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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be raging that DH puked on the carpet

291 replies

Willyswaggingfinger · 12/03/2023 01:28

He's not drunk.
He's had a bad stomach all day, lots of loud burping and moaning that he feels ill. Although he felt well enough to eat a nandos at 2pm.
At around midnight he goes to the bathroom and I hear him retching. He comes back to bed and carries on with the loud burping.
At half past midnight he vomits twice on the bedroom carpet on the way to the bathroom.
Im raging because my argument is that if you feel sick you keep a bowl next to you. I've known a grown adult vomit on the carpet.
He says I'm disrespectful and unkind to have a go at him because he's ill.

OP posts:
TheHateIsNotGood · 12/03/2023 01:55

Nope. no dedicated puke-bowl here - but I have a spare washing up bowl at the ready for most unscheduled happenings.

Next thing we know someone will be selling glittery-shit pukebowls on FB.

Remaker · 12/03/2023 01:58

I think it’s uncaring not to get him a bowl (we use a bucket) when he is clearly sick. When I am sick like that I feel weak and dizzy. My husband would get the bucket for me and anything else I needed and I would do the same for him. Surely that’s what we do for people we love?

Justmeandthedog1 · 12/03/2023 01:59

Is it Norovirus? From memory the vomiting from that is pretty spontaneous.
I think you should move the baby out of the room, there’s bound to have been bugs let fly into the air.
( and yes, I’d have fetched the sick bucket at the start)

DontBeJudgyItsNotNice · 12/03/2023 02:04

*If these roles were reversed y'all would be calling him an abuser for treating her so awful while she was ill

CheeseMeltCracker · 12/03/2023 02:05

You sound grouchy and mean and unreasonable, but perhaps you are particularly in need of sleep or have lots of stress at the moment or something else that means this is out of character for you? Are you always quick to lay into loved ones when they show weakness or vulnerability? I ask this because it’s a thing for some people, it provokes a sort of anxiety reaction that leads to lashing out.

If my husband vomited on the carpet, I would be worried about him and do everything I could to look after him, as he would for me, but appreciate having a baby in the room changes things as you will understandably be more concerned about hygiene in all likelihood.

But honestly, you sound very upset and I hope you get some sleep soon and things are calmer in the morning.

JunkinDonuts · 12/03/2023 02:06

Poor bloke.
Would it have killed you to lay a bathsheet on the floor beside him with a bucket.

artimesiasfootsteps · 12/03/2023 02:12

I have a dedicated bucket to throw up in. If my partner was that ill I would have set up supplies by the bed, a towel and bucket and some diaralite or something similar.

however you have a baby and presumably since he is sick are doing all the work today. So you aren’t being unreasonable to be cross I would be too.

PyongyangKipperbang · 12/03/2023 02:14

YABU

Apparently you love him, and yet you speak so disparagingly of him. He is ill, and yet you are angry.....good luck in 2 years when you cannot work out why he has left you......

Sshiamreading · 12/03/2023 02:16

bizzywiththefizzy · 12/03/2023 01:51

Just a quick question 😁does everyone have a special sick bowl that only comes out when someone feels sick or shock horror use the cake mixing bowl ?😮

I’m rarely sick but on the few occasions I’ve felt like I may not make it to the toilet in time I’ve used a bag. I couldn’t handle using a reusable bowl. 😂

KalvinPhillipsBoots · 12/03/2023 02:16

Willyswaggingfinger · 12/03/2023 01:42

It is really that hard if you feel sick to go and get a bowl?

Wow try be nice, he is poorly. You sound awful

HamBone · 12/03/2023 02:18

He couldn't help it, OP, he's got a bug. What surprises me is that you and your baby are sleeping in the same room as him. I could never sleep in the same bed as someone who's been burping like that all day, I'd rather camp out on the sofa and put the baby in a Moses basket or bassinet.

I hate to say this, but you're probably all going to get it.

Willyswaggingfinger · 12/03/2023 02:20

I'm glad I sound awful and he will leave me. It's probably for the best. I've been trying to get him to go for months but he won't, maybe this will give him the push he needs. He keeps saying it's pnd talking but I literally feel nothing.

He's absolutely fine now. He's emptied his stomach and is right as rain.

OP posts:
Pinkpinkpuff · 12/03/2023 02:24

He should have definitely got a bowl. Im sitting on the loo holding a bowl because I feel sick.

dd1 has just covered her bed in sick and then said shes been feeling sick all day 😮.

artimesiasfootsteps · 12/03/2023 02:24

@PyongyangKipperbang wow that’s a bit strong. I realise op posted on Aibu and that you expect a nest of vipers, but good grief that’s nasty.

Her husband was well enough to get Nando’s in, he can organise a bucket and towel, or at least request op to get one. I’ve had pregnancy hg, Norovirus and food poisoning and managed to sort myself out on my own and not be sick on the floor because I’m an adult.

Hope you get the baby off to sleep op, and that tomorrow is better.

FiFiWrites · 12/03/2023 02:27

Ducking massive drip feed 🙄.

