe theatres in France).

Why do people need entertaining? Can't adults just eat and chat to each other?

At home, if some want to play cards or a board game, then they can, and others can continue to chat. Or have a kip!

Your son, without a doubt! Xx

This, 100%.

I hate party games and would definitely opt out.
I would not do them if you have guests who don't want to play

Even though I hate party games I’d join in for your son’s sake.

Can't think of anything worse than party games.

Boardgames yes but quizes and charades etc no thanks.