To be raging that DH puked on the carpet

[Willyswaggingfinger]

He's not drunk.
He's had a bad stomach all day, lots of loud burping and moaning that he feels ill. Although he felt well enough to eat a nandos at 2pm.
At around midnight he goes to the bathroom and I hear him retching. He comes back to bed and carries on with the loud burping.
At half past midnight he vomits twice on the bedroom carpet on the way to the bathroom.
Im raging because my argument is that if you feel sick you keep a bowl next to you. I've known a grown adult vomit on the carpet.
He says I'm disrespectful and unkind to have a go at him because he's ill.

I think you should honestly get help OP, I haven't had PND but I have experienced depression and it's hard to have full insight when you are in it.
As for the situation, you definitely could have been a lot kinder. I think most of us have been in situations when we've suddenly felt sick and not managed to totally make it to the bathroom, even as adults...
My mother used to go nuts at me for being sick as a child so I've always vowed to never be the same way in situations like this. I honestly feel for your OH in this case. Chances are he was feeling awful and mortified. I'd never accept being treated this way over something I had no control of.

I can't believe he's left without cleaning it up!

Same.
I despair at some of these replies. It was obvious there was something going in in the background. As it turns out it's yet another useless man and a woman who has reached the end of her tether.

It was cleaned up last night - what do you mean?

I agree, that is disgusting and totally unfair on the OP.

Yup. And even after the update that he's recovered from complete incapacity to going to the football (leaving a still soiled carpet to be dealt with) in a matter of hours, it's still OP who's at fault for being unkind and difficult to live with.

It was cleaned last night - Op has been given further suggestions on here to deal with any lingering smell. Presumably if she'd passed these on her dh could have applied some bicarb or whatever before he went. Not really necessary to stay in for the day to deal with though and without the suggestion he likely would have thought of it

What's your objection to people writing in their natural accents? It's difficult to imagine a place more suited to that kind of informal writing than this.

What on earth @Railwayroad. What a strange bee to have in your bonnet 😆

I’ve suffered with horrendous vertigo for several months and have vomited uncontrollably in a variety of places including carpets, walls, on my husbands hand when i missed the sick bowl he was holding…. He’s never done anything except stroke my hair while it’s happening, then cleans up and gets water for me when it’s over.

the few times he’s been ill my first thoughts are get him in bed, and get him a drink, sick bowl and any medicines he may need.

we’re both grown adults but we look after each other when we’re not our best

They live in a rented property. The carpet needs thorough cleaning and stain removal. The smell needs neutralising. He would surely as an adult, know this as well as the OP. He went to football without dealing with any of it. Yet still you're scratching around at the bottom of the barrel for ways to make it seem the OP has been remiss, because he 'wouldn't have thought of it' without the suggestion?

Ugh sorry you had that...unbelievable a grown adult didn't have a bowl. Even our kids ask for a bowl when they feel unwell

I don’t condone men raging and losing it at their female partners, absolutely not.
But I also don’t see women flipping out at their male partners in situations like the one described by OP as harmless and justifiable.

It’s something to do with In Sickness & Health…
You sound a tad bit unsympathetic.
Of course vomit is ghastly but your DH is ill & this was not intentional.
YABU

Fucking. Hell. Why is your bar so goddam low for men?

Sprinkle loads of bicarb for the smell.

Hmmm... Leave it to a Brit to hyper focus on language and writing styles. There's a long history of southerners being singled out for our accents and dialects so no we don't apologize for this and yes we will use it obnoxiously and thicken up our accents more the more it bothers you. And yes many of us do write this way. Why shouldn't we? That's how some of us talk. Yes I realize your English is largely regarded as the original English but southern accents evolved naturally over time and it's a part of our culture.

Mine is soft because when I grew up my school teachers told me I sounded ignorant, uneducated and no one would hire me for work as an adult. It was only years later that I realized how fucked up that was. Just let people be themselves.

We've had a long talk while DD was feeding.
He said he genuinely didn't think he was going to vomit. The retching in the bathroom was him trying to force himself to vomit. He said because that didn't work he assumed it wouldn't happen and when it did it came without warning. Whenever I've been sick, I've always had the prior warning of mouth watering etc, even when I had HG I knew it was coming. However I'd read all the replies on here and realised that some people are surprise vomiters. I've apologised to him.

I've said I will get some help. He said he would never leave because it's clear I need help and support and he knows deep down that the stuff I say about leaving isn't true. I will call the gp this week.

I just hope it's not a bug because I don't want DD to catch it. I'm not worried about myself as I've always managed to dodge sickness bugs and DS has had surgery which means he cannot vomit at all.

Anyway DH is up there now, we're going to clean it up together. I swear everytime I look I find a new splatter.

No one should rage at anyone obviously. But its perfectly possible to say that without setting up the false equivalence of 'if it were a man posting...'. the implication being that you can just reverse the sexes and its exactly the same, when it blatantly isn't. I would have a very different type of concern for a woman posting a man had lost it and was raging, than for a man posting the same. For good reason.

This is the best outcome that could happen I think. You both just like wonderful people who are simply under a great deal of stress.

I hope your little one does not catch it either.

Thats a fab update OP. He does need to step up though. Massively. Do not let him blame your mental state on everything. Look after yourself and good luck!

Sometimes it just comes over you, I did it on the carpet once, running to the bathroom my legs completely gave way and collapsed on the floor and threw up big time

But seeing as he'd managed a Nando's yanbu

He had the Nando's at 2pm and vomited over 10 hours later, the next day!

Good luck op I hope you find your happiness