To be raging that DH puked on the carpet

[Willyswaggingfinger]

He's not drunk.
He's had a bad stomach all day, lots of loud burping and moaning that he feels ill. Although he felt well enough to eat a nandos at 2pm.
At around midnight he goes to the bathroom and I hear him retching. He comes back to bed and carries on with the loud burping.
At half past midnight he vomits twice on the bedroom carpet on the way to the bathroom.
Im raging because my argument is that if you feel sick you keep a bowl next to you. I've known a grown adult vomit on the carpet.
He says I'm disrespectful and unkind to have a go at him because he's ill.

Has no one understood? She doesn't love him. She doesn't even like him. She's been wanting him to leave for a while. At least it explains why she's so unpleasant.

The issue here though is that he knew he felt unwell all day, still had a Nando's, went to bed. Puked / retched in the loo and then 30 mins later was sick again.

Surely whilst you're in the shower after puking you think oh I should get a bucket in case I don't get much warning next time. Or if you feel so weak and dizzy can you not ask your oh to do it?

Not sure much can be said for @PyongyangKipperbang as I remember her comments on a thread like this and she just shat and vomited on all the towels in her house as her husband changed them in the bed as she couldn't / wouldn't move so not sure that's a realistic way to judge a situation. He at least tried to get there

If he was very ill maybe he couldn't help it and I'd cut him some slack. But on the other hand if he was burping and feeling manky all day he should have had the foresight to keep a bucket by his bed. Maybe this should have occurred to him when he was munching on his Nando's.

Sounds like there are bigger issues going on in your relationship though, OP.

We use a small trash can with a liner in it and change out the liner each time.

When I was a kid my parents used to use a cake mixing bowl and then when it was all done they would wash and bleach it and yes then they would cook with it later. As a kid I thought nothing of it. As an adult the very thought of cooking with something that was vomited in disgusts me!

Initially I thought you were being harsh but I think I'd be pissed off too

We use a small trash can with a liner in it and change out the liner each time.

Off-topic but I love how exotically hygienic that sounds, compared to 'we put a plastic bag in the bin'.

I got that vibe too. If my husband vomited on the floor I would simply be worried about him, I'd ask if he's okay, I would even clean up after him. I would definitely not be barking orders at him while he cleans it up and make him feel worse than he already does. He cleaned up after my vomit for the entire nine months of my pregnancy changed my IVs and gave me my medicine and made me home made meals even when he knew it wouldn't stay down.

When you're in love you take care of each other when you're sick. At least that's how it should be.

Although I can't be too hard on OP as I don't know the nature of her marriage. Maybe her husband has never done anything nice for her that would make her feel that way. Maybe that's why she is so hard on him.

the OP may have good reason not to like or love him. the fact she's been wanting him to leave might perhaps indicate (to anyone with a brain that is, Marsha) that there's something else going on. Be it PND or behaviour on his part that makes her less inclined to feel sympathetic.

the thread is a snapshot.

Do you get that?

@Willyswaggingfinger yabvu. He’s sick - he obviously didn’t vomit on the carpet on purpose. If I was sick, and sick on the actual carpet I’d feel awful. The only possible thing that could make me feel worse would be DH being angry at me and making me feel like shit because I had the nerve to be so unwell I couldn’t make it to the toilet in time. Have a bloody heart! I hope next time you’re sick he’s nicer to you than you have been to him.

She might or might not have good reason. Neither you nor I would know. But she's very clear in her post that as far as she's concerned, the relationship is over and she wants him gone.
But even after her writing that, posters are still saying, you're supposed to love him and you're not being nice. I was clarifying she doesn't love or even like which is why she's being unpleasant.

You, on the other hand, are just being unpleasant because that's who you are.

I know he is a man and that means they only ever do something in life deliberately annoy women with some big control agenda thing

But as amazing as it sounds me being a mere female has done wacky crazy things like this unintentionally

Annoying but it happens

I think your name says it all.

She is being unpleasant to him. And she's been asking him to leave. Even when we have depression, we know when we aren't behaving right. We just don't care that much.

I probably shouldn't have said that you were being unpleasant because that's who you are. It was unkind and I apologise. But I did not understand why you just came for me so nastily. I hit back and I shouldn't have.

I have reflected on my words. I stand by everything I said to the op. But I should have let your insult pass over my head.

Quite harsh on your husband, understand the frustration but when you've not been well all day you don't always have the energy to get the bowl or don't have had the headspace to think i better get a bowl. He clearly didn't do it on purpose. The second puke might have been unexpected as he'd puked up before that and he just couldn't make it in time to the bathroom on the second occasion. Future learning would mean u can help him by putting a bowl there and asking him if he'd want some water atleast? Isnt that how you'd want to b treated if you were sick?

Yes

when DH and I are that sick, we take care of one another.

why would a loving partner watch their spouse drag themselves across the house to get a vomit bowl instead of just providing one along with a fresh glass of water and maybe some soda crackers.

Shaving foam is brilliant for puking smells or biological washing powder, clear the worst with kitchen toll then either spray shaving foam or sprinkle washing powder over, then scrub, once it's all cleared up use bicarb, sprinkle, leave to dry & hoover off in the morning.

bizzywiththe fizzy the bathroom bin at my house, that's why it always has a carrier bag liner that can be whipped out in an emergency.

Times have changed here in MumsNet land..

One of my first posts was a light hearted 'whats your response if someone indicates they need a sick bucket', as my DP has a rather relaxed 'in a minute, I'll just finish what I am doing' approach where as I grew up in a household where the non-sick person would fetch it FAST, and the same applied at friends houses too.

I was apparently, an awful, vile, idle and dreadful person for expecting this of him, despite the fact I am disabled and often cannot move and he is not disabled, here all the time as my carer and can...

Ho hum - I think in this context, he knew he wasn't well, had plenty of warning, chose to eat something unwise in his condition and then failed to take any precautions such as fetching his own sick bucket before going to bed... this one is on him.

Another context... another time, might be different.

He’s an asshole, OP. He could have got himself a bowl or asked you to get him one and I would be raging too, though personally, as a cured emetophobe, I’d have brought him one whether he asked for it or not and then would have been double raging if he failed to use it.

If he won’t leave, is it worth moving out, or are there financial reasons stopping you?

This! I actually love my DH and would help him if he was sick, likewise him for me 🤔

I think he should have sorted himself out. He had been feeling sick for 10 hours, still had a Nandos, had kept you all up by belching loudly in bed, been up retching in the bathroom. He had ample opportunity to prepare for the night. You should not feel like this one was on you to sort. You had presumably been looking after your baby all day and were focused on trying to prevent her from waking up.

He’s not an asshole at all. He’s sick. How absurd.