Tropicaliyes · 12/03/2023 02:54

I was getting ready to say YABU as someone with one of the worst Vomiting illnesses to exist however after reading further I get your annoyance.

you said he has been feeling sick all day, so that was already a warning sign, he had taken himself off to the toilet to be sick and goes back to bed.. This is the time if you haven’t already grabbed a sick bucket that you get one! It’s Midnight and you have a LO I can imagine you had to look after all day since your Husband is sick so your likely already in bed or getting ready for bed at this time since you said “he came back to bed”.

Me personally since I already have a sickness I always have my vomit bucket at hand however it doesn’t get pulled out until I have felt sick and charged to the bathroom and had that first vomit (the closest I’d get to vomiting on the floor is slightly missing the toilet which I clean up myself and don’t expect anyone else to despite how bad I feel). On my way back to bed i grab my bowl to place on the floor beside me regardless if I will be sick again or not because I don’t have the energy at that point to keep running to the bathroom!

from the point he complained earlier in the day he should have put in a contingency plan for if/when he actually vomits! So by the Time it gets to midnight he should have been fully prepared.

I mean maybe I’m just different but I got sick as a kid and even as a child I never once threw up on the floor in one of my episodes, even before I was use to the whole thing! On top of that, as a kid, had i of thrown up on the floor I would have been made to clean it up.. it was my responsibility to empty and clean that sick bucket every day (the vomiting will continue 5 days non stop) and after 5 days of vomiting and no hospital IV fluids I would be weak but nonetheless still expected to find the energy and strength as a kid!

make sure before using any carpet cleaner (an enzyme cleaner is best) you try to dry it up as much as possible and even after that the smell will still keep coming up but not as bad as trying to use straight cleaner on floor that’s already quite wet! It will take a few days to fully blow off and disappear smell wise (you can use some bicarb alone or with vinegar) to help but once it’s fully dry in a few days it will need to be cleaned again and maybe a few times unfortunately however he has had warning signs all day that he was sick so was his responsibility to sort himself out as he didn’t ask you to help him to the bathroom or grab him a bowl.. how are you to know he will vomit again or still feels sick? Sometimes you just need to get it out your system and feel better so without him communicating with you, you are not going to know what he needs and is a lot to expect you to get out of bed when you need to wake for your LO in the morning.

Even to this day i don’t expect my partner to do a thing when I’m sick and I’m currently pregnant and thrown up quite a few times.. she wouldn’t be pissed if I did throw up on the floor especially being pregnant (maybe a bit annoyed as I would be too) but at the same time I wouldn’t expect her to clean up my mess even though she likely would or come with any attitude.

Mortimercat · 12/03/2023 03:00

Willyswaggingfinger · 12/03/2023 01:42

It is really that hard if you feel sick to go and get a bowl?

Well it could be yes. Why couldn’t you get a bowl for him? This is a person you are supposed to care about.

MarshaMelrose · 12/03/2023 03:03

Clearly she doesn't care about him. In fact she doesn't even like him.

Tinypetunia · 12/03/2023 03:04

Remaker · 12/03/2023 01:58

I think it’s uncaring not to get him a bowl (we use a bucket) when he is clearly sick. When I am sick like that I feel weak and dizzy. My husband would get the bucket for me and anything else I needed and I would do the same for him. Surely that’s what we do for people we love?

This.

emptythelitterbox · 12/03/2023 03:05

You're being a bit grumpy and mean.

He didn't purposely puke on the floor.
No, it's not your job but it would have been nice to put a lined wastebasket by the bed just in case.

Itsgottobeme · 12/03/2023 03:08

have you been like this with him all day whilst hes been sick. the way you talk about him being ill isnt nice at all. so yeh i see where hes coming from
so he didnt get a bucket. idiot. but dont rub it in(haha sorry) literally help the man whos just vomited.
you dont have to think for him no, but you could think for him yes when hes feeling shit and you like someone,usually want to help them.heaven forbid even look out for them.
your an adult.youve heard him being like this all day.why didnt you think of the bucket. or were you just sitting there all day waiting for this exact told you so this is why i think your a dick moment.

RotundBeagle · 12/03/2023 03:11

🤭

yetii · 12/03/2023 03:11

bizzywiththefizzy · 12/03/2023 01:51

Just a quick question 😁does everyone have a special sick bowl that only comes out when someone feels sick or shock horror use the cake mixing bowl ?😮

We use the Halloween pumpkin sweet holder because it glows in the dark!

We do not use it for Halloween!!

blackpearwhitelilies · 12/03/2023 03:13

Poor guy.

Beaniesmumsie · 12/03/2023 03:15

Willyswaggingfinger · 12/03/2023 02:20

I'm glad I sound awful and he will leave me. It's probably for the best. I've been trying to get him to go for months but he won't, maybe this will give him the push he needs. He keeps saying it's pnd talking but I literally feel nothing.

He's absolutely fine now. He's emptied his stomach and is right as rain.

Hm…. Maybe it IS the PND talking? Especially when you say you feel nothing. Have you had treatment for it?

you do sound very uncaring towards him, he‘s poorly and didn’t deliberately throw up on the carpet you know

